sitting here, wide awake. drinking tea. trying hard not to cry. feeling so lousy. woke up feeling low. very very low. was dreaming, but now cant remember what the dream was about, just know it was unpleasant. why cant I have good dreams? its only 2 AM, maybe I’ll read for a while. Or I might watch funny youtube videos. That always cheers me up. If anyones up I could use some support.