Working on us, week 21, addictions and obsessions!

This week Beckys Working on us prompt deals with addiction and obsession! I thought I would participate! Becky is doing a great job of raising awareness of mental illnesses and I am proud to participate and be part of her weekly prompt!
Becky says this about her prompt!

Hello, All! Welcome back to Working on Us A series that represents people with mental health illnesses/disorders.

Help Break The Stigma Surrounding Mental Health

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Rules:

Write your own post and create a pingback to the original post here.

There are no right or wrong answers. Write in any format you see fit. (Answers, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, poem, short proseanything, and/or narrative).

You can do one or all prompts.

You have from October 30th. through November 5th. to submit your entries.

Please reblog the original post in order to spread more awareness.

( If you the blogger has a suggestion/question you want to ask in the future weeks, please submit them in the comment section of this post).

Lets see if we can get some men involved in this weeks prompts, your viewpoint/feelings are validated here too!

Plus, as an added bonus, whoever responds to the following prompts will automatically be reblogged to promote your blog site and spread more awareness!

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Remember to create a pingback to this original post after you write your own post. Also, remember that this is not a prompt-based post. Please write a narrative. I really look forward to your responses. Or, maybe I should say We all look forward to one anothers responses.

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So here I go!

What am I addicted to? Number one on my list is, my phone! I always have to have it! I know lots of people are addicted to their phones, or feel that they are. But I really have a huge problem! My phone is never out of my sight! Its always wherever I go! Always glued to me!

I am either always on wordpress, facebook, or texting!

The second thing I am addicted to is food! I use it as a comfort! I am trying to break that habit! I have been losing weight and eating only when I am hungry! Before I’d use food to cope, I’d use it when I was sad, angry, and eat whatever I wanted! I gained a ton of weight! Also take away food was my downfall! It is a huge trigger for me, so now I just dont eat it!

There is alcohol and drug addictions in my family also! My dad is an alcoholic, and all of his brothers and sisters were alcoholics too and his mom also was one!

One of my cousins is addicted to heroin,!

Thankfully I’ve never been addicted to either drugs or alcohol. I do drink but I can take it or leave it and it wouldnt bother me if I didnt drink for months on end!

I do think I have an addictive personality though!

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Working on us week 20, my did diagnosis

This week Becky of beckys mental mess for her working on us prompt, has asked those of us who have did to write a narrative and share our experiences of it with the blogging community. So well, of course, I figured I’d get in on the act!
I’m going to write about how I came to my did diagnosis!

First, a little background. I was in a bording school for the blind, from the time I was 5 until I was sixteen. This is where the majority of my abuse took place.
As a young child, I always knew I was different. I heard people. I heard them talking to me, and about me, to each other and about each other, I heard them comment on things, like, what I ate, what I wore, etc.
I never realised then that I had did. That was not diagnosed until much later in my life.
So when I left dublin at age 16, and went to school back home in cork, I was in school 3 months when I had a big ptsd flare up, and after that, I was hospitalised for acute stress disorder which was then labeled ptsd.
I saw a psychiatrist, and she diagnosed me with clinical depression and put me on meds.
A few years later, I saw another psychiatrist, after I started in therapy. I’d been having memories of the abuse, and started going to therapy for that.
He diagnosed me with did, unofficially. I saw this doctor for 5 years, we tried a lot of meds, and I was also hospitalised a few times, we were so unstable back then, there was lots of self harm, suicide attempts etc.
In 2010 I was seeing a therapist and it was being funded by a local organisation here for abuse survivors, in order to continue funding the therapy they needed a formal diagnosis, so they got did experts over here from the Uk to diagnose me, and that is how I came to my did diagnosis.
I had a day long assessment, where I had to answer a ton of questions, a did expert and a psychiatrist interviewed me, and I filled out a lot of questionaires and trauma assessments, and then they went back to the UK and made up their reports, they also recorded the session.
And they diagnosed me with did, after hearing what I had to say, then some time later, after a couple of years, the assessment was repeated, not to diagnose me, but just to check in and see how we were doing after a few years.
My therapist Eileen and dr. barry were at the second assessment, I wasnt seeing them when I was originally diagnosed.
Its been a long road, with many ups and downs, but I’m happy with where things are at right now.

http://beckiesmentalmess.blog/2019/10/23/october-23-2019-working-on-us-week-20-mental-health-blogging-community-mental-health-series-topic-dissociative-identity-disorders/

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Working on us week 16 passive suicidal ideation

This week I again participate in Beckys working on us prompt.

This weeks topic is passive suicidal ideation. For anyone, the difference between passive and suicidal ideation is essentially I wish I was dead (passive) vs. I want to kill myself (active).

Prompt #1

Write a narrative about yourself and/or someone you know that is believed to think Passive Suicidal Ideation

I have suffered from this. I still do. I go from passive, to active, and then back to passive. I think its like that for a lot of people actually. For me the passive part of it is the scary part. When your in active SI you have the energy to do something, to actually go through with it. When your passively thinking about it, it seems to be far worse. At least, thats how it is for me anyway. Wishing I was dead, wishing I didnt exist, wishing I wasnt around any more, that feels awful and scary to me. even though at the time I am wishing it and thinking it, I dont seem to really care one way or another.

I am glad I havent had any SI thoughts in a while. Not bad ones. I’ve had fleating thoughts every so often, but nothing major, I am so thankful for that much.

Having support while your suicidal is the best thing. Getting help, reaching out that is the most important thing I think. Talking about it, not being afraid to ask someone if they are thinking about suicide or feeling suicidal, that is the only way to end the stigma of suicide.

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Working on us week 14, boundaries and relationships!

This weeks working on us topic is boundaries, and relationships! If you’d like to participate then check out beckys post on the link provided and go for it! Its a lot of fun!

Rules:

  • Write your own post and create a pingback to the original post here.
  • There are no right or wrong answers. Write in any format you see fit. (Answers, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, poem, short proseanything).
  • You can do one or all prompts.
  • You have from September 4th. through to September 10th. to submit your entries.

  • Please reblog the original post in order to spread more awareness.

Question Prompt:

  1. How would you describe your relationships with family and friends? They’ve gotten better over the last couple of years, before that, they were strained, and not really that good.
  2. Have you ever had to set boundaries with family and friends? Oh yes, with my dad, in particular, also with friends, it was hard, but I did it and I am proud that I achieved that.
  3. Do you believe your boundaries are respected by your families and friends? Most of the time, although my dad can disrespect them at times, he needs constant reminding from me that I wont take his bullshit and crap.
  4. Are you treated differently because of your mental illness/disorders? Yes. Unfortunately. It was a lot worse when things were strained and the relationships between my family and I werent good. Nowadays its there, but I am not treated like I am someone to be afraid of or feared.
  5. Are your family and friends supportive and understanding of your mental health? I’d say a little bit. Not hugely though. They find the dissociative identity disorder challenging. They also dont really get it about the ptsd, they understand anxiety and depression a little bit and are more ok about those things.
  6. Describe a For instance of how you handled setting boundaries with family or friends? Well, I have a friend, norma, she’s blind like me, and also suffers from mental illness, a few years ago, I had to set some boundaries with her, because she was being very eratic, and treating me harshly, for no reason, other than she was getting attention for it from professionals around her. So I set boundaries, and we didnt speak for a while, now we do talk again, but I am firm with her, and I dont stand for any crap.

https://beckiesmentalmess.blog/2019/09/04/__trashed-6/

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Working on us, week 11, pet therapy!

This weeks working on us prompt is all about pet therapy and emotional support animals. Something thats very very dear to my heart. I am going to participate in the two prompts this week. So…lets get going…

  1. Do you own a pet for emotional support and/or service/therapy?

Yes! I own a guide dog as I am blind. He is not officially an emotional support animal, but he does support me emotionally, in so so many different ways.
Is your pet a certified therapy animal?
No, he’s not certified, well he’s trained as a guide dog. Maybe thats being certified in a way. But for emotional support, he’s not certified.

What kind of pet do you own?
He’s a labrador retriever cross! He’s almost 9 now. I’ve had him since he was two years old.
Do you believe that support animals truly assist those in need?
Definitely! When I am sad, mad, agitated, anxious, or depressed, Nitro comes to me. He gives me his paw, he licks my hands, he sits at my feet, or he lays his head on me, nudging me and giving me love and being very attentive to my needs.
Do you believe that any animal can be a therapy/support pet?
Most animals can be. I went to a petting farm recently, and I absolutely loved it there. I loved the goats, the llamas, the pigs, all of the wonderful animals. I believe animals have many healing powers. And they love you unconditionally!

Prompt two: Describe how your pet is of support to you? EXAMPLE: Helps with anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc (And, please Share their name and a photo) if you desire.

Nitro helps me with my anxiety. Like I already said, if I am anxious, he sits by me, he rests his head on my lap, he licks my hands, or gives me his paw. He also helps when I am depressed. As I feed him, let him out, walk him, I need to take care of him, so I cant just stay depressed, as he needs me, so I need to focus on him and doing that helps me to get out of my head and break out of my depressive state. I am so grateful for Nitro. I love him and I am so, so glad heh is my guide dog. I’d be lost if he wasnt in my life, and I cant bear to think about a time when he wont be in my life.

If you want to participate, You can check out beckys prompt post here

https://beckiesmentalmess.blog/2019/08/14/august-14-2019-working-on-us-this-weeks-mental-health-prompts-for-blogging-community-week-11-topic-therapy-emotional-support-animals-pets/

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Working on us: Social media effects

Becky is again doing her weekly prompt, working on us, and I am again participating in it. This weeks topic I think is a cool one. See my answers below!

Week #10 Topic: Social Media Affects

Prompt #1 Questions: (If certain questions do not apply, just write n/a).

  1. Does social media affect your overall mental health? If so, please describe how it does Well it kinda did for a while. Especially facebook. I have stopped using it so much now, because I felt it was negatively effecting me. I was constantly checking my friends profiles, seeing how many comments and stuff were on their posts, and comparing my own to theirs, and I felt after a while it was impacting me negatively. Funnily enough though it doesnt effect me the same way on wordpress, I think blogging is a much more positive place and has been far more positive for me than facebook.affect you?
  2. How does it make you feel when you see family/friends posting pictures of them living their life happily? I feel happy that they are happy.
  3. Do the following people make you feel inadequate in any way due to your mental health? Not really. My family include me in things, so I’m usually in some of the pictures that are posted, my friends have their own stuff going on, I know that, so I dont feel inadequate, no one is perfect, and while they may not have mental illness, their families could be effected by other issues.
  4. What has been your overall experience with social media? And, what sites do you follow? Mostly good. I havent really had any negative experiences, besides a few immature commenters on youtube. I am on twitter, facebook, youtube, and wordpress.
  5. Have you considered not being on social media? No. I dont think I’d like to not be on it. I like the connections I’ve made through it.
  6. If you have quit social media sites, has it improved your mental health and stability? NA
  7. Has social media ever triggered you in a negative way? Explain how? Sometimes. Seeing talk on twitter of self harm, and suicide and people planning and talking openly about methods they’ve used has triggered me in the past.

Prompt #2 We are all familiar with “Selfies” Describe for us, what is the first thing you think of when you see your family/friends keep sending and/or posting selfies?

First thing I usually think is…they really love themselves! And thats just my sarcasm coming through! 😛
I do post my own selfies sometimes too though so I cant really talk about anyone!

http://beckiesmentalmess.blog/2019/08/07/august-7-2019-working-on-us-this-weeks-mental-health-prompts-for-blogging-community-week-10-topic-social-media-affects/

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Working on us prompt July 31st, music therapy

Becky has done her working on us prompt again this week, thank you becky! I love this working on us prompt, and I am again participating this week so here goes!

Prompt 1 questions:
Have you ever received music therapy as part of your treatment? If so, what kind of music was introduced to you? Yes. The drop in centre I go to had a music therapy group, we wrote our own song, and performed it to the staff there, and made a video also of us singing it! It was so much fun!
Do you listen to music ( if/when) you meditate? If so, what kind of music do you listen to? I listen to music almost all of the time. Music is my therapy. I love it. I mostly listen to show tunes, popular chart hits, and sometimes music from the 90’s or 80’s.
If you have never tried music therapy as a treatment, what types of music calm and/or mellow you? I like to listen to love songs, or show tunes, to help me regulate and calm down.
Do you believe music helps everyone and there is really no use for therapy in this regard? I believe music will help everyone, but I do believe therapy is also needed, music can make you emotional, and sometimes you need somewhere to go to release all that emotion that the music evokes in you!

Prompt #2 Music Selection:
Select 2 music video’s that help you and your mental stability when you listen to it. Also, describe how those songs make you feel?

The first song I’ve chosen is gravity by sarah bareilles.

I love this song, the lyrics speak to me, it makes me feel a lot of emotions.

My second song is I’m still hurting which is a show tune, its from the musical the last five years, I love this and have sang it in the past when I was in vocal voice coaching. It always makes me feel intense emotions too.

That was so much fun! Thanks again becky for a great prompt this week!

July 31, 2019 “Working on Us” This Weeks Mental Health Prompts for Blogging Community: Week 9 Topic: Music Therapy, How Does Music Affect You?