Visited my grammas and grandpas grave

Yesterday we visited my gramma and grandpas grave. They are buried in the same one. I usually don’t like going to grave yards, I mostly went for moms sake, mom really wanted to go. I am proud that I faced my fears and went. It was nice. I said some prayers and spent a little time just talking to my gramma and grandpa. We got flowers and put them on the grave. We bought lillies, roses and some other ones not sure of what they were. The grave yard where they are buried is a very old grave yard. There are graves in there going as far back as the early 1800’s. We walked around and looked at a few of them. I don’t know why but grave yards always spook me. There are some houses near this one, and I was telling mom I’d hate to live alongside a grave yard. I’d be terrified. Anyway I am glad we went. Its not often I visit their graves. It was nice to do that and then go back to the lake that is nearby and feed the ducks and swans and have drinks. Doing that made it a little easier as I knew we’d be doing something fun afterwords.

Rip grandad, gone but never forgotten

Today marks four years since my grandad passed away. That time has flown by. I cant believe he’s been dead four years. It sure doesn’t feel like it.

I still miss him every day. He was my moms dad. A huge part of my life. I think of him every day, thoughts of him are never far away.

He always wanted me to try to lose weight. Now that I am, I pray to him to look down on me, and keep me motivated. I think he does. I feel his presence around me on most days.

Rip grandad, bill. You were such an inspiration to me.

I will leave you all with the song we played at his funeral, at the crematorium. Its a fitting song. He was 80 years old when he died.

Rest in peace, I love you always!

Memories of my gramma

So today while cleaning out a drawer I found a folder. In it I found letters that my gramma wrote to me when I was 9 years old. So they are 30 years old. I found 3 letters. I got mom to read them to me. It was bittersweet. I was moved to tears by what she said in them. She said she wished she could come to my school to visit me, but that she felt too unwell to make the long journey there. But she hoped some day she’d be able to come. She never did. She suffered from severe and prolonged depression all of her life. She would spend weeks and months in bed. I always remember that about her I remember going to visit her at weekends and sitting with her and we’d watch old movies and chat. I miss her so much. She died when I was 14, she died from breast cancer that spread all over her body. Finding those letters today brought back a lot to me. In them she was telling me about family, and in each of them she said she enclosed 2 pounds, that was a lot of money back in 1989, I remember having money to go to the store and buy candy, and all of my friends in school were jealous of me. I do remember her also writing to me when I was in school and staff reading out the letters to me. I’m so glad I kept them. Having them is so important to me. It helps me feel connected and close to my gramma, who I loved dearly.


A special anniversary date

Today August 24th is my grandads birthday. If he was alive he would have been 85. He died 3 years ago though.

I still miss him every day. Today I will think of him. And I will send a quick prayer up to him up in heaven, to let him know I miss him and love him.

RIP grandad bill, you were one in a million.
carol anne


A quiet sunday

Well the day out yesterday was good. We brought flowers to my grammas grave and laid them on it. Then we went and got some food afterwords and then I went home to my dad, and my mom and aunts went back to some bar to visit with their brother.
I went to bed early last night. I just felt sad and pretty tired so decided the best thing to do would be to sleep. And I did sleep. I think I needed to catch up on all the sleep I’d missed lately.
Todays been pretty low key. I had dinner with mom and dad and then I went home to my own place. My friend Norma is coming over in a little while for a couple hours. That will be nice. I like it when she visits.

Anniversaries and family time

this weekend is kinda hard. its both of my grammas death anniversaries. my nana catherine who is my moms mom will be dead 23 years tomorrow Sunday. Then my nana bridget who is my dads mom will be dead 32 years on Monday.
Today Saturday, we are going to visit my nana Catherines grave, me, my mom, and my two aunts. The weather is not very good at the moment here, its rainy, and windy, but we’re still going to go anyway. Then afterwords we are going to have lunch somewhere and then my mom and aunts are going to have some drinks, i’m dieting so wont be drinking any alcohol.
I dont remember a lot about nana bridget, because I was only 5 when she died. She died by suicide though. My nana Catherine got breast cancer, she died when I was 14. I was very close to her. We used to sit and watch old movies together on the weekends when I’d be home from Dublin. She adored me and i adored her. I still miss her every day.