Morning ramble

I’m having a very productive morning. My PA amanda is here. We went to get my money out of the ATM, and while we were at the local shopping mall, we went to the butchers, and I got a nice stir fry, with steak in it. I will have that today for dinner. I also bought garlic potatos. I love garlic potatos. Amanda cooked the stir fry for me, and all I need to do now is heat it up later on when I want to eat it. I never got to the gym. My motivation to exercise just isnt there. I am going to push myself though to do a 1 mile walk later today, I have a 1 mile walk on my phone, which takes 20 minutes to do. I will try really hard to do that walk every day this weekend. I have to try harder. I am being far too lax about exercising. And I know thats not good for me. I know I need to be trying. I am wasting my gym embership, but I will get back there too soon. I’ll start with the walk on my phone first, and build up to going back to the gym. I am not going to go volunteering today. I dont feel in the mood. I still feel very impacted by the recent death of one of my clients. I need to try to text Eileen later on today and see if we can do a phone check in. I know I spoke to dr. barry on Wednesday about it, but I just feel I need to also talk to Eileen. I know if she is able to she’ll give me a phone check in. She knows I wouldnt ask unless it was urgent. And I feel this is urgent. I cant stop thinking about the client. I keep replaying the conversation my supervisor had with me over in my head. It freaks me out to know that she lay on the floor all night, possibly alive for some of th e time. I just feel that I cant help anyone today. I dont feel in the right mind frame to help anyone right now. I feel I Just need a break from it today. My plan is to have an afternoon where I do self care things, and chill out. Just sit at home, watch tv, read, etc. Mom is coming over tomorrow, and I am planning on going to my friend Normas house on sunday if she’s free. So I do have a few things planned for this weekend. I hope your all having a nice start to your friday.

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Sad news. I lost another client

Yesterday afternoon I went volunteering, as i normally do. My supervisor picked me up. On the way there, she gave me some bad news. Actually it wasnt just bad news, it was quite shocking.
She told me that one of our clients had died. She was 72 years old. She died last Thursday evening, what had happened was, on Friday afternoon I had tried to call her and I didnt get through to her. So I told my supervisor that I didnt manage to get through. My supervisor thought she might be sleeping as she did that sometimes in the afternoon. So we thought no more of it and we said we’d try again on Monday.
On Saturday morning my supervisor was at home and she had to look up a website about funeral arrangements for a family member. She scrolled to the section for cork, and there before her eyes, the clients name appeared. Of course she was immediately in shock. She immediately called the clients next of kin to see what had happened to her.
What happened is quite morbid, but I will tell you anyway. On thursday evening the client fell down the stairs, backwards. She lay there on the floor all night, we arent sure if she was killed upon falling, or if she lay there for a while still alive. On friday morning, a passer by saw some blood coming out from under her door, and they called the police, and when the police went there they found her dead.
Of course we’re all in shock. She’d been a client of friendly call for the past 8 years. My supervisor took it really hard as she’d been visiting her one to one for a while as well as having her be on the phone service. I’m actually also in shock myself about it. The fact of how it happened, it is very disturbing to me.
You just really never know from day to day what is going to happen to you do you? I mean we talked to her on Thursday, she was fine, then this happened to her that night. Its very disturbing. She had a lot of serious mental health issues, and she was very hard work, but despite all that, none of us wanted anything like this to happen to her. Its just awful. So that was what I faced yesterday. I wasnt ok for the entire afternoon after hearing it. It really effected me deeply.
I’m a little bit better today. After a long chat about it to dr. barry I feel much better. I am reminded though of just how precious life really is. And also of how my work can and does really impact me on a deep level. I love my work, but I hate losing clients, and this is the second client who I’ve lost in the space of 2 months.

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Back to work

I had a pretty good day yesterday. I was back to work. Back volunteering on friendly call. That was good. I was happy to be back. I got picked up by my supervisor at around 1:45 PM. I had christmas presents to give her and my other colleague trish. I gave them bath stuff, which they loved. They told me I shouldnt have gotten them anything. But I think its nice to be nice. They’ve been really good to me throughout the year. Picking me up every week, bringing me to and from work, etc. Its nice to acknowledge them and acknowledge that.
We had a bit of a crisis yesterday with one of our client. One of our clients is very depressed, and anxious. She has really bad anxiety, well yesterday when I got there she was on the phone to another volunteer, she’d been on for about an hour, when we’re supposed to get off the phone after about 20 minutes max.
My supervisor told the volunteer to hang up and she told the volunteer to tell the client that she’d ring her back at 4 PM. Which she did, the client was ok, she said she’d been calling a couple other support lines, like the samaritans, the aware phone line which is for people suffering from depression etc.
So at least she had some extra support. We arent trained therapists or anything, so its good she has other people to support her too. The volunteer she’d spoken to was quite upset after coming off the call. It can be really draining if your speaking to a depressed person for a long time on the phone.
Anyway, I worked until around 5 PM. I went to mom and dads then. Ate dinner, and crashed for the evening. Started to watch something on tv, but fell asleep in the middle of it.
I have no plans for the weekend. My plan is just to relax. Not do much of anything at all.

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Back to normality

Thank goodness christmas is finally all over! Dont get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but I sure am glad to be going back to normal, back to my normal routine, back to what I normally do every day!
Tomorrow I go back to therapy. I am delighted to be going back. The break was hard. It was really tough. We got through it but it was very hard to manage it.
Tuesday I go back volunteering on friendly call. It will be my first day back after the holidays. I am excited to go back to work. I will enjoy catching up with my colleagues in the office, finding out all about their christmas.
Wednesday I start college. Starting college is going to be amazing. I got my student ID card in the mail just before christmas. I have my second day of wrap training on Wednesday. Its an all day training. I think it is anyway. I’m pretty sure it is.
I’m really happy to be back doing my normal things, back to a normal routine, that is just awesome I think.

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No volunteering, gym workout and phone therapy check in

Well I didnt go volunteering today. I got a call from my supervisor. the office is still closed. Its closed until next week. So I didnt have to go in. I was glad. I wasnt really in a space mentally where I could be there for others, so it helped that I didnt have to go in today.
I went to the gym this morning as planned. I did 30 mins on the treadmill and 15 mins on the bike. I was so tired after the workout. I only went at a speed of 3.5 on the treadmill. There was another girl there and she was running at a speed of 6.3. I was tired just thinking about it lol. I felt much better after working out, I felt much more energised.
I’ve just had a therapy phone check in with eileen. It was good. We talked for about 15 minutes. We basically talked about christmas, the therapy break, and about my worry over her not responding to us yesterday. She thanked me for thinking of her since I knew it was her moms 1st year death anniversary this week. She said she was very taken with the fact that I’d remembered that. I was like, of course I’d remember! Your important to me! I wouldnt forget such an important thing!
Now I can look forward to tomorrow night! I’m heading out with family tomorrow night. We’re going for a meal and to see a rod stuart tribute band. It should be fun! I’m so excited! I cant wait to get dressed up and go! I plan on not drinking though. I’ll be on the diet coke and nothing stronger 😀
carol anne

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In case you wondered about us…

I’ve been in bed. All evening. I was exhausted. I couldnt get enough sleep. I slept for hours. Now its 3 AM and I am wide awake. I know my sleep patterns all wrong. Its really mixed up. But I didnt have anything else to do yesterday. So staying in bed was ok. Today though my PA Amanda is coming at 9 AM. We’re going to the gym. I’m starting back to that this week. Starting back exercising again. I am planning on going for an hour. Doing 40 mins on the treadmill and about 15 on the bike. That will be a great workout if I can do that. Then I need to go get money out of the ATM. I am not sure if I start back volunteering at friendly call today. I need to call in and find out if the office is open and if people are back at work. I havent heard anything about it so am not sure. I am kinda worried about Eileen. Liz texted her to ask her if we could have a phone check in. That was yesterday morning. She never responded. Thats totally not like her. She always responds within a few hours. So I am not sure if she saw it and was too busy, or if somethings up with her. I know this time of year is close to when her mom died. Its coming up on the 1 year anniversary of that. So maybe she is just really busy. I dont know whether I should text again, or leave it go. I’m thinking on what I should do. I might text later this morning. Just to see if she’s ok. If we cant have the check in it doesnt matter. I’ll be seeing her on Monday anyway. I really hope she’s ok. I know this is a hard time of year for her. I am mindful of that. She was really close to her mom.
Anyway, thats where things are at for us right now. I hope you all had a good day yesterday.

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Working on friendly call over christmas

so I didnt go volunteering on tuesday. and they are closing early on friday and I cant come in as my PA is coming on friday morning early,so I wont be going in thnow until after christmas. My supervisor asked me to work over christmas though. We have to work from home. The office is closed from this coming Friday until the 2nd of January. Tonight she sent me my list of clients to call over christmas. She told me to call them on christmas day, boxing day and some other dates over the christmas period. I have 10 clients to call. Not all of our clients are recieving calls over the christmas as some of them go to family and stuff. She told me if I can to call them on christmas day before 1 PM. That should be easy as I will be up early anyway, opening presents and having a lazy morning with my family. Taking an hour out of my day to call them is not going to be a huge deal to me. I am happy I get to do it. I am happy I get to maybe brighten their day. I am happy I get to be there for them. These clients literally have nobody. They are on their own for the holidays. So getting a call from us might be the only call they get on christmas day. We may be the only person they speak to on christmas. So doing this is the least I can do for them. It makes me so happy to be able to give back. To be able to reach out to people. I would hope that if I ever needed the service that I would be shown the same compassion. Some day down the line, I may need the service, who knows. And I hope if I do that whoever is volunteering then will do for me what I am doing for my clients now. My family asked me if I mind working over the christmas holiday. The truth is no I dont. I dont mind in the least. If I can make someones christmas special by having a 10 to 15 minute chat on the phone with them then I am very happy. My job matters to me. I love it. I love doing what I do. So working over christmas, its all part of it in my opinion.

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