Got my shot

I am just back from getting my shot. The nurse who administered it knows me, but I cant remember her, she said she remembers me from years ago when I was an inpatient on the psych unit and she was working there. I wish I could remember her, she said to me today that I seem much happier and I agreed with her that I was. I will say this. She’s good at administering the shot. It didnt even hurt, not even a little bit. I thought I was going to be early and have to wait around for a half hour, but when I got there she was free so she took me back right away. Now that its done I wont have to get it again for 3 months. I’m glad I met the nurse before today, I am glad Dr. Barry introduced me to her. Her name is Kay. She’s actually a lovely person. She’s very genuine and kind. When we came outside the office, my mom was there waiting, as she’d come with me. Kay said to her that I was doing great, and my mom said she was delighted with the progress I’d made. That was so lovely to hear. I had the biggest smile on my face on hearing my mom say how thrilled she was that I was doing so much better. Now I am back home and so glad to be inside in the warmth. Its pouring outside still. I’m glad I dont have to go out in it again today.

Dr. Barry and our good news appointment!

So I just got done seeing dr. barry! We had a fantastic appointment! But thats the norm for us!
I had so much to tell her!
I told her about my smear test coming back clear, and she was really pleased for me. She encouraged me not to stress about the upcoming appointment to the clinic so for now I am not going to worry too much about it! It wont be for a few weeks yet, so I have time to prepare!
We talked about meds, and she asked me about the clonadine, how was it going for me taking it. I told her its working out really well. I am happy with how its working out. My anxiety has lessened since I’ve been taking it. And I am mostly sleeping a little better, I am now sleeping for around 4 to 5 hours when I do sleep, and I am having less nightmares too. She was really happy to hear how well the med is working out. She gave me another script for 2 more weeks supply of the med. We’ll review it when I next see her. We didnt increase it today, she is going to see how I do on it for another 2 weeks before we think about upping the dose.
I told her we didnt see eileen this week because of her being ill. We talked about the stress I felt at eileen being ill. I was also telling her about the kids, how much they worried about eileen and how their worry filtered through to me but that I was also worried and now that eileens ok again I am less stressed and just so relieved.
Then I told her my big news! About my trip to the USA next year! She couldnt believe I was going and she was really excited for me! It was so cute! She was like, Carol anne, I dont think you’ve been to the states since I’ve been your doctor have you? I had to think but no, I havent! The last time I went to america was in the summer of 2013, and I didnt start seeing dr. barry until november of that year.
She then told me that the nurse that was giving me my shot had left, and a new nurse was now administering the shots. She said if I wanted to she’d introduce her to me. So I said I’d like that. She left the room to see if the nurse, whose name is Kay, was still there, she was, and she came in to meet me. She knew me, but I didnt remember her. But she said she had worked in the hospital some years ago on nights, and she’d met me while I was an in patient. I had no memory of ever meeting her! But she seems nice. I’m glad we’ve met, it makes getting my shot from her easier to deal with and I wont be stressing over a new person giving it to me!
Somehow then dr. barry and I got on to talking about psychiatrists, and my former psychiatrist. That was interesting. We had a long conversation about my teen years in the mental health system, and she told me that my then psychiatrist dr. Mccarthy who was my first ever psychiatrist when I was in my teens, has now retired. I always liked dr. Mccarthy, she was a nice doctor and she was easy to get along with.
So yeah, a heavy apt, loaded with much chat, and lots to talk through. It was good though and we made another one for 2 weeks time. When dr. barry walked me to the front entrance to get my taxi, I told her as we were walking to the entrance about nitro retiring, as I forgot to tell her while we were in our appointment. So then we had a further conversation about that.
We’re coming up on our six year anniversary, it is in a few weeks, she’ll have been my doctor for six years this coming november, wow, how that time has flown, I’ve grown a lot since we started our work together, I am so glad she’s my psychiatrist, I couldnt ask for a better doctor.

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Finally, she called!

I just had a phone call from my CPN Alison. She’s not my usual CPN, but my usual one Sarah is away on holidays so Alison is covering for her.

 

I don’t know Alison all that well. So it was hard to engage with her. But I tried. I get brownie points for trying, right? Lol.

 

Anyway. We mainly talked about my mood, sleep, and about Eileen being away, and she asked me if I was still E THAT OPTION> It is handy to be able to contact a nurse if things were to get really bad or if I felt very low.

 

Alison was actually meant to call me last week, but she didn’t, and I’d all but given up hope that she was going to call me. But she did, it was a nice surprise this morning.  I will have to text eileen now to tell her that she actually has called me after all.

 

I am glad I have the support of a CPN. I feel lucky to have that support, because I know some people don’t.  I am grateful for the call and check in today.

On the move!

Well its finally happening! Dr. barry is moving to a new building! I am seeing her tomorrow in the new building! I am so anxious!
My CPN sarah rang me this morning. She said dr. barry was speaking to her and asked her to meet me tomorrow morning as she knows this is a huge deal for me. For one thing I know absolutely nothing about the new building, other than its huge, and there are a lot of other doctors and services in there!
So I am meeting Sarah at 8:45 tomorrow morning. She is going to show me where to go. I also have to get my injection so I will need to be shown where to go for that too!
I hope this new building wont be too hard to get around! I dont know how many times I’ll go before I will know where to go or what I am doing! I have a feeling I will need to do some route familiarisation with nitro! So hopefully sarah will help me out with that!
Dr. barry has been brilliant. She knows change is hard for me. She knows I am an anxious mess. I did not want this to happen! I dont think she did either! Its just that a new medical complex was built and all medical services have to move in there and out of their old buildings as the old buildings are being knocked down!
But OMG this is so strange! So weird and just ug not liking it one bit!
Im glad to have sarah’s help in this though. Makes things a bit easier. She’s lucky I even answered my phone as her number is a private number and I rarely answer private numbers!
Anyway. Will report more on how the move went tomorrow!

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Sarah!

my cpn sarah just called. i’d been having phone sessions with her for the month of october. for some extra support.
she had caught me on my way out from seeing dr. barry last week, and she had told me she’d ring me the next day, but then she forgot. I knew she probably forgot to do it. I had no number to contact her.
But all is good she just called me all apologetic and we had a final session. If I need her again I can link back in with her I just need to be refered which dr. barry can do for me. Her support is good. I like her. She’s friendly and approachable and very kind.
She told me I should be proud o f myself for getting through october, and staying out of hospital. I guess that was a pretty big thing. I am proud that I did that.
Its good that I have her support going forward if I need it. I have a great team of mental health professionals around me. thank goodness for that!

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Dr. Barry apt. Extra support this month, and, We’re moving!

had a great apt with dr. barry today. really got in to a lot with her. we talked about the time of the year, and how we are really struggling for the next month. I asked her if there was any possibility we could see the mental health nurse sara over the month of october as some extra support. She said yes that wouldnt be a problem, and she thought that it would actually be a great idea. So she is going to speak to her at their team meeting next monday. Even if its just phone support, at least there will be extra support, an extra person checking in with us. So I am happy about that. We talked about therapy as well, I told her about the darks working with eileen, working on why it is they do what they do, why they feel the need to contact past abusers, and respond to them. Dr. barry likened it to learning a new dance, she said its hard not to do the old one when you hear the music, she said if you know it, you’ll automatically do what you know, its like that with the darks too. They are learning a new way of being, and trying to change, and getting to a place where they no longer feel the need to contact abusers, but that takes time, and there will be hiccups along the way. I liked her analagy of it being like a familiar dance. I could relate to that. I told her about our friend asking me to talk to her on her behalf. She was not happy about it. She apologised to me, told me she was sorry that I was stuck in the middle of this. She said that she wasnt able to discuss her case, I knew she wouldnt be able to, and she wasnt able to tell me what she was going to do about it, but she said she would be doing something as this sort of behaviour wasnt acceptible and it wasnt fair on us to be put in that predicament. So I know she’ll deal with it. She said she knows too that when I am ready, and in a better headspace than I am in now, I’ll talk to my friend, and tell her that its not right what she did. And I will, just not right now. Right now I am dealing with a lot and dont feel up to having that conversation with her. We talked about moving to a new building, dr. barry said its happening within the next two weeks. We’ll be moving to a purpose built building. There wont only be mental health providers there though, there will be a whole lot of medical personel, doctors, clinics etc. We talked about our needs, and how we may need extra help. Dr. barry said that would be fine, she understood we need extra support and she said maybe the mental health nurse sarah can help us with that too. That sounds good to me. She said for me to take it that our next apt in two weeks will be in the old building unless I hear otherwise. They havent finalised things yet and dr. barry said her team havent been fully informed yet about the move, they’ve only been told that the move is happening. Its a lot of change though and we’re not good with change. Other than that we just discussed the letters I found from my gramma last weekend, we talked about slimming world, and a few other things as well. It was a really great appointment.

Virus-free. www.avg.com

90 KG

So I just went to get my 3 montly shot of trevicta. They weighed me and they said I am 90 KG. When I got weighed at my last appointment 3 months ago I weighed 94 KG. That thrills me that I’ve lost 4 KG in 3 months. I am so delighted about that. Its great progress! The nurse told me that the next time I get my shot which will be in December, I’ll probably have to go down to the smaller sized needle. She said since I am losing weight they’ll have to adjust the needle size as well. She said they’d be weighing me again at my next appointment, and to make sure that they did do it if it was a different person giving me the shot. When I started losing weight back in Febuary I was 104 KG. Now I am 90. Wow! That’s just amazing. Its the lowest weight I’ve ever been well in a good couple of years. Probably its my lowest weight since around 2006. Here’s to losing another 4 KG over the next 3 months. For those who want to know what 90 KG equals in pounds, its 198 pounds. I’m smashing my weight loss goals, yay. 🙂 😀 ❤