When you just. need. your. therapist

We got really triggered last night. So much so that we rang our therapist. She wasnt available. I thought as much when I picked up the phone to call her. She lectures on a Monday evening. So I just left a jumbled message, telling her we were triggered, and needed to hear her voice, we needed to connect with her. About 30 minutes later she called me. And we talked. And it felt so good and so reassuring. She couldnt talk for long, she was going to her class. But she told me I could call her today and we could have more time then to discuss things. Only that didnt work out either. I had to go see my doctor at the time we were meant to talk. She and I texted back and forth for a little bit. But we never really got to talk. I told her I’d be ok and I could wait until Thursday at our regular session time. The truth is though I feel needy. Like I was counting on talking to her today. Getting some things out. And I didnt and I feel child like and vulnerable and sad. Small, and disappointed. Its nobodys fault things just didnt work out. So why do I feel like life is going against me? Like maybe I’m meant to keep all the bad stuff inside? Like I shouldnt share it with anyone? Not even my therapist who I really trust?