Tomorrows plans

plans for tomorrow have changed a little bit. I was supposed to bake my xmas cake but now I wont be baking it until Thursday. that is because cora, the staff member whose assisting me cant come in, something personal going on for her not sure what it is, but she wont be able to do it, so i’ll have to do it on Thursday and then ice it next week with mom. the icing is only roll out icing so mom can help me with that. and its best to leave the cake for about a week before icing it. the class are going on a field trip tomorrow, to a place called national learning network, they are going to look at options for further training there should they wish to pursue it since two of the class are leaving soon as their time on the course is up. i’m not going with them because I know about the national learning network already and I have been there to study so I decided I wouldn’t go. so I will just stay behind and do college work, its not like I don’t have a lot of that to catch up on. I said I was having a nearly night tonight but it looks like i’m not. I took meds and tried to lay down but I couldn’t sleep so got up again. its very warm in my room. the heating is turned up full blast and I don’t think I can turn it off. I was going to go have a shower but i’m not sure I should or whether to wait until morning. its just if I don’t sleep good then i’ll be super tired tomorrow morning and wont feel like jumping in the shower. at least I passed my risk assessment though so I can now make tea and coffee in my room. I will post the results of my assessment in another post. kim, the girl doing it had good things to say about my abilities to use equipment and navigate my surroundings confidentally. she also made recommendations for things that could be done to make it easier for me to do things and get around and be safe when making hot food etc. nitro is curled up by my feet, he’s a happy boy tonight. i’m mostly happy too 🙂

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Well its morning good morning all :-)

Good morning everyone 🙂

I’m about to have breakfast. I feel much better after going back to bed and going back to sleep for another hour. That did me the power of good. It was just what I needed. Thank you to those of you who commented on my last post. I appreciate the support and friendship. Today is going to be a good day. We are cooking. We are making vegetable soup and chicken Caesar wraps. I will post pictures later of the recipes to.

So, happy Tuesday everyone, hope you have a great day

Death

so my aunt is slowly dying. the aunt i mentioned a few weeks back who has bone cancer. her body is slowly shutting down. she would not go to a hospice so she is in a regular hospital and its horrible. i have not seen her but i get updates from mom about her and she is having a horrific death. this morning she started seezing, the nurses say her brain is now shutting down, she is also hallucinating and calling out for people. she is unconscious all of the time now, there is no response from her at all. mom said she actually looks like a corpse in the bed. its so sad. if you pray please pray for her. i decided that if she passes i am only going to go to her funeral mass and ceremony. i wont go to the whole funeral, i dont like funerals they really trigger us, so i wont put us through that. i also would not be able to get the time off since i just started my ils course last week. i wish she’d have gone to hospice, she’d have gotten much better care and died peacefully in her sleep. she is on morphine tablets but if she’d have gone to hospice they’d have put her on the box which pumps morphine into the body on a constant basis. now she is really suffering. she was asked to go to hospice but she wouldnt. and her husband wouldnt let her go either. this morning when she was seezing he begged them to give her oxygen and get a member of her team to come see her. however the nurses said no, they said she is dying and they have to let nature take its course. they did ask a member of her team to come up to see her but they refused saying there is no more they can do. its all just so sad. her kids are both drug addicts which is even sadder. both of her kids are heroin addicts. so her husband has all of that to deal with too, which is why he didnt take her home to die. this morning i feel incredibly lucky to have my health. it really is a blessing.
carol anne

Friday update

so its been a busy friday for us. we are at our parents for the weekend. been here since yesterday afternoon. this morning i woke early having slept for about six hours. went to bed at like 2 AM last night. thought i did not have much to do today so that is why I decided to stay up later than usual. anyway once my head hit the pillow I fell asleep. I woke on and off during the night but was able to go back to sleep each time it happened. so yeah chilled out for the morning, ate a yummy omlete for breakfast with bacon eggs and cheese in it. then washed my hair. was messing about online when mom came to me asking me if I’d like to go to a local mall to do a little xmas shopping. I jumped at the chance. I dont have a lot of time off over the coming couple of weeks. So I need to do what I can when I can. So we walked to the mall, big mistake lol. My legs are super sore because I walked 3 out of 5 days this week. But anyway we did it, I managed to walk the 20 mins to the mall. I ended up buying a good few presents for family members. I also bought my friend normas present, I got her perfume, britney spears midnight fantasy. The rest of the presents I got were different gift sets one for my god mother, one for my sisters partner, and one for my aunt. I also got mom some make up that she’s been wanting. We tried on a bunch of perfumes while I was looking for normas one, so now I’ve got about 5 different perfumes on me lol. taylor swifts scent is lovely, I tried that as I had not seen it before. after we finished buying presents we went for a hot drink, I had hot chocolate with marshmallows, and mom had a cappachino. We sat outside drinking our drinks and chatting and it was really nice. It was just nice to spend that one on one time together. Then we took a taxi to my gp’s as I had to get a note from him. The note was to say that I am medically fit to participate in going to the gym on Fridays as part of the healthy lifestyle and nutrition module of my independent living skills curse. We thought we’d be waiting a long time at the gp’s office, but it wasnt busy and we got seen relatively quickly. Now we are back home and I’m happy and content. Have had dinner and now just going to chillax for the remainder of my friday evening. I’m all wrong with my days since the clocks went back last weekend. Today didnt seem like a friday at all…I kept thinking it was saturday. Just going to go online for a while, then watch some tv for the rest of the night.
Hope everyones having a good friday.

A ramble in the middle of the night

so yeah I’m up and awake. its 5 something in the morning, been up since 4. the rain woke me up. its pouring down outside. i dont mind though because i actually slept good last night. mom rang me and woke me up but i was able to go back to sleep again. she was like why didnt you text me and tell me you were going to bed? honestly, i forgot to do that, and anyway, i didnt mind that she rang me, because I wanted to find out how my uncles wife was, remember i told you she has bone cancer and is dying. mom said she’s going downhill with each day that passes. i havent seen her. its on my mind that i havent gone to the hospital. mom said not to worry that my uncle would understand. i’ll try to get there this weekend one night if i can. i want to see her before she passes. today is my PA kristens last day of working with us. thank goodness we dont have to go anywhere in this horrible weather. we’ll just have breakfast and do housework i guess. i’m so gonna miss kristen. at least we’re on each others fb pages so i’ll still be able to stay in touch with her that way. i texted my old home help to tell her i am starting the ILS course on monday, this home help has been out of work since last february. i think she misunderstood my text because at first she texted congratulating me, and saying she was delighted for me and how good this would be for me. then the next day she texted again asking what hours i’ll have now that i am starting this course. i texted her back saying when i start my home help hours are being cut completely, heard nothing back from her after that. i assume she’s pissed. i cant help that though. i need to live my own life, i cant work around other people and what suits them. as the covering home help said to me yesterday, she didnt think about me when she went out of work for months on end. its not my fault that when she is ready to come back there wont be hours for her from me. the covering home help told them yesterday in the office that I’d be starting the ILS course on monday. no one got back to her which i think is just awful. she has left numerous messages about it and still nobodys gotten back to say ok, that is fine, etc. very unprofessional if you ask me. so thats my little rambly update guys. thanks for reading.
carol anne

No storm yet

nothing yet, but its on the way! The rain has started!
I’m a little bit nervous!
I hope we’ll be ok. We’re on our own. And our home help rang to say they got a message from their boss not to come to work today.
So looks like we’ll be preparing our own food. So I told the kids they could have chicken nuggets and amy wants onion rings and we’ll have hash browns too.
At least we slept ok last night. Went to bed at around 11 and its almost 4 AM now and we slept for all that time which is really unheard of for us.
I brought nitros bed out into the hall and shut my living room door. He seemed to like it in the hall, well the little bit of time he spent in the bed, because mostly he slept with me lol.
Anyway thats the update for now will keep yall posted as to how we do with the storm.
carol anne