Tiring thursday

its been a tiring day. i didnt get up to much today, i had a day at home. i planned on going to the basement club tomorrow, but then earlier I recieved a text to say the centre is closing due to staff shortages its closing at 12:30. So it wouldnt be worth my while going in. I should have gone in today. I decided to go to my parents house tonight. So I am here now. Temps here in ireland today are about 26 C. So quite hot. I am constantly sweating. Dont get me wrong, I love our summer weather and am grateful for it but the heat is a little too severe for me and I find it hard to cope. Mom and me are deciding where we will go on saturday, just thw two of us. We’re thinking of going to a town called kinsale. Its a nice little tourist town in co. cork. I queried bus times today. We’ll probably bring a picnic and spend the day there. My sister was texting me yesterday, she’s having a terrific holiday in spain. She told me she was at the beach with the kids. She has another full week to go as she doesnt get home until next wednesday. I was a little bit naughty this evening and had a frozen pizza for dinner. I never usually eat frozen pizza, rarely if ever actually. I just fancied it tonight. I’m sure it wont do me too much harm though, but it definitely isnt on my plan. Well thats about it from here. I’d better go and maybe read for a while or watch some tv. Hope your all having a great day.
carol anne

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Back to the basement club

I did it. Today I went back to the basement club. After not being there for almost a month, it was kinda weird to just arrive back in there, but as usual, all of the members were just amazing. So accepting, they were just their awesome supportive selves. I went in after seeing dr. barry and Mark. I got there for around 10:30. We had a meeting that was scheduled for 11 AM, a big meeting about all of the changes taking place. It was good to go to it. Good to catch up with colette, too. Colette is leaving on the 27th, and since she’s been my mentor for the last 5 years, it was good to catch up with her and talk to her about where she’s moving on to etc. I also met one of the new staff members, she is very nice. She was friendly and seemed supportive and like she’d be a good fit for the centre. There are two more new staff starting in early August. I spoke a little at the meeting, just to say I was upset about Colette leaving, and that I hadnt come in recently due to anxiety and being upset. I felt it was important that I spoke. After the meeting I had coffee with a couple of the members. We just chatted about things like the weather, their kids, dogs etc. Then I spent some quiet time in the quiet room. I needed a little bit of space to myself after the meeting, which was super intense. I had booked a taxi to pick me up at 3:45 but then everyone went home around 2 PM, except 1 or 2 people, so I decided then to call it a day and go home too. So here I am now, at home, reflecting on my day. I plan on going in again tomorrow and spending the day in there. I’m proud of myself for biting the bullet and going in there today. I know I did a good thing for my mental health. And I’m also happy that I spoke to colette on her own, and met the new staff member as well.
carol anne

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Thankful for coffee

i’m thankful for my coffee. where would I be without it?

I slept well. I went to bed around midnight. It took me a while to drop off to sleep but when I did I slept ok. i did wake up once but that was all.

Now I am sitting here enjoying my cup of coffee and the nice fan blowing cool air on me. Its another hot hot day here in ireland today. Thank god I dont have to go out in it.

I was supposed to be volunteering today but I told them I wouldnt be coming in because I thought I’d have the assessment today for that respite place so I canceled my volunteering shift.

I have a busy day tomorrow so its nice to spend today at home. Tomorrow I see dr. barry, and I am going to the basement club as well.

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Making my mental health a priority

I havent dropped into the basement club in a while. For newer followers, the basement club is a drop in centre for people with mental illnesses that I used to go to a lot. Recently though I feel I’ve been neglecting my mental health. I’ve been making other things my priority. I’m going to change that this next week, though. I’m going to make it a priority to go in there 3 days next week, the centre is closed on monday and tuesday, but on wednesday, thursday and friday I am going to go in. No more putting it off in place of other things. Its time to look after my wellbeing. Being in there makes me feel good. I feel accepted. I feel like its a place where I fit in and where I belong. I feel supported when I am in there and it makes me feel good about myself too as I am being a support to others who go in there.
some big changes have happened and I feel I need to be part of those and if I dont go in then I am not part of them and I wont know what is going on in there.
Luckily there is one friend who updates me via email, and I do get texts from them too, but its not the same as going in there and seeing first hand what is going on.
So off in I will go on wednesday after my apt with dr. barry.

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bloom 2018

we had an awesome day yesterday at bloom.
we got th e 9:30 AM train to dublin, it takes about 3 hours to get there. we slept a little bit on the train. there was a group of 16 of us going to the festival.
when we got there we took a shuttle bus to the place where it was on, it was a courtesy shuttle bus. it was packed, we barely got a seat on the bus.
when we first got there we went to our garden stand and the executive director of shine who runs the basement club presented us with flowers and we took photos.
then we had lunch, there was a lot of places selling food, i had brought my own packed lunch though. most of the others bought their lunch.
we sat on the grass eating it. it was really warm and it was lovely to just sit on the grass and eat our lunch.
after lunch we went walking around and looked at the different gardens that were there. there were hundreds of flowers, craft shows, fashion shows, and food stalls there. it was lovely. it was very packed though so i’m so glad i didnt bring nitro with me.
after our walk around we sat down and had ice cream cones. it was delicious. i allowed myself to have a treat and bought myself a cone with sprinkles and a chocolate flake in it. mmmm i thoroughly enjoyed that.
the president of ireland was there and he gave a speech and then he went around looking at each garden, when he came to ours he stopped and said how important mental health was and how important it was to get the conversation going about it. we got photos taken with him which was very special.
we left the flower show at 4 pm to go get the bus back to the train station. when we got outside the line to get on the bus was huge, like, there was about 250 people in front of us to get on it. but we did manage to get on a bus and we barely got back and made the 5 PM train to get home.
th e journey home seemed longer than the journey to get there. but isnt that always the way?
the food cart on the train ran out of coffee, i was bummed, i got a cold drink instead and a nice danish pastry, so i had that as another treat, i’ll have to do extra exercise this week to make up for it.
we finally got home around 8 pm, i was wrecked. i came home, watched a little bit of tv, made a cup of coffee, and drank that. went to bed at 10 pm and slept through the entire night until 10 30 this morning.
it was a great day though. i had a lot of fun and would definitely go again.

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good morning

got about 4 hours of sleep again last night. my alarm went off at six and i hit snooze until 7. then reluctantly I got up.
and now its not even 7:30 yet and I’m dressed and sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea.
so organised, way to go.
I’m going to be leaving for the train at 8:30. provided my taxi shows up on time. I really hope it will.
dont fancy being late to the train station.
Not sure what the weathers like outside, I think I heard rain during the night, but I could be wrong on that front. Here’s hoping.

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Relaxed

that is how i feel. chill, very very chill.
im enjoying a nice cuppa. i already took a nice hot shower. i miss nitro, the house is so quiet without him.
i can still hear the birds outside chirping away, at almost 10 PM.
My mood is good. More than good actually, I feel very very happy tonight.
long may it last!
Looking forward to going to bloom tomorrow. I’ve an early start. I have to make a 9:30 AM train, we’re all meeting at the train station at 9 AM.
i’ve been very organised, i made up a packed lunch, so i wouldnt have to buy any food while i am there, as they’ll probably only have very unhealthy foods to choose from.
its going to be a very full day. i wont get home until 9 Pm tomorrow night.
i’m sure i’ll be exhausted by then. as for tonight, its probable i wont sleep. i have the im not tired thing going on right now.

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