this morning I will see my OT Mark. Its an early apt. I will have to leave at 7:45 to get there for 8:10.
We me and Mark are going to work on defining my goals for the next few months. Well this mornings apt is just a starting point, losely defining my goals.
After seeing Mark I will be seeing dr. barry. I hope I dont have to wait for too long, I’ll finish up with Mark around 9 and dr. barry is usually in by 9:30.
I wonder if she’ll add any more of my meds back this week? I’m sure we’ll have a lot to talk about, we ususally do.
i’m thankful for my coffee. where would I be without it?
I slept well. I went to bed around midnight. It took me a while to drop off to sleep but when I did I slept ok. i did wake up once but that was all.
Now I am sitting here enjoying my cup of coffee and the nice fan blowing cool air on me. Its another hot hot day here in ireland today. Thank god I dont have to go out in it.
I was supposed to be volunteering today but I told them I wouldnt be coming in because I thought I’d have the assessment today for that respite place so I canceled my volunteering shift.
I have a busy day tomorrow so its nice to spend today at home. Tomorrow I see dr. barry, and I am going to the basement club as well.
I CANT TALK IN THERAPY TODAY, I CANT I CANT I FEEL UNSAFE I WANT TO TALK REALLY I DO BUT I FEEL SO UNSAFE LIZ SAYS EILEEN IS OK AND TRUSTWORTHY AND SAFE I THINK SHE IS I’VE SEEN HER TALKING TO LIZ AND TO OTHERS IN MY SYSTEM INSIDE BUT I AM SO NERVOUS I THINK I HAVE A NO TALK PROGRAMME BEING ACTIVATED I JUST FEEL SO SCARED…
What was the last book you read?
I’m currently reading did you hear me crying by cassie moore. Its a true memoir about an irish child abuse survivor. Its good, I am liking it, I’m not all the way through it yet though.
I’m wondering how it will go. I tried to do some preparation for it. That did not go over too good. Someone inside doesnt want to prepare, they just want to go and see where the session will take us. Thats pretty much what we’ve been doing the past few weeks. All of the past few sessions have been very intense. Lots of processing getting done. I guess thats good, I mean it is, not I guess it is, but its also so scary to me. I however havent really been part of the last couple of sessions, its the darks like liz, wendy, pixie, willow, and a few new insiders who are farther back that have had the entire sessions. I am thinking tomorrow will be more of the same. Or a similar senario. I’m ok with that. I guess I was just wanting to write out some notes. Its ok if I cant, though. I’m good with that too.
today, I bonded some with my mom. Our relationship hasnt always been the best mother daughter kind of relationship. WE’ve struggled to maintain a positive relationship over the years.
its gotten a lot better though these last 3 or 4 years. for that I am so grateful.
today we spent quality time together talking, laughing, and most importantly having fun. And I know she is there for me no matter what, she cares, she loves me like a mom should.
Thanks, mom. I love you