#soCs june 23rd 2018

The heat is starting to bug me! Its just because we here in Ireland we’re not used to it! We rarely get hot summers.  This ones been particularly warm. I’ve been sweltering in the hot weather. Not to mention the poor dogs! They’ve been drinking a ton of water! I feel for them! At least I get to wear my shorts, which is something I rarely get to do!  I’ll only wear them around my parents or my own houses though. I wont go out in them! I think if I did I’d look like an idiot! And anyway I’m not quite there am ashamed of my body so…its a no go.  This next week we’re supposed to get up to 30 degrees C! Unheard of for Ireland! Now I know all of my US readers your probably laughing at this, because I know you get hot summers, I’ve been in the US in the summer. But really? I cant cope at all!  I cannot sleep at night due to the heat. Its hard to settle. The room is too warm.  I toss and turn and I’m unable to relax. Then I wake super early because of the birds singing and I am unable to go back to sleep so I get up! I know this is all trivial, but I just wanted to have a bit of a moan 😀

This post is in response to the prompt for stream of consciousness

 

 

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 23/18

New nurse on duty tonight

so there is a new nurse on duty here tonight. she just started. for anyone who doesnt know i’m in a residential setting, monday to friday, while I complete the independent living skills course. I stay here during the week, and go home on weekends.
anyway. this nurse just started tonight. she’s very patronising. i must say im not sure i like her.
i dunno its her manner? she acts like we’re all children, or something!
and shes very condescending. i do not like that one bit.
not sure we’re gonna take to her. hoping she is just not used to how things here are run and in a day or two she’ll get better, well I sincerely hope she will otherwise i’m screwed.

awe crap

now i’m sick. I’ve been feeling sick for a few days.

tonight I feel like shit. coughing, runny nose, sniffling, wheezing, just an all around shitfest.

I hate being sick. it triggers the hell out ofme.

I have no meds either to take. and it doesn’t look likely that i’ll get any with this shitty weather that’s upon us.

so i’ll have to suffer on I suppose.

shit anyway.
I’m pissy. I cant deal with this. I don’t want to deal with it.
do I have a choice though? noooo.
ug…sigh

spoofer!

omg guys i am beyond frustrated. so i run a group on groups.io. for people with did and trauma related issues. well we have a spoofer on there. how they got there i dont know. they are sending messages or they were, that looked like they were coming from me, and two other members, of course they were not from us at all. but it looked like they were. horrible nasty messages. upset a lot of people on the list and triggered the hell out of me. just to think that someone was saying things like deal with it get over the trauma and get off your arses and acting like i said them well that sent us into a downward spiral. i was going to get rid of them if it was the last thing i did. so while i was awake last night i looked into their IP addy. they are from singapore, and they sent the messages using a blackberry phone. i was able to figure out that much with the help of a friend. so first i changed my groups.io password and my google password. then i told all my group members to do the same. you see i think what really happened is one of our accounts was compramised. because i know all of the members on the list, i am familiar with all of their email addys and no one new joined recently so no unfamiliar email addresses are on the list. so anyway. after changing my passwords and figuring this shitheads IP out i was stumped. now what. so i then had to put my entire list on moderated status. for now. until this dies down. because this morning another message had come through looking like it was from my email address. and it said well guys have you all gotten over your trauma yet? and a few other cruel things that i cant quite remember. so now the list is moderated, it means i have to approve every message first. before they can go through. that should solve things i hope. i really really hope so. its a lot of extra work for me but if it fixes things then i will leave it thatw ay for a while. just until i know the spoofer is gone. for good. fuckhead. dick. fucktard, yes he is. ok it could be a she too i guess. but anyway. so am pissed. totally pissed. you shoulda seen me earlier, spazing out. freaking the hell out all night. just unable to come up with a solution. then i finally did. so thats been my day. happy freakin day and heres to idiot spoofers.
carol anne

ITS LIZ AND IM HURT

OK SO I AM HURTING AND SAD AND FEELING FUCKING AWFUL. YES. AND I’D LIKE TO KNOW WHY PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING INSENSITIVE.
THAT DUDE BANNING CAROL ANNE. HE THINKS HE IS GOD.
HE’S ACTING ALL POWERFUL JUST CAUSE HE OWNS A FUCKING EMAIL LIST.
DAMN IT ANYWAY. WORDS HURT. SEEING EMAILS THAT ARENT MEANT FOR US TO SEE THAT TALK ABOUT US AND ARE DEROGATORY FUCKING HURTS.
I AM PISSED. BEYOND PISSED.
IT MAKES ME WANT TO GRAB A STEAK KNIFE OUT OF THE KITCHEN AND CUT UP OUR ARMS.
JUST BECAUSE I AM HURTING, AND I CANT THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE TO DO INSTEAD.
SO I AM REACHING OUT HERE FOR SUPPORT. AND I THINK PEOPLE SHOULD BLOODY THINK BEFORE THEY SPEAK. BUT THATS ASKING TOO MUCH I GUESS.
IS ANYONE AROUND?
LIZ

GO FUCK YOURSELF, abuser

YES YOU, GO TAKE A RUNNING JUMP, OFF A BRIDGE, TAKE A HIKE, FUCK OFF, DONT BOTHER ME, I AM NOT HERE FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, I AM NOT HERE FOR YOU TO PLAY MIND GAMES WITH. YOU HAVE NO IDEA DO YOU? NO, AND YOU DONT CARE. YOU ARE SELFISH. YOU ARE HEARTLESS. YOU SPEW YOUR VENUM WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT FOR THOSE IN THE FIRING LINE. WELL. JUST FUCK OFF. LEAVE US BE. SPREAD YOUR HATE ELSEWHERE. WE ARE NOT LISTENING ANY MORE.
LIZ