at myself. Hahaha. I’m running on very little sleep. I didn’t go to bed until about 2:30 AM. Its just gone 8 AM now. I woke up early, well I tossed and turned for most of the night, but at 7 I gave up and got up.
My parents are up and all of the dogs are up too. My dad said he’d take the four dogs, mine, his dog, and my sisters two pugs, he is looking after them for the weekend, anyway he said he’d take them out for a walk in a little while.
It looks like its gonna be a nice day out today. I hope so. We never got the rain we were meant to get. That makes me happy. I didn’t want storms.
Sometimes I feel so
i’m shattered. broken into a million little shards. a million little pieces.
that’s what it feels like to be a multiple. your like a puzzle, that doesn’t fit together. the pieces are jagged, and they don’t fit together right.
then there’s my mind, that’s broken too. a million thoughts, flying around in there. flying and spinning so fast.
it makes me dizzy. I hope to some day be whole, fixed, or as fixed as I can be. I can wish, right?
Goals for thursday are as follows.
wake up early, around 7 AM, shower, and exercise.
Eat a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Pay my bills.
Go to the basement club.
Read my book for an hour.
Try to get one self care thing fitted into my day.
Take a nap if I feel tired.
Goals for today are:
Eat 3 healthy meals
Help mom with cleaning my house
Go to slimming world
Start a new book
Exercise for 30 minutes
Make out my grocery list
Phone my social worker
today is gonna be quiet. not much going on. my main goal today is to get out of the house. go to the basement club. socialise with people. get out of the house and out of my head.
other small goals for today are, shower, eat 3 healthy meals, read, nap if i can.
if i achieve them all I’ll be very happy.
I decided to participate in the friendly fill in blog challenge this week so here goes.
1. When I am nervous, I…. shake uncontrollably, twirl my hair, get hot and flushed, and breathe rapidly.
2. When I am angry, I sometimes yell, or rage, or slam doors. Snap at people, am bitchy, take my moods out on others around me.
3. Today, I know for sure… that we wont be going to any parade, because moms not feeling well and neither am I.
4. For St. Patrick’s Day, I… Am feeling happy. Am listening to irish tv shows and playing irish music. Will drink a green mint shamrock shake, and enjoy watching the parade on tv.
wrinkle your face
crinkle your lips
open your mouth
show your teeth
all pearly white
at what am I smiling?
my cute, awesome baby boy
who loves me unconditionally
and only asks for love in return
he’s not hard to love
and I never loved anyone so much
as I love my dog
he makes my face
wrinkle up with joy
laughter lines appear