Craptastic day

things are still very hard around here. my anxiety is so bad and i feel so overwhelmed. i tried to do things today and act normal. i managed to go out with my mom and sister and my sisters kids. we went to the pantomime, aladdin. the show was good and it did help distract me for a while.
the weekend team got in touch with me today. one of the nurses Jessica phoned me. i knew her because she used to be a nurse in the hospital before she moved jobs to the weekend team. i didnt much like her and i dont think she is a good nurse. i just told her what i thought she wanted to hear. i didnt feel she was helpful and would be able to help me in any way. she said she’d call again tomorrow morning. i was like ok whatever. i plan on telling dr. barry on monday that she was not very good and it felt as if i didnt really have any support from her.
my goal was basically just to get through today which i managed to do successfully. i am happy about that. tomorrow afternoon i plan on visiting my friend norma. she is blind and has mental health issues so i will be able to talk to her about things.
my pa came this morning too. i told her about going into hospital this week. she said she’d visit me while i am in there. that will be good as my mom can only visit if my sister drops her as she doesnt drive and she has COPD and can barely walk so i probably wont see much of her while I am an inpatient.
i hope i can get through the rest of the weekend. right now its just the anxiety and overwhelm thats pretty bad. i dont have any thoughts of suicide or self harm. i am taking that an hour at a time though as things can change for me pretty quickly.