I’m fighting a battle. I’m not ok. This time of year really sucks for us!
I am so emotional. So fragile. I feel so raw, so unsure of myself.
I just want to run away! I am struggling so much right now! I cant do this!
I really am not feeling ok. I just, feel…overwhelmed!
This poem is so good! I can really relate to it.
Some may have spent more time in the fire than others, but…
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“You aren’t special.
Everyone, every damn person
that’s ever lived,
has licked the flames of hell
at some point
and returned in singed shreds.
The real question
I’d like an answer to is this:
are you using your pain as an excuse
or as a source of strength?
-Marisa B Crane”
SO TONIGHT I WATCHED A GREAT SHOW ON NETFLIX IT WAS CALLED WOMEN BEHIND BARS I ONLY WATCHED ONE EP BUT IN THE EP I WATCHED THERE WAS A WOMAN WHO WAS 18 WHEN SHE SHOT HER DAD BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN ABUSING HER FOR 10 YEARS
THE JURY GAVE HER LIFE WITHOUT PAROL
HOW IS THAT JUSTICE?
I KNOW YOU JUST CANT GO AROUND KILLING PEOPLE BUT FUCKING HELL HE SEXUALLY ABUSED HER AND BEAT AND TORTURED AND RAPED HER FOR 10 FUCKING YEARS. HER DAD, HER OWN DAD.
AND THEN THE JUSTICE SYSTEM FAILED her TO
SHE IS STILL IN JAIL NOW AND SHE’S 41 I THINK
I’VE OFTEN THOUGHT I’D LIKE TO KILL MY ABUSERS IF I COULD I WOULD I SO WOULD DO IT
SO ABUSERS YOU PRICKS AND ASSHOLES WATCH OUT
I survived the pain
I survived it all
I didnt fall
Instead I will fly
I will fly free
and Be free to be me
all i seem to do is survive. when can i start to thrive? when can i be done with just surviving? when will the war be over? my therapist says its already over. i dont feel it though. i still feel the need to be in survival mode. peace doesnt seem real to me, it doesnt seem like i have the option of freedom or peace. my world is full of triggers, my senses are constantly on high alert. there are trigger dates around every corner, pulling me backwards into the past. so how then am i supposed to thrive, when i have to try to survive these triggers? just some ponderings, not sure i’ll ever find the ansers.
It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.