I could use a friend, and a little bit of support.
I feel like crap. I am not ok. Negative thoughts are running rampant in my head.
Its not good. All the whatifs keep running around ug sigh!
I am not having a good evening!
I feel so depressed. Last night one of our kids, lexi, was feeling like self harming. She didn’t, thank god! But she was struggling so much and she ended up emailing Eileen.
I think this depression is partly down to the time of year.
I felt ok at work earlier, don’t know why it changed! All I can think is how absolutely shit this feeling is.
If anyone is around please can you send me a bit of encouragement! I could use it!
I WOKE UP FEELING AWFUL. I THINK ITS THE FACT THAT THE SPRING EQUANOX JUST PASSED. I AM A SRA SURVIVOR, SRA STANDS FOR SATANIC RITUAL ABUSE, WE SURVIVED BEING IN A CULT FOR 11 YEARS. BEING IN THAT CULT WAS HELL. THEY TURN EVERYTHING ON ITS HEAD. GOOD DAYS ARE BAD. SPECIAL DAYS ARE MADE INTO DAYS OF TERROR. ALL HOLIDAYS ARE JUST SO AWFUL.
THIS MORNING I FEEL NUMB. I TRIED TO NAME MY FEELINGS BUT I CANT. I CANT GO THERE RIGHT NOW. I FEEL NUMB AND THERE IS A DULL ACHE IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH.
I WANT TO CRY, SCREAM, BUT I CANT. IM JUST AN UNFEELING MESS. TO FEEL IS TOO TERRIFYING.
I TOOK A SHOWER, MADE SOME TEA, AND ATE SOMETHING. THAT HAS HELPED A LITTLE. I THINK I NEED TO TAKE THINGS EASY THIS MORNING. NOT DO TOO MUCH. JUST GO SLOW. REMIND MYSELF THAT THINGS WILL CHANGE, AS THEY ALWAYS DO.
WE’RE GOING VOLUNTEERING LATER. CAROL ANNE WILL GO. I’M GOING TO STAY INSIDE I THINK. IT IS BEST IF I DO THAT.
FOR NOW THOUGH I’M GOING TO VEG IN FRONT OF THE TV.
Well its here! Todays the day! Presenting in an hour! Omg! I am sooo nervous!
I didn’t sleep very well either. I managed to get 2 or 3 hours of sleep but that was it!
I got up at 6:30, drank lots of coffee, showered, and now I’m ready or as ready as I’ll ever be!
I went over my presentation and read it aloud! I hope I will do well at it!
My friend Denise is going to help me a little, she offered to use powerpoint for me, and press the button to make my slides go from slide to slide. I took her up on the offer. I think it will be good if the class has a visual thing to go on as well as me just talking to them.
I’ll sure be glad when this I sover! At least I am doing it at the start of class!
Wish me luck guys! I need it!
I woke up feeling bla. I just feel off. I don’t know why! I just woke up numb, then I went from feeling numb to just feeling down. Now I feel so depressed. I cant shake it. I think I need to do something to distract. I ate a banana, and drank 2 cups of tea. I was hoping the tea would make me feel better. It didn’t. Thank god I have therapy tomorrow. I badly need it.
I have planned some nice things to do today for self care.
Have a long hot bubble bath.
Go out with mom for a few hours.
Read my book, start a new one.
Eat nutritious meals.
Journal, or write a poem.
Laugh, a lot.
FIBBING FRIDAY MARCH 15
What would a Friday be without the chance to fib? So, put on your thinking caps and prepare your biggest whopper.
Here are this week’s questions:
1.What did the fox say? ” Who knows, I cant make it out, hehhehe!
2.What really ran Grandma over? Her range rover, she’s too old to be driving!!
3.Those aren’t elves in Santa’s workshop…what are they? Fairies! How else does he make hundreds of toys so quickly?
4.What were the milkman’s confessions? I deliver more than just milk 🙂
5.The Mad Hatter wasn’t really a hatter, what was his occupation? Psychiatrist!
6.What is your favorite sandwich? Ham and pineapple, lol, oh that’s a pizza! Haha!
7.What do you like to curl up with on cold winter nights? Some things should be kept private. 😲
8.Davy Jones doesn’t have a locker…what does he have? ahem, I cannt say, its too rude!
9.Blackbeard was a not a pirate…what was he? A zookeeper!
10.What are the real directions to Neverland? I’ll never tell.
11.Why do people in old tv shows and movies spend so much time sitting on their front porch? They’re so bored, and they cant figure out what else to do!
12.What really happened to the three little pigs? one went to market, one stayed home, and the other went wee wee wee all the way home!
13.What really is Trump’s Space Force? The space between his ears.
14.Who brings the Easter eggs? Oh now, that would be my Nitro furbaby! He loves chocolate!
15.What is down the rabbit hole? Bunny Poop!
If you’d like to fib, head on over to “The Haunted Wordsmith” –