To be normal, what is that?

A long night
Filled with horrific dreams
Terror knows no bounds
A long night
Filled with pain
The awful pain
Of horrific night terrors
A long night
Where sleep doesn’t come
And being awake
Fearful, crying
Feels horrendous
A long night
Long, long night
Where all I want
Is some normality?
But…
Normality?
Whats that?
I guess I wont ever know

to my abuser, You were so wicked

wicked…
thats you in a nutshell
there was nothing nice about you
what you did
was steal innocence
steal childrens childhoods
without even a second thought
Wicked…
Pure evil
Thats you
Untruthful
Horrid, vile
with no love to give
even though
your job was to care
your job was to take care of kids
but did you?
oh no
all you did was use
abuse
and throw kids away
as if we were
rubbish, trash
Yesterdays news
One day, soon
You’ll pay
and I will be there
Looking on
with glee
Wicked to the core
thats you

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/09/03/wicked/

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What causes avoidant personality disorder?

 

 

A great post about what causes avoidant personality disorder, read on for more info about it!

via What causes avoidant personality disorder?

Could hav been

i could have been beautiful
but you spattered me with blood
i might have been graceful
but you knocked me into the mud

i could have been courageous
but you crumpled me into a ball
i might have been brave
but you made me feel so small

i could have been intelegent
but you taught me not to try
i might have been brilliant
but you told me the truth is a lie

i could have been trusting
but your promises lay broken
i might have been confiding
but you taught me to leave everything unspoken

i could have been independent
but you left so many needs unfilled
i might of been self-reliant
but you made it so i couldn’t rebuild

i could have been whole
but you tore me all apart
i might have been so much more
but you destroyed my growing heart

c2006

This is a poem about my experiences of being a child abuse survivor, this was written to my abusers.

I am rereading now

I am rereading a book I read a few years ago at the moment. Its a cathy glass book. Its called will you love me and its about how she came to adopt her daughter Lucy, whom she fostered before adopting her.
Its a really good read. I am enjoying it immensely.
Its very very sad though. Lucys early life was very traumatic. Before she came into care I mean.
I wanted to reread this book as I couldn’t remember a lot of the details.
I’ll review it once I am done. Have any of you my readers read it?

#Writing prompt 29

My voice matters because

My voice matters because when I was little I couldnt speak out.

I didnt have a choice back then, I couldnt say no. I was just abused and that was that.

My voice matters now, and I will do what I can to raise awareness of child abuse, mental illness, and most of all to raise awareness of the struggles I go through each day.

I matter, I am learning that, for years I believed I didnt, now I know thats not true.

When your given an opportunity, speak out. Its the only way to make people listen. Its the only way to show people how much your story means, and how what you’ve gone through has effected you.

Never ever give up. Speak out, be courageous, be brave, you matter, we all matter!

In response to sarah elizabeths writing prompt!

https://sarahelizabethmoore.org/2019/07/21/writing-prompt-29/

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