Someone just shoot me!

Take me away from all this anxiety, please!

Someone rescue me! I hate this! It feels so crappy!

I feel like shit!

I am not. Ok! Not not not!

I am trying things, believe me I am. I just emailed my therapist and am hopeful she’ll respond.

Normally she doesn’t but occasionally she will if she feels its warranted.

Hoping today she does. I need to go to the store soon with my mom for a few things and my anxiety is through th eroof about it.

I don’t feel like I can deal with the crowds of people at the store!

I will go because I have to but I wish I didn’t!

Ug sigh!

Anxious

Woke up anxious. Ug. This sucks.

Woke at 6, couldn’t settle down again so got up.

Still feel really on edge and anxious. And god I hate anxiety.

I think I need to make tea. Mom and dad are still in bed but should be awake soon.

Im really not feeling good this morning.

#whatif prompt 15th september, squirrelly

Today’s prompt:

squirrelly
****
We are feeling so squirelly this morning. We are a little bit agitated. Not sure why.

Just feel a little anci…like, we have ants in our pants.

Have to be doing something, cant sit still at all. Don’t want to sit still.

We feel like our mind is racing, but its not in a bad sorta way. Just feeling edgy, and very restless.

Wonder what I can do to kerb it?

I think maybe I’ll go out to the kitchen and chat with mom. That may help some.

https://whatifweallcared.wordpress.com/2018/09/15/whatif-prompt-for-9-15-18/

mood dip

I feel sort of depressed. I felt it coming on just a few mins ago. My mood dipped all of a sudden. Just out of the blue.

No warning, just down I went. Sigh.

My chest feels tight, I want to curl up and hide. I’m going to take a nice bubble bath. I am hopeful that will help. I also made tea. Tea is my go to thing when I am feeling low.

Maybe its tiredness. I just feel like crap.

I hope it wont last all evening. Its Friday, I should be happy about that.

Poem

Sitting together
Side by side
She listens, she validates
I cry, and shake
I get sucked in to memories
She brings me back
Every so gently
She holds my hand
Rubs my shoulder
Gently she tells me
I am ok
I am strong
I can do this
I take in her words
I try to believe her
Sometimes I cant
I want to, though
I really, really want to believe her words
She is my safety
My security
My world
In her I fully trust
She makes my bad days good
And allows me to feel all of my feelings
Without telling me
You cant feel this or that
You shouldn’t
I am so thankful
To have found such an incredible therapist
In eileen

Not asleep

I am wide awake. Its gone past 2 AM here. Despite my being up at 7:30 this morning, I cant sleep tonight. I cant settle. I read for a while, I read 3 chapters of my book, I’m reading the new cathy glass book. And I love it so far. Now I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel wired. My mind is so full. Full of whirling thoughts. If only I could stop the buzzing. That would feel so good. I may go make a cup of berry tea. That may just do the trick and calm me down. Heres hoping.

I love you, Eileen

A time to talk
To tell of my pain
To talk it out
Before I go insane
I sit, and stare
Hoping it will disappear
But it doesn’t
But…
You are here
Sitting with me
Listening to every word I utter
Not faltering
Not running away
You are here
Telling me to keep on going
That I am doing great
And I appreciate you very very much
You are my rock
My safe secure person
In whom I can trust
So now, now I can talk
Talk about the hard stuff
I can do it
Because I have you
Thank you, Eileen
You are such an amazing strength to me

Lisa