Getting ready for respite

well my morning has been ok. i spent a long time packing for respite. mom helped me which was nice. we packed my bag, there was so much to remember. i have all of nitros food and bowls and stuff as well as my own stuff to pack. my dad took nitro out walking while me and mom were packing. so he’s a happy camper now that he’s had a long walk. i, on the other hand am not feeling great, as mentioned in an earlier post. not just mentally, but physically too. i ended up taking two paracetamol because i felt all achy. plus i had a bit of a headache as well. they worked because now my headache is gone. i am feeling a lot perkier than i was when i got up this morning. now to tackle the mental anguish. it is not easy, but i am trying. thats all i can do. my emotions are running rampant though. i am flip flopping between intense sadness, intense grief, and intense anger. i hate ptsd. its a bloody nightmare. i just wish i didnt have it, life would be so much easier.