Tag: therapist as mother

its allie. well my long name is alicia, but my friends and other people either call me allie or licia or lish or trouble hahahah.
i’m feelin sad tonight. i realy want to know if eileen is safe. i worry that she isnt. specially with all the bad stuff going on on the news.
i was going to text her tonight. but carol anne said no. then that made me mad. because i dont like when the bigs here make rules stupid rules that we gotta follow.
so then i had a melt down. those melt downs arent pretty. i broke some things. i threw my stuffed animals all over the room. i turned a couple of drawers up side down and all of my art supplies and stickers and stuff fell onto the floor. i didnt care. it felt good to release the anger.
the room was a huge mess though after my outburst. i couldnt clean it. i was crying too hard.
i needed a hug from eileen. i needed her to tell me its ok, and i am safe. and she is here. carol anne says i need to talk to her on the phone this thursday. tell her what I did.
i guess i can do that
sometimes i hate myself for being so needy and clingy and a baby and wanting eileen and dr. barry to adopt me and be my forever mom. the pain is unbearable and every part of my body physically hurts.
i just feel like crap tonight.