Krista: I feel so much shame

its krista. in case you all don’t remember, i’m 11 years old.
right now I feel so so bad. my head hurts so much.
ive been out for a while, and I am trying not to go on the internet, and go into chatrooms. I know I shouldn’t do it. I really wish I didn’t think about sex so much.
I really don’t want to think about it. but it happens. I do. I feel so ashamed. I feel terrible and so bad about myself!
why cant I feel good about my body? why do I hate it so much?
I didn’t ask to be hurt! men hurt me and I didn’t want it!
but they didn’t care! they didn’t care how I felt or what happened to me!
they just wanted to do what they were doing and it didn’t matter how I felt.
it hurts! I am feeling so much shame about what they did!
I also feel ashamed about the fact that I still let people do things to me sexually even if its just on the internet!
why cant I be more like my twin kira! she would never talk about sex or do sexual stuff with anyone!
Eileen said kira had me to protect her and she depended on me and I was the one who was outspoken and kira wasn’t and so now she’s shy and timid and afraid and I am not and she said how it was very creative for us to split like we did!
I am so glad I will see Eileen tomorrow!
I need to talk to her so bad!
right now I am going to try to do something other than go in a chatroom! maybe I can find a good tv show or listen to some music!
is anyone around? if you are maybe you’d leave me a nice comment!
thanks guys! ❤ ❤

krista age 11

Novas random word of the day: transmitted

ice cold
numb to the bone
feelings transmitted
i feel so alone
shaking, quaking
long sharp breath
exhaling
fear grips me
oh, shit
i cant see
now what do I do?
feeling, stuck
Just like glue?
Where to go from here?
Oh, who cares!
Its all the same
Isolated, feeling ashamed
Dont know why
All I want to do is cry!

http://mynamaste365online.blog/2019/08/13/ndrw-71/

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The scars on your face, the pain when you smile and the shame in your eyes – it is temporary 🙏

 

Read on for some inspirational words! ❤

via The scars on your face, the pain when you smile and the shame in your eyes – it is temporary 🙏

Never be ashamed to feel…

Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a ‘hot mess’ or having ‘too many issues’ are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.
Anthon St. Maarten

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#whatif prompt 8-3-2018

Today’s prompt over at what if we all cared is:

enough

****
enough pain
enough shame
to last a life time
wonder when
it will no longer be
part of me
or part
of my day
or
world?
https://whatifweallcared.wordpress.com/2018/08/03/whatif-prompt-for-8-3-18/

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