Triggers and dissociation and I am just feeling like crap and totally falling apart

Hi everyone
Right now I am very dissociative and feeling quite triggered. Its been like this on and off for days. Getting progressively worse and worse. I went to my friends earlier because I really needed someone to talk to about all this. I’ve been feeling very scared and vulnerable. Especially when I am alone. I am getting afraid to stay in my own house because parts are coming out that I am unaware of and doing things and I have no memory of what they did. I also come to and find things moved, or for example the cooker left on, or the house alarm not turned on and its making me feel very unsafe. I cant really do anything about this because I dont know the parts, I cant talk directly to them and find out why they are doing this. All I know is I am losing time and I havent done that in years. And its very unsettling. And I think its getting worse as the days go on. I just texted eileen an hour ago and she invited me to call her so I did. I just got off the phone a couple minutes ago after spending 30 minutes talking to her. There is so much swirling around my head. So many anxieties and worries. I’m worried about the dissociation. I’m worried about starting back to college because my tutor is on extended annual leave and there is a replacement who doesnt know very much about blindness and so I’ll probably have added stress with that. I’m worried about my family. My dads been drinking a lot over the last couple of weeks. When he drinks he argues. Then we end up getting more triggered and so now I dont even have the option of going to my parents because I dont feel I should be in that environment. So even though my symptoms and dissociation is bad I cant go to them because first of all they dont get it or understand, and second my dad is constantly drinking and then arguing with whoever will listen to him. I dont want to put us in that situation so I wont go to them now even though they are my only option besides the hospital. Eileen did mention that maybe I should go to the hospital but to be honest I dont want to go there tonight or over the weekend because I dont know who I will see, it could be anyone and they dont know me or my situation and I’d rather talk to Dr. Barry about all this but I dont see her until Wednesday of next week. Eileen very kindly offered that if I need her over the weekend that I can call her. Right now I am just so scared. I am falling apart and I dont know what I should do. Has anyone got any advice? I’d gladly take it if you do. Anyone who has did or deals with dissociation, if you have tips or know of something that I can do that will help please let me know. I hate the night time too. It scares me so much. I’m just feeling so lost and so alone in all this.