I am going to my cousins baby shower tonight. She’s 8 months pregnant, she’s due her baby at the end of september! She’s having a boy, but she doesnt actually know that, the only reason I know is her mother in law knows, and she told a few of us in the family so that we could get appropriate gifts for her. The gender reveal is tonight, at the baby shower, so she’ll know tonight what she’s having. I am excited to go to the baby shower, its my first time going to one. I think it will be a lot of fun. I got her some cute outfits for the new baby. Two different ones I bought. I am going to dress up nice, wear make up and all, so I will post pics later this evening before I go out. And I will probably take a bunch of pics at the baby shower too so will post a few when I get home.. The baby shower is in her motherinlaws house. I dont really know her motherinlaw, so I am nervous because I dont know that side of her family, but it will be fine, all of my aunts and my mom are going so I will be fine. I will just enjoy myself, my aunt is picking us up at 8, and I am sure we’ll have a fun time!
So I thought I’d do a post about the names I love, and if I had a child, I would call said child.
Sometimes, when some insiders here don’t already have a name, they like to go look up names, and pick one of their own.
For a girl I like…
Emily, mia, brook, fay, lexi, taylor, Hannah, adelle, abby
For a boy I like…
lewis, harry, connor, dean, ryan, adam, Tristan, Jacob, Edward
I’ll never be able to have a child myself, but having insiders with some of these names is cool I think.
What names do you like?
i’ve just finished reading cathy glass’s latest book. its called can i let you go, a heartbreaking story of love, loss and moving on. it was just released last week and is an incredible read. this book is a little different from the usual types of foster care memoirs that cathy writes. it tells fays story. fay is 24 and has learning difficulties due to having foetal alcohol syndrome. she comes to live with cathy after becoming pregnant. up until now she has been living with her grandparents stan and wilma, but now that she is pregnant they are having difficulty coping. they have limited mobility and need a lot of help and cant manage to take fay to her antinatal appointments. no one knows who the father of fays baby is, she says its a secret. but she hardly ever goes out alone, so no one knows how she could have managed to become pregnant. she comes to live with cathy and her family when she is six months pregnant. at first fay is completely in denial about her baby and even about being pregnant. she tells cathy that she must not talk about that. her gran and grandpa dont talk about it either. cathy feels like this is very unhealthy. eventually becky who is fays social worker talks to fay and encourages her to try to talk to cathy. it turns out she is afraid of hurting her grandparents and this is why she isnt talking about her pregnancy. after the chat with becky she does open up more and begins to talk about her baby and the pregnancy. after a few weeks she has an antinatal appointment and when its over she tells cathy that she wants to keep her baby. before it was felt that once the baby was born it would be placed for adoption. cathy is surprised that fay wants to keep her baby and so is her social worker. her social worker says that although fay has learning disabilities and might not be capable of looking after a child, that she has rigts and she has to be given the same chance at parenting her baby as a person who doesnt have disabilities. so becky does some searching and offers fay a place at a specialist mother and baby unit. once her baby is born fay will go to the unit for six months and be assessed to see if she can parent her child. becky asks cathy to try to teach her some skills while she is with her so cathy throws herself into teaching fay how to hold, feed, change, bath, and play with a new baby. eventually fay goes into labour and has her baby. cathy and her grandmother wilma are with her for the birth. but once the baby is born fay doesnt try to look after it. she takes no interest in the baby. becky again asks cathy to try to talk to fay. and when she does fay tells her that she’s made up her mind and that she wants her baby to go for adoption. that its the best thing for him because she just cant learn and remember things and that she doesnt feel she can look after him. she says she wants whats best for him and wants to give him the best chance in life. she asks cathy to be with her the next morning when she has to hand her baby over to a foster carer. it is heartbreaking and very sad but cathy is with her when this happens. then fay returns to live with her grandparents again. the baby goes first to foster care and is then placed for adoption. after fay returns to live with stan and wilma, cathy visits to drop some xmas presents off and fays belongings. while she is there a neighbour lewis who is 19 helps her bring the bags up to the grandparents flat. when cathy leaves to go home, he is waiting in the lobby for her. and he reveals that he may be the father of fays baby. cathy is very surprised to hear this and immediately tells becky the news. in the end it is felt that lewis and his family cant bring up the baby so he goes to a couple that cant have kids. this book was an incredibly sad and moving sread. I cried many times throughout the book as I am sure you will too if you read it. It is one of cathys best books to date. I hope if you read it you enjoy it as much as I did.
so i just finished another amazing short story by casey watson. this is a story about identical twins, scarlet and jade. they are 17 and come to casey while she is working on a project for troubled teens. she is working with the teens to help them find jobs, and in the process of the few months she works with them she is hopeful that they will open up about their pasts. the type of teens that this programme helps are ones who have been taken into care, or who have been in trouble with the law, or who have turned to drugs or alcohol. at first casey notices that scarlet and jade are very close and have a close bond, they stick together like glue and rarely talk to anyone else. however there seems to also be some tention between them and their is another problem. jade isnt good about personal hygiene and she smells as a result and nobody wants to be around her. the teens and casey and caseys assistant Katie are preparing to go on a week long residential trip, and the week leading up to it they are doing activities in preparation, a few days to go and a huge argument breaks out between a couple of the kids and scarlet. all because one of the boys, carl has made rude comments about jade when Katie tried to split the group into pairs. scarlet gets very angry and punches him and also katie causing katie’s nose to bleed and carls face to be all red. Casey decides to look into the twins background. she finds out that they were taken into care when they were 16, and jade had gotten pregnant but it is unclear what happened to her baby. a few days after the incident with Carl scarlet comes to Casey and tells her a little about their background. she tells her that jade had gotten involved with a drug dealer and he’d gotten her pregnant and her kids, yes two kids, were both taken off of her because she was unable to care for them. this has sent jade into a deep depression and she hadnt looked after her personal hygiene or her flat where she lived. nothing scarlet said or did helped. she said that there was more but she felt unable to tell casey what it was. they went on their residential trip and casey gave each of the teens a gift of a bag filled with toiletries and it seemed that worked as jade did look after her hygiene for that week. on returning from the trip all the teens went home but scarlet stayed behind. she said she’d help casey clean the van that they’d traveled in. it was while she was doing this that she opened up to casey. she told her that her dad was in prison for raping and sexually abusing jade and her. he’d been doing it for years. he had made them watch porn and do things to him and to each other. he had done it while their mom was out and she said she thought their mom knew what he was doing. eventually scarlet had been the one to tell and they’d been taken into care. casey was reeling at this revelation. all she was able to do was hug scarlet and promise to get her help. scarlet begged her to talk to jade. she said she would try. a few days later an opportunity arose because the teens were doing some fundraising and part of that was washing cars. jade and scarlet were washing cars and casey decided to go out and talk to both of them together. so she went out and told scarlet that she would be able to get her some professional help for what she’d been through. jades mouth fell open and she was very angry that scarlet had told casey anything. scarlet in retaliation was angry too and they started arguing but casey was able to make them calm down and it was only then that jade fell to her knees sobbing uncontrollably. scarlet went over to her and they hugged and spent another hour telling casey all of what they’d been through. casey vowed to get both of them help. they went on to see a counsellor twice a week separately for the remainder of the time they were with casey. at the end of the four month course they got jobs and casey said she’s seen them since and things are good now, they’ve both come to terms with their past. scarlet even made a compensation claim against their dad and was able to buy a small home for herself. jade however did not do that. they were also both able to make peace with their mom who they both realised was a victim too as she’d recieved multiple beatings from their dad. this book is really great. i’d highly recommend it to any foster parent, social worker, teen who is struggling, or anyone whose been through abuse in their childhood.
I’ve just finished another fabulous book by Rosie Lewis, this is another of her short stories.
Ellen, who is 28, has just given birth to a baby. She never knew she was pregnant. 2 days after the birth she abandons her baby, and the baby is taken into foster care. Rosie takes over care of the newborn who is named hope after the paramedic who delivered her.
At first rosie cant imagine why any mother would abandon their baby. The midwife had said that she thought Ellen had post traumatic stress disorder, that some mothers after a difficult labour sometimes got diagnosed with the disorder.
a couple of weeks after Rosie starts looking after Hope, Ellen starts to visit and she has access to hope for 2 hours a day. At first she is very afraid to do anything with her baby, she doesnt pick her up, she doesnt even want to look at her. She’s happy to do jobs for Rosie like folding baby clothes, making bottles etc. But she doesnt want to bond with her baby, she cant seem to do that, something is holding her back.
Eventually after a couple of weeks Hopes social worker Graham says they are looking to have Hope adopted. He thinks Ellen is trouble and despite Rosie trying to speak on Ellens behalf plans go ahead to have Hope adopted. Rosie decides that she will have to do something drastic or Ellen could lose hope forever.
One day while Ellen is visiting the phone starts ringing and rosie makes a snap decision to hand Hope to Ellen. It is the start of them bonding. Eventually Ellen opens up to rosie about her past and her childhood. It turns out Ellens mother abused her, she beat her and starved her and verbally abused her. Ellens father was distant and worked long hours. Ellen also tells rosie that her older sister made allegations that her father had sexually abused her. She tells Rosie she is a horrible person and she should not be allowed to keep Hope. She says she cant look after her that she is afraid she will do what her mother did. Rosie encourages her and tells her that she is not her mother and she can love Hope and give her all the things that she never had as a child.
Over the next few weeks the bond between Ellen and hope grows increasingly stronger and stronger. Then Ellen finds out that social services are still planning on having hope adopted. Rosie tells her that she will have to fight to keep her and she must prove to the social workers that she is comitted and wants to keep her daughter. Eventually it turns out that Hope is allowed to go back to her mother, ellen is thrilled.
The book ends with Hope being reunited with her mother and Ellen tells Rosie that if it wasnt for her this never would have happened. The epilogue says that Hope is now 9 and Rosie and Ellen stayed in touch after Ellen got Hope back. Mark Ellens boyfriend who had broken up with her at the start of the book was now back on the scene and the couple stayed together and brought hope up together.
This is a really good book. I loved it. It was well written and would be a good read for foster parents, social workers, abuse survivors, or just anyone who likes true life stories.