I just got off the phone with my gp. He was calling me back since I rang him last week to speak to him about having gotten a period again after about 5 years of having none.
He told me at first that its normal, that the lining of the womb breaks up after the ovaries are removed, and falls away. Then I told him that 9 months after I’d had the surgery that I’d gotten a light period then, and since then there had been nothing.
He grew concerned then and said that wasnt normal. But that he didnt know why it would happen and if it would happen to me again. So he told me to make an appointment with the nurse to have a smear test done. Well I did that now, but I am so freaked out.
I hate anyone examining me in that way. I know its necessary, but damn. I am so triggered by the fact that I have to have this done. My appointment isnt for 2 weeks, so I have 2 weeks to worry and fret about it. And then once its done, another long wait for results. And with the way the cervical checks are going here in ireland, its not very positive, there are long waits to get results of smear tests, and sometimes people have been misdiagnosed, because the tests are outsourced to labs in the USA.
I am so afraid guys. I am really afraid of having this done. My mom said she’d go in with me. Thank god for that much. I dont want to go in alone. I need her there to hold my hand. I know thats childish but you just dont realise the huge triggers for me surrounding this, considering my history of abuse.
I’m not ok. I’m really, really not ok.
The last time I had a smear test was 6 years ago when I had my surgery to remove my ovaries, and then, I was under anaestetic and asleep when they did it.
So can anyone tell me, is it painful? Does it hurt?
I am so so nervous about this I am beyond freaked out!
I just hope things turn out ok. Please pray for me if you pray and if not then please send me good vibes or good thoughts. I need them right now and for the next few weeks. Eileen isnt even here for me to talk to her about all this, thats what I’d normally do, I did talk with dr. barry yesterday, but man guys. This is just not good.