Rock bottom

swirling and spinning

quickly downward

nothing to grip onto

the hole seems endless

yet i have a sense of rock bottom

and i think im about to hit it

i brace myself for the collision

but i am tugged away by voices

my mind can’t prepare

and combat hallucinations

enter the flashbacks

on top of the voices

memories stabbing my heart

suddenly i hit the ground

the fall is hard

my arms out to brace myself

now bleed in a self injurious way

this is the bottom

its a familiar place

i’ve been here many times before

and i know that unless i get help

the right sort of help

i’ll be here again

Carol anne age 19