Alexas thought of the day

Share your weaknesses. Share your hard moments. Share your real side. It’ll either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called “perfection”, which will open the doors to the most important relationships you’ll ever be a part of.
Dan Pearce

Weird holidays september 22nd edition

The holidays for September 22nd, 2018 are:
Business Women’s Day
Dear Diary Day
Fish Amnesty Day
International Day of Radiant Peace
International Rabbit Day
Kiwanis Kids’ Day
National Centenarian’s Day
National Elephant Appreciation Day
National Girls’ Night In Day
National Hobbit Day
National Hunting and Fishing Day
National Ice Cream Cone Day
National Legwear Day
National Seat Check Saturday
National Singles Day
National White Chocolate Day
National Wildlife Ecology Day
Proposal Day!
R.E.A.D. in America Day
The First Day of Fall
World Carfree Day
World Rhino Day

Weird holidays september 21st edition

The holidays for September 21st, 2018 are:
International Day of Peace
Miniature Golf Day
National Chai Day
National Farm Safety Day for Kids
National Imperfection Day
National Pecan Cookie Day
National POW/MIA Recognition Day
National Tradesmen Day
Pause the World Day
World Alzheimer’s Day
World Gratitude Day

Okish afternoon

well I ended up having an okish afternoon. I went to iceland, its a local grocery store, I had to buy some groceries for the month, mainly I had to buy slimming world meals, but I ended up buying other stuff as well. I spent 77 euro there. I wasnt planning on spending that much but oh well. It happened, and its done now.
I am happy with the things I got. My sister took me there. Afterwords she said she’d drop me back to my house with the food, so I could put it all away. That was nice of her. So we did that, and then I came back to mom and dads house.
Now we’ve just eaten dinner. I had a frozen meal for my dinner. I had this one with chicken and vegetables, and noodles in a sweet chili sauce. It was delicious and now I am stuffed.
I feel okish right now. Im sure when it comes to tonight I’ll be feeling bad again, but for now I feel ok, and I’ll take that.
carol anne


emotions float
as if I was on a boat
float around
not making a sound
but feelings come
they make me feel
sorta crazy?
Yes that’s it
an ear splitting scream
comes from inside
as I try
To help the children
Parts of me that are
Scared beyond measure
Scared of everything
Scared of what the emotions bring
Scared to cry
To make a sound?
They just want to be found?
Found and held
Finally to be able to say
What it is
They are holding inside
they want to be

I feel human again

So after breakfast and a shower I now feel human again.

I am still feeling overwhelmed but I am trying, and trying counts right?

I had a nice bowl of porridge with pears in it for breakfast. That warmed me up.

The weather is rainy here so that isn’t helping. I have to go out in it later this afternoon. I have to go to Iceland which is a store that sells frozen foods. I need to buy some slimming world meals. My sis is taking me.

So I need to somehow get to where I am ok enough to go. I can do this. I just have to push myself harder.

The shower felt nice too. I enjoyed it. I let the hot water pour down on me. That is so healing.

Now to tackle the inside chaos. Lots of kids crying, panicking, etc.

I just keep telling myself I can do this. I can and I will.

Bad day

Today is a ritual holiday. So its a bad day for us.

I’m sitting here, feeling terrible. I don’t know what to do with myself. I am trying not to think about what today is.

Its the fall equinox. I hate it. Everything about this date triggers fear and sadness, pain and upset in me.

I hope I can get through it. I hope we’ll be ok.

At least we aren’t home, so nobody can get to us. We’re at our parents house. We’re safe at least.

Safe physically, but mentally? Mentally we’re a mess.

So many emotions and feelings. So much chaos inside. So much overwhelm.

Pray, if you pray guys. Pray we’ll get through it.

carol anne