Fowc: My partner

I havent talked to my partner jess in weeks. I wish I could. I have tried calling her. But the facility she’s at they dont seem to answer the phone. I guess I’ll just have to keep on trying until someone answers it. I get disheartened though. I’m sure she thinks I dont care, or I cant be bothered to call. Nothing is further from the truth. I miss her so much. I miss all of their system. Its hard though when she’s in that residential facility. Things have changed so much, our relationship has changed so much. She’s been there almost 5 years now. 5 long years. Thats a long time. And honestly? I dont know if she’s ever coming out of there. I just dont know. She doesnt know either. Part of me thinks she wont. Its very tough to see her be in there. Our kids dont understand why their mommy, because jess was a mom to them, they just dont understand why they cant see her, talk to her, hear her read to them. Its heartbreaking. I hope we get to talk soon. I just miss our long talks, where we’d put the world to rights. Our deep conversations. I miss those.


Book review: Through a mothers tears by Cathy broomfield

I just finished an amazing book, by a wonderful author, Cathy broomfield. She wrote a memoir, about losing not one, but two daughers.
One of her daughters was murdered by her husband, and the other one, died of heartbreak after losing her little sister.
Its a shocking account, and heartbreaking. However Cathy is raw, and very honest, and I have to say it moved me, the details of her daughter Kirstys murder are shocking though, not for the faint hearted, so do be aware of that if you read this book.
Its a pretty short read, in audio its just over 3 and a half hours in length. I read it in one sitting.
I was hooked right from the start!
Its available in audio from audible, on kindle, and in paperback from all good bookstores or from amazon.
I will put a description of the book below. Please do check it out.

Book description:

Cathy Broomfields youngest daughter, Kirsty, disappeared, Cathy hoped she had gone to stay with friends, to escape her brutal and bullying husband. But as the days passed with no word from Kirsty, a loving daughter who spoke to her mum every day, Cathy became increasingly anxious…until the day the police arrived at her door to tell her they had found a body. Her worst fears had been realised.

Through a Mothers Tears is the poignant and heartbreaking story of how Cathy lost not only Kirsty, her youngest daughter, but Kirstys big sister, Hayley, who died of heartbreak when the agony of her baby sisters loss became too much to bear. This harrowing audiobook will appeal to listeners of The Hospital and Cathy Glass.

bookblogger, abuse, domestic violence, healing, loss]


Its our birthday today!

Well its officially our birthday. We’re 39 today! Omg 39!
I feel so old!
I’m going away with mom for the weekend, we’re off to Killarney in Co. Kerry!
It is going to be so much fun! Just the two of us, a mom daughter weekend away together, something we havent done at all in my adult life!
It is something that I’ve always longed to do, and since our relationship got stronger, and better, I am now very happy that we’re finally doing it!
Our birthday is often filled with bad memories, and is often very hard. And a couple years we’ve been in hospital for it. Not this year though!
This year we’re going to make it fun!
So, my plan is to totally enjoy the day! happy birthday to us!


3 things challenge

Todays prompt: chemistry, blanket, mailbox

wrapping her arms around herself like a blanket
walking out into the cool brisk air
she walks to the mail box
softly singing a tune
would it be there?
The letter from him?
would she feel the chemistry between them
When she picked it up
And read the words?
She skipped lightly down the sidewalk
And when she got to the mailbox
to her huge surprise
Instead of the letter she’d been expecting
There he was
Tall dark and handsome
Gosh he was so handsome
There he was
Waiting, and as they embraced
He smiled, she smiled
The happiest smile
On earth


I spoke to my partner

After a month or so without talking to her, we finally got to talk on skype. Well I called her. She’s ok, but she was having a lot of trouble with her words, I think it was due to her meds, she couldn’t quite say what she wanted to say to me, she was having a lot of trouble stringing sentences together.
For those who aren’t aware, my partner jess, lives in a psychiatric residential unit, she’s been there since 2015. I am so sad that she has to be there. She was meant to be going on a home visit this weekend but her mom got sick so she couldn’t go. She was quite upset about it when we talked.
She was delighted I called her though. It was so good to talk to her. I miss her so much. I think of her every day. I would anyway, but well she thought I didn’t. I told her I do. I wake up, and i think of her. I wonder how she is, what she’s doing etc.
I told her to go switch on her phone and we can text. Her phone wasn’t working for a while. It is now again though. So if she switches it on we can text and facetime using our phones. That will be good.
I’m happy now. I can go to bed happy tonight.

Question of the day

What is one special memory that you cherish?

For me its anything I’ve done recently with my family!
We do a lot of activities together, and I cherish all of them.
I love spending time with my relatives. They’re all half crazy hahaha but I love them all.
How about you?


Mom visited

So mom came over. She just rang me and said she’d come over. She wanted to cut my grass. The weathers been so mild the past couple of months that the grass is still growing a lot. So right now she’s outside cutting it. So sweet of her to do it for me since she has COPD and her breathing gets bad. I am so grateful to her, otherwise I’d have to pay someone to come in and cut my grass for me.
I’ll be going to my friend Normas house today in the afternoon, so I said I’d drop her back home, I can get the taxi to drop her off. She also cleaned my yard, cleaned nitros poop for me.
We also sat and had a cup of tea and chatted a little. That was nice. The kids are wishing that she’d recognise them though, but she doesnt, well she sorta does, but she doesnt call them by name, but she occasionally does something out of character that tells us she knows its kids and not an adult whose present.
Our relationship has gotten so much better though. Its way better now than it was 3 or four years ago. So many improvements in it. I am so grateful for that.