Working on us week 16 passive suicidal ideation

This week I again participate in Beckys working on us prompt.

This weeks topic is passive suicidal ideation. For anyone, the difference between passive and suicidal ideation is essentially I wish I was dead (passive) vs. I want to kill myself (active).

Prompt #1

Write a narrative about yourself and/or someone you know that is believed to think Passive Suicidal Ideation

I have suffered from this. I still do. I go from passive, to active, and then back to passive. I think its like that for a lot of people actually. For me the passive part of it is the scary part. When your in active SI you have the energy to do something, to actually go through with it. When your passively thinking about it, it seems to be far worse. At least, thats how it is for me anyway. Wishing I was dead, wishing I didnt exist, wishing I wasnt around any more, that feels awful and scary to me. even though at the time I am wishing it and thinking it, I dont seem to really care one way or another.

I am glad I havent had any SI thoughts in a while. Not bad ones. I’ve had fleating thoughts every so often, but nothing major, I am so thankful for that much.

Having support while your suicidal is the best thing. Getting help, reaching out that is the most important thing I think. Talking about it, not being afraid to ask someone if they are thinking about suicide or feeling suicidal, that is the only way to end the stigma of suicide.