Afternoon thoughts

I made some tea. That seemed to help my anxiety. I feel less anxious now.
I talked to mom on the phone earlier. She’s having a fun time camping. Its cold and raining some. But they are all still having fun. They had a cooked breakfast, and they are going to BBQ tonight. Well if the rain holds off that is.
The kids are enjoying themselves too. They’re on a farm, so there is a lot for the kiddos to do.
As for me and my dad, we’re getting along. He hasn’t driven me batty yet lol. He’s actually been extremely nice to me. He said he’ll make me a fruit salad as soon as his show is over. He even waited for my meds to arrive, and when they did he answered the door and took them instead of me having to go to the door and make niceties with the delivery guy.
Now I have the Prozac and will start taking it tomorrow. And then the fun begins. We’ll see how good it is and if it actually does anything for my depression. I really hope it will!

Dr. Barry apt

Well I saw dr. barry. We had a great apt. I discussed everything thats been going on for me with her. My symptoms, the anxiety, depression and dissociation. I laid it all out on the table. Told her exactly how I’ve been doing, how I am feeling etc. She listened, and she was very sympathetic.

After talking through everything, she asked me if I’d like to go on something to help with the depression. I said yes I thought that would be a good idea. She said we can try sertraline, or prozac, and how did I feel about going on one of these? I said I would try anything as long as it doesnt make me gain weight. She said then in that case she’d prescribe prozac for me, as that was the least likely to make me gain weight.

She said we’d need to start on 20 mg, and we can increase it to 40 mg over the next couple of weeks. I did tell her I am having a lot of trouble remembering meds, and she knows thats an ongoing issue for me. I said I’d put reminders in my phone, and also that I would ask my mom to help me remember to take them. She said that would be a great idea. I told her that when I had the kidney infection recently my mom had helped me by reminding me to take my antibiotics.

We talked about me missing my last apt. I told her I just couldnt come in due to being so ill with a kidney infection. She told me she’d also been ill on the day of the apt. She had food poisoning and was out and so I would not have seen her if I’d gone in. I felt better knowing she wasnt there on that day, somehow that was a comfort to me. I dont want her to be ill, but knowing I didnt actually miss out on an appointment with her felt good.

We talked about college, I told her what happened with my project. We talked too about the new work initiative that the NCBI are starting, and I told her I was going to participate, she was very positive about it, saying it was a great initiative and would give me great experience, pretty much she said it was a terrific opportunity and I should grab it. She said if things deteriorate I can always pull out of it. I agreed. I’m glad she knows how things are now, so she can keep a close eye on things over the coming weeks.

I’m seeing her again in two weeks. I also got my shot today. I think that will also help. I always feel quite good a day or two after I get it. So I am hoping thats the case again for me this time around.

I feel good though after seeing dr. barry. I feel positive. I feel glad that I was able to tell her everything, and now we have a plan, and I hope the prozac will help my mood and the related depression symptoms.


we’re On prazazin now

dr. barry put us on prazazin today. we asked her if she would. i thought she’d say no. she told me its not licensed here to treat nightmares, or ptsd. its only licensed to treat blood pressure problems. but she said she’d be willing to give it to us as an off label med, meaning she would sanction it and start us on a low dose, see how we do on it. so she started us on 1 mg at bedtime, and next week she’ll increase it to 2. and then the week after she’ll go up to 4. she said she isnt comfortable with going above 4 MG of it though. i love that she’s willing to try things that she normally wouldnt do. i love how she always listens to me. all I said to her was my friend was on it, and it helps her with her ptsd symptoms and nightmares. i already take prozac which is sanctioned here for ptsd symptoms. but she said its safe to take prazazin with prozac. so we shall see. this might turn out to be a good thing. i’ll keep everyone posted.

solution to my sleep issues?

i may have found what causes my sleeplessness. a blogger friend said prozac can cause sleeplessness. i am on the highest dose of prozac, i take 60 mg of it. dr. barry never mentioned it could cause sleeplessness. i’ve been on it for a while now. it is working in other ways. it helps my depression. it helps my ptsd symptoms. but man, if it causes sleeplessness, i am not sure i want to continue taking it. i will definitely be talking to dr. barry about this on wednesday. maybe she has never heard of it doing that? i dont know. she’s pretty clued in about meds. she is what i would term a great prescribing practisioner. seriously though if its not non 24 sleep disorder that i have, and it may still be, who knows, then why am i able to stay awake for a full day? without much tiredness creeping in? i am not bipolar so its nothing to do with manicness. definitely gonna discuss this with her on wednesday!

Med mix up

so this morning I noticed there were only 4 tablets in the little cup that I get my meds in.

I took them but was like what is going on here! So I said to the nurse amanda, what meds did you give me?

She said she gave me glucophage, lyrica, and keppra, so I was like what about my prozac? I am on 60 mg of prozac!

She said the doctor never wrote you up for it! You didnt get it yesterday either! That says a lot about why I was so down and sleeping a lot yesterday. I didnt have the antidepressant in my system.

She said she’d sort it out before 10 AM this morning. Its weird how you can miss a med for only 2 days and really feel the effects of it. I had a pretty bad effect to missing the prozac. Hopefully she’ll sort it out for me and I can get my dose for this morning.