Truth!

Today’s Quote:
How would your life be different if… You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day… You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.
Steve Maraboli

Virus-free. www.avg.com

A thank you to Eileen…

Eileen

Thank you for always being there for me. For helping me to find the words when I cant.

For sitting with me, validating me, for understanding where I am coming from.

Thanks for your love, support and most of all your kindness and understanding about why I do what I do. It means so much to me.

You’ve shown me over and over that your gonna be there for me, no questions asked. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have you in my life.

Thank you for making me feel safe, and understood, and for giving me a safe space to explore and discover things about myself that are hard to talk about.

I am so grateful to have that. You make me feel so good about myself, that I actually want to do the work, therapy isnt so bad, after all!

Thanks again, I love you and I hope to continue to explore my past with you, and my present, to figure out some more things about myself.

Wendy, age 23

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Surprise phone check in

eileen surprised us last night. a couple of us had emailed her during the night when we were having bad nightmares and flashbacks. we were distressed and we had emailed as we always do, well last night she texted us at 6 o’clock, asked us how we are doing and said she had a couple of minutes to talk if we needed to check in.
we rang her and we talked. it felt so good.
emily talked to her and so did I. she was babysitting so she only had a few minutes but thats all we needed.
she was able to ground us and reassure us and before she went she said we’d talk as arranged on tuesday.
she said we could continue to email her if we needed to.
we are so lucky to have such a caring and compassionate therapist. someone who truly cares, and looks out for us.
thank you eileen. thank you for coming trough for us just when we needed it.

She saw me…

I’M SIRENA. I’M 13. I’M A DARK IN OUR SYSTEM.

TODAY IN THERAPY EILEEN ASKED FOR ME. SHE ACTUALLY WANTED TO TALK TO ME. I COULDNT BELIEVE IT.

I HAD EMAILED HER LAST WEEK IN DISTRESS. TELLING HER I QUIT THERAPY AND I WASNT GOING TO CONTINUE AND I WASNT GOING TO ALLOW OTHERS TO TELL HER THINGS.

SHE RESPONDED TO MY EMAIL AND SAID SHE REALLY WANTED TO HEAR MY STORY. THAT I WAS IMPORTANT AND MY STORY WAS IMPORTANT.

THAT KIND OF FELWED TO ME…I AM NOT USED TO PEOPLE RESPONDING NICELY TO ME. I AM USED TO PEOPLE SAYING GO AWAY, OR GET OVER IT, OR JUST SUCK IT UP AND EAL…

SO THEN TODAY SHE ASKED FOR ME. AND I CAME OUT AND WE TALKED. AND YOU KNOW, I FELT VALIDATED. SECRETLY I WAS GLAD SHE ASKED FOR ME, BUT I’D NEVER ADMIT TO THAT. BUT I WAS REALLY GLAD IT FELT SO GOOD TO BE SEEN.

I FEEL LIKE A SOMEBODY, NOW.

SIRENA AGE 13

Validation from our therapist

“I just want to tell you I got your emails, I had no electricity until last night, I guess I just want you to know I heard you, talk to you on Monday”

She heard us. That is so validating.
She sees us. She hears our words. She sees our desperation.
Thanks, Eileen.

A conversation I need to have today with dr. Barry

I’ll be seeing dr. barry later this afternoon. I need to talk about something thats been on my mind. Last week while Eileen was on vacation I felt really suicidal. To the point that I actually considered taking all of our meds a few times. I wasnt just actively suicidal, I was planning on how to go through with it. I told dr. Barry about how I felt. And we talked about it. But I feel we werent really on the same page. She was all about how I was managing the feelings and coping well with them. And that I hadnt been hospitalised for suicide urges or an attempt since 2014. Yes that is true. But right then, I felt suicidal. I felt like I might go through with it. I didnt want to hear how I was managing or coping. I just wanted my feelings validated. I just needed to be allowed to feel them. I somehow felt like I was disappointing dr. barry by being actively suicidal. I’m sure she’ll tell me that I should feel exactly how I want to feel and that I should not worry about her or how I am making her feel. But I cant help it. I just felt like she wasnt fully understanding my predicament. I felt like she wanted me to be coping. She felt like I was strong, when actually I was weak. I wasnt managing or coping at all. I felt invalidated. And that is what I need to talk to her about today. About how i felt, and how angry it made me feel. I actually felt anger towards dr. barry. And thats a rare thing. I feel like today I need to be honest with her and tell her how I felt. Honesty is a big part of our relationship. Honesty between both of us about things that come up in session. So I will talk to her about it. And hopefully we will work it out.