Still very anxious, bad weather, and more

so i’m still very anxious. the anxiety hasnt lessened at all. i took my night meds, in the hopes that would help some, as there is clonadine in there for the anxiety.

it hasnt helped, although i only took them about 30 minutes ago. i did nap earlier which i was glad about. i got about 90 minutes of sleep. the 90 mins i got was pretty decent sleep.

we’re under a weather advisory tonight and tomorrow and i think on tuesday as well. there is talks of us having hail, sleet and snow showers. i’m not sure if we’ll get it or not but they’re saying we could. i do have therapy in the morning but thats all that i have on tomorrow. so if it is pretty bad at least i can stay home.

i just wish i felt good. i really feel awful. im not liking the feelings this anxiety is bringing up in me. hopefully in therapy tomorrow we can address some of it. i’m sure its more than just one thing causing it.

i had another call today from the weekend team. this morning, a nurse called mary who I also knew from the hospital, when she was a nurse on the ward rang me. she was nice, and she talked me through some stuff. it was a good call, and it did help me to feel a little better.

if i need the weekend team again next weekend i can ring the outpatient clinic during the week and ask for a referral to go in so that they can visit me and call me. i wont be going to my parents house next weekend, so if I get referred to them, they’ll probably come out to my house to visit me.

Well I am going to go watch operation transformation on tv now. I like following it. Its a good show and I will enjoy it and have a coffee while I watch it, as I’m going to be up for a while yet I think.

Feeling better, have calmed down now!

So I’m calmer now. The rage from earlier that I felt has subsided.

I face timed sarah, in colorado, and that helped. We talked for over 2 hours!

It was nice. We commiserated with each other, so I vented all of my anger and got it all out of my system, lol.

Plus I had 2 cups of strong coffee also! I needed the caffeine! I was so annoyed it was not good!

Now my plan is to go watch some tv, I want to watch operation transformation, that I missed last Wednesday because I fell asleep while it was on. Thats on for an hour. I’m a little anxious but am hoping if I sit down in front of the TV and try to wind down that the anxiety and anxious feelings will pass.

I guess we’ll see what happens. I can hope, right?

Tomorrow I can chill out, yay!

So tomorrow is going to be a chill day. I am so relieved! I’ve been so busy lately. I need a day or two to just chill out!

My moms going to come over for an hour or two and I am going to help her with her forms for disability, she says I am good at wording things, she needs to say how her COPD is effecting her life, and she wants me to help her word it correctly.

She’s bringing me lunch, some soup and a sandwich. Its homemade soup yum yum! She’s also cooking some chicken for me and seasoning it with hot korean pepper spices! I love them! I will have that for dinner with a baked potato.

I will have my PA coming in the evening tomorrow. She’ll just do some housework. Other than those two things, I can have a chill day, I will enjoy my relaxation time!

I napped again today, but that is fine, as no plans tomorrow or on thursday, so that gives me a little leeway to get my sleep back in order.

Me and Nitro are enjoying some quiet time now. I watched an episode of my 600 pound life on tv, it was so sad. The lady who was on it was 640 pounds, and she was trying to get weight loss surgery to help her lose some weight. She was only 34 years old.

Then I started watching abducted in plain sight, a documentary on net flicks, a true crime documentary. I only watched half of it, and will watch the other half tomorrow evening.

I will also watch operation transformation tomorrow evening, after my PA leaves. Ok well, I am off to make some tea! Emily wants a cup of tea and then we will read for a little while!

Evil online?

I watch investigation discovery a lot. I was just watching evil online. God its so creepy. This one was about this guy who stalked a teacher, and he told her a bunch of lies, and they met on a beach in florida, and at first they were dating like for 8 months, and then he wrote a ton of post it notes and put them all over her house to say this is too hard and I cant do this and , dont look for me etc etc. but then after 2 years he contacted her again, and he would not give up, kept watching her, showing up where she was etc. anyway he had told her his mom and dad died when he was 12, and that he was adopted, that they’d died in a car crash. turns out he wasnt using his real name at all, and that he’d actually murdered his parents and his 10 year old brother when he was 14. the girl he was stalking went to the police with this info, but all she was able to get was a restraining order, and the police had no power to arrest him, not unless he hurt her in some way, even though she was scared for her life, they could do nothing. anyway, he kept sending horrific emails, evil ones, that threatened this girl, and in the end the police did trace him, and luckily for her they caught him just in time, as he was in georgia when they caught him, in a motel, but he was on his way to her school where she taught second grade, with a gun. god knows what would have happened if she didnt find out about his past, and if the police didnt trace him. she probably wouldnt have been around to live to tell the tale.

I find shows like this so interesting, but my god, it also scares me half to death!

Loving my new apple tv!

I love my new apple tv! I am totally hooked! I’ve been having so much fun with it. Since it arrived yesterday I’ve been busy playing around with it. Its the fourth gen apple tv. Its the one where you can download apps onto it. So I’ve got plenty of things to watch now. I subscribe to amazon prime, net flicks, there is youtube, apple music, then my own tv provider Eir has also started broadcasting its service on apple tv, so all of the channels I get from them are available. I also have the RTE player, RTE is our local broadcaster, I also have the BBC I player which broadcasts the UK TV channels. My smart tv is in my spare bedroom, and my apple tv is connected up in there. I have a bed in there so I can sleep in there if I am watching the TV. Oh I can also read my audio books, on my apple tv. Its fantastic. I found this new service too called Ibox which streams tv channels to people in ireland for 10 euro a month, for that you can stream, record, and rewatch the last 7 days worth of programmes that have been broadcast. I’m so happy I decided to go for the upgrade. The whole thing is also accessible to me with voice over. My sister just had to activate the voice over on the tv for me. I was so thankful to my sis for setting up the tv yesterday. It only took about 30 minutes in total. I definitely recommend it to anyone whose thinking about it. Its well worth the money. Both net flicks and prime are only 7.99 a month each. And most things are on them, between the two platforms you can get most things, along with the other services which are free, it makes for a great viewing experience.

Virus-free. www.avg.com