Book review: Did you hear me crying? By Cassie Moore

I just finished this book. I thought it was a very good book, very sad though, and very graphic in places, so if your triggered by talk of abuse or details about abuse and acts of violence, then this book might not be for you.
Cassie grew up in ireland. She survived physical, sexual and emotional abuse at the hands of her stepdad and her mother. At just 16 she was sold into marriage by them.
I wont spoil the rest of the book, but it was a page turner, thats for sure.
the book is available on kindle, on audible, and in paperback.
Book description is below.

Author: Cassie Moore
Title: Did you hear me crying?

In this shocking memoir, Cassie Moore gives a very open and honest description of how she suffered and survived a lifetime of abuse. She describes the sexual, physical and emotional abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather and mother, who then sold her into marriage at the age of 16; the heartbreak she suffered when she naively left her 22 month old baby behind when she fled to London with the man she fell in love with, only to be abused by him for a further 23 years; the self-loathing, depression and despair she felt during those lonely years; and the enormous sacrifices she had to make to save herself and start a new life.

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Blog share. Brain games, no winner

This is a beautiful new blog and blogger to me, they write about their experiences of mental health, and life in general, go over, say hey, check out the blog, give them a follow, its well worth it!
http://braingamesnowinner.wordpress.com/

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Well um this makes me think?

Some may have spent more time in the fire than others, but…

Image may contain: text
“You aren’t special.
Everyone, every damn person
that’s ever lived,
has licked the flames of hell
at some point
and returned in singed shreds.
The real question
I’d like an answer to is this:
are you using your pain as an excuse
or as a source of strength?
-Marisa B Crane”

POETRY

YOU LOOK ME OVER
I SHUDDER
I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING
I KNOW WHAT YOU’LL DO NEXT
YOU INSTRUCT ME
TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES
I OBEY
SCARED AND FRIGHTENED
ALONE AND WITH NO ONE TO HELP ME
I SHUDDER AGAIN
WHEN WILL THIS NIGHTMARE END
I DO WHATYOU SAY
BECAUSE ITS JUST EASIER THAT WAY
BUT INSIDE
I’M CRYING
DYING
CRINGING
FEELING DEAD
SEEING RED
WANT TO END IT
WANT TO QUIT
YOU DO THE DEED
THE PAIN, I FEEL
THEN YOU LEAVE
AND I START TO HEAVE
VOMITING EVERYWHERE
I CANT BEAR
TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST DID
OR THAT I’M JUST A KID

TO MY ABUSER

I HATE YOU I FUCKING DESPISE YOU YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME MY INNOCENCE MY CHILDHOOD MY DREAMS MY HOPES BUT THERE IS ONE THING YOU DID NOT TAKE MY SPIRIT YOU COULD NEVER TAKE THAT SO GO TO HELL AND I HOPE YOU FEEL THE PAIN I FELT SOME DAY YOU DESERVE IT
PIXIE

A victim of sexual abuse

Tears are always running down my face
I hang my head low thinking “what a disgrace?”
The tears are coming from all the damage you caused
What do you want now, a round of applause?

I’ve watched you rape and molest me right before my eyes
Now the only thing left to do is cry
You stole my virginity without my consent
PLEASE tell me why this is the way it went

All I wanted was for you to get off of me
But getting you off of me just wasn’t that easy
You hit me in my face then ripped my shirt
Then you pushed it in to the point where it hurt

I remember it like it was yesterday
Answer this, will I ever forget about this and be okay?
The thoughts are crucial & all I can do is cry
Sometimes I just think then ask myself “why didn’t I die?”

The bastard didn’t care if I lived or if I died
All he cared about was being satisfied
I feel dirty, I feel low, I feel used
I’ll always know that I’m a victim of sexual abuse!

Why?

Today I ask why

Why that man picked me

Yes Im asking why

Why could he not see

The pain and the suffering

That he would cause for me

Its just one thing after another

Its this nasty mind of mine

Memory after memory

You were way out of line

Why sir did you break me

For your own delight

Made me a target for others

Whos minds were not right

Wrong enough to hurt me

Until I couldnt take much more

Made myself a family

And to others shut the door

I have my help my system

Always there to say

Come on we can do It

Several times a day

You dont know how you scared me

Each time you came near

Even hurt me now

Enough to shed a tear

Today I really hate you

For that I dont ask why

I know its cause your sick inside

And you fucked a child dry

I cried til i could cry no more

After what you did

I cried because you made me hurt

In your perverse desperate bid

Your bid to fulfill your fantasy

Without any thought

No thought for my feelings

And from that you taught

Taught me to be tough

Not take any shit

Say no to perverts

Sick and twisted dicks

I hope you die you bastard

And I hope it hurts like fuck

Oh and I just want you to know

That what you did fucking sucks.

FUCK YOU!!!

LIZ