ANGER MISPLACED

FEEL SO PISSED OFF!

PISSED AT DR. BARRY. SHE SAID MY ANGER WAS MISPLACED. I DIDNT WANNA HEAR THAT.

SHE HAS JUST MADE ME SUPER MAD!

I WANT TO SCREAM! BECAUSE, BECAUSE, I KNOW SHE IS RIGHT!

WHY IS SHE ALWAYS RIGHT!
DAMN! DAMN!
LIZ

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spoofer!

omg guys i am beyond frustrated. so i run a group on groups.io. for people with did and trauma related issues. well we have a spoofer on there. how they got there i dont know. they are sending messages or they were, that looked like they were coming from me, and two other members, of course they were not from us at all. but it looked like they were. horrible nasty messages. upset a lot of people on the list and triggered the hell out of me. just to think that someone was saying things like deal with it get over the trauma and get off your arses and acting like i said them well that sent us into a downward spiral. i was going to get rid of them if it was the last thing i did. so while i was awake last night i looked into their IP addy. they are from singapore, and they sent the messages using a blackberry phone. i was able to figure out that much with the help of a friend. so first i changed my groups.io password and my google password. then i told all my group members to do the same. you see i think what really happened is one of our accounts was compramised. because i know all of the members on the list, i am familiar with all of their email addys and no one new joined recently so no unfamiliar email addresses are on the list. so anyway. after changing my passwords and figuring this shitheads IP out i was stumped. now what. so i then had to put my entire list on moderated status. for now. until this dies down. because this morning another message had come through looking like it was from my email address. and it said well guys have you all gotten over your trauma yet? and a few other cruel things that i cant quite remember. so now the list is moderated, it means i have to approve every message first. before they can go through. that should solve things i hope. i really really hope so. its a lot of extra work for me but if it fixes things then i will leave it thatw ay for a while. just until i know the spoofer is gone. for good. fuckhead. dick. fucktard, yes he is. ok it could be a she too i guess. but anyway. so am pissed. totally pissed. you shoulda seen me earlier, spazing out. freaking the hell out all night. just unable to come up with a solution. then i finally did. so thats been my day. happy freakin day and heres to idiot spoofers.
carol anne

ITS LIZ AND IM HURT

OK SO I AM HURTING AND SAD AND FEELING FUCKING AWFUL. YES. AND I’D LIKE TO KNOW WHY PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING INSENSITIVE.
THAT DUDE BANNING CAROL ANNE. HE THINKS HE IS GOD.
HE’S ACTING ALL POWERFUL JUST CAUSE HE OWNS A FUCKING EMAIL LIST.
DAMN IT ANYWAY. WORDS HURT. SEEING EMAILS THAT ARENT MEANT FOR US TO SEE THAT TALK ABOUT US AND ARE DEROGATORY FUCKING HURTS.
I AM PISSED. BEYOND PISSED.
IT MAKES ME WANT TO GRAB A STEAK KNIFE OUT OF THE KITCHEN AND CUT UP OUR ARMS.
JUST BECAUSE I AM HURTING, AND I CANT THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE TO DO INSTEAD.
SO I AM REACHING OUT HERE FOR SUPPORT. AND I THINK PEOPLE SHOULD BLOODY THINK BEFORE THEY SPEAK. BUT THATS ASKING TOO MUCH I GUESS.
IS ANYONE AROUND?
LIZ

GO FUCK YOURSELF, abuser

YES YOU, GO TAKE A RUNNING JUMP, OFF A BRIDGE, TAKE A HIKE, FUCK OFF, DONT BOTHER ME, I AM NOT HERE FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, I AM NOT HERE FOR YOU TO PLAY MIND GAMES WITH. YOU HAVE NO IDEA DO YOU? NO, AND YOU DONT CARE. YOU ARE SELFISH. YOU ARE HEARTLESS. YOU SPEW YOUR VENUM WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT FOR THOSE IN THE FIRING LINE. WELL. JUST FUCK OFF. LEAVE US BE. SPREAD YOUR HATE ELSEWHERE. WE ARE NOT LISTENING ANY MORE.
LIZ

THIS GIRL IS AY OK

DONT WORRY GUYS. I AM OK. I AM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING RASH. I JUST NEEDED TO SPILL MY GUTS ABOUT HOW I FELT. THATS ALL. I AM OK THOUGH HONEST.

I JUST NEEDED AN OUTLET. SOMEWHERE TO VENT. AND MY BLOG IS MY PERSONAL VENT SPACE. FOR US ALL IT IS OUR SPACE TO BE COMPLETELY US. COMPLETELY REAL AND RAW AND HONEST.

SO YEAH, IT SUCKS TO BE ME RIGHT NOW. I AM NOT LIKING IT ONE LITTLE BIT. I JUST WANNA SAY STOP THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD BECAUSE I WANNA GET OFF.

BUT HEY, TOMORROWS A NEW DAY AND ALL THAT JAZZ? WHATEVA!

FOR TONIGHT, I NEED TO JUST SIT, WOOPS I NEARLY WROTE I NEED TO JUST SHIT, ROFL OK I AM HILARIOUS HHAHAAHAHA, BUT REALLY I NEED TO JUST SIT AND BREATHE.

NIGHT PEEPS
LIZ

Virus-free. www.avast.com

if we were having coffee

if we were having coffee, i’d tell you i’m almost out of coffee. when i went to make mine just now, the jar was almost empty. i’d tell you i put four sweeteners into my coffee. i’m trying to avoid sugar, and before anyone says so, i do realise sweeteners are worse than sugar. the real reason i use sweeteners instead of sugar is because i am blind, and when i spoon the sugar into my coffee i spill so much of it, with sweeteners, you just pop them out of the container and plop in they go into the coffee. i’d tell you that i am bored. i have been watching tv to try and entertain myself. i watched britains got talent tonight. there were three very good singers on it. 2 14 year olds and a 15 year old. the 15 year old was a boy and he had been on the show three years ago when he was just 12 and one of the judges told him he wasnt good enough and to go get a singing teacher. today, he proved him wrong! he sang halaluiyah and he put his whole heart into his performance. and you know what happened? not only did he get through to the next round, but the judge who told him before that he wasnt good enough gave him the golden buzzer which means he’s straight through to the semi finals of the show! he was so thrilled and i was thrilled for him. if we were having coffee i would tell you that my sister has gone to her partners sisters house in kilkenny. thats a drive of about 2 hours away from where we live. her partners sisters little boy is making his communion tomorrow. there are lots of children making their communion this month. may is usually the month for making your communion. if we were having coffee i would also tell you that i am watching this talk show on tv right now. there was a lady on it talking about smart phones and how no child under 14 should have one. i agree with her. most kids nowadays have a tablet or a phone or something that has internet. i dont think its good for them. i our day, you’d think i’m old lol i guess i am at 37, but in our day, there was no internet. children went outside to play. we played with wooden toys. with dolls and stuffed animals. with lego. with skipping ropes. with puzzles. we played bord games. we spent time talking to our friends, not bullying each other online. i’m all for having the internet but there is a time when it is just too much, and that is at age 7 or 8. children dont need to be exposed to that sort of technology then. i see my nephew at 4 addicted to his tablet and my sisters I phone. i cant imagine what he’ll be like at 10. and on that note I’ll stop ranting and shut up. i’m sure your all bored of my ranting and rambles. have a great weekend everyone.

Frustrating morning

I’m having a furstrating morning. I didnt sleep good. I had nightmares all night. I had some phone calls to make this morning, I had to call housing maintanence because I think I have a wasps nest outside my bedroom window. My mom has seen a lot of wasps over my window but they are also over the windows of the 2 houses either side of me so it doesnt necessarily mean they are outside my house. But I said I’d call maintanence and try and have someone come out and take a look t see whats going on. So well I started calling at 9 AM. And do ya think I could get through to them? Not a hope. I left two messages stating that I am blind and very nervous and could someone please call me back because I need someone to come out and look at this for me. By 10:30 I still hadnt gotten a call back. So I called again. Eventually I got through to someone. She told me that my local city council dont usually deal with wasps and bee hives, that that would be up to me to deal with. She said I’d have to get pest control to look at it for me. Then she said since I was blind she’d passed my message on to the person in charge, and they may come look at it for me. I hope so because I am terrified of wasps! If there is a nest outside my house or any of the houses near me I want it gone! I hate how when you try to call maintanence you can never get through, and when you do eventually get through they act like your an inconvenience. All she had to do was call me back and let me know she had gotten the messages. But no, she couldnt even do that. Then I also had to call dr. Barrys secretary and try to get an appointment. I called her yesterday to ask her if my appointment was in for next wednesday the 10th because I hadnt gotten any letter about it. She said no it wasnt, but that she’d been off for two days, and since everything is computerised now that the doctor putting in the referral wouldnt have been able to put in the info, that he’d need to wait for her to get back to do it. Yeah like it would have been nice to have been told that. So she said she’d call me today once she spoke to dr. Barry about it. Well there was no sign of her calling this morning so I decided to take the initiative and ring her back. Well I shouldnt have bothered. She was very irritated with me on the phone. She was like, dr. Barry has just walked in so I havent had a chance to speak to her yet, I’ll get back to you when I do, in this really sarcastic tone. I hung up and was like OMG your being a bitch for no reason! So yeah really had a morning of it with phoning people. Have therapy in 2 hours. Cant wait to get there and offload.