Friendly fill ins

I decided to participate in the friendly fill in blog challenge this week so here goes.

1. When I am nervous, I…. shake uncontrollably, twirl my hair, get hot and flushed, and breathe rapidly.
2. When I am angry, I sometimes yell, or rage, or slam doors. Snap at people, am bitchy, take my moods out on others around me.
3. Today, I know for sure… that we wont be going to any parade, because moms not feeling well and neither am I.
4. For St. Patrick’s Day, I… Am feeling happy. Am listening to irish tv shows and playing irish music. Will drink a green mint shamrock shake, and enjoy watching the parade on tv.



a smile
feel happy
wrinkle your face
crinkle your lips
open your mouth
show your teeth
all pearly white
at what am I smiling?
my dog
my cute, awesome baby boy
who loves me unconditionally
and only asks for love in return
he’s not hard to love
and I never loved anyone so much
as I love my dog
he makes my face
wrinkle up with joy
laughter lines appear

st. patricks day

happy st. patricks day everyone.

Hope you are all doing well and you’ll have a great day today.

as for me, I am chilling. doing absolutely nothing not going anywhere or to any parade today.

just hanging out at my parents house. the weather is meant to be bad anyway, there is meant to be snow flurries and its supposed to get down in to minus 0 temps.

I slept really well last night. I didn’t go to bed until 1 AM because I was watching tv on my phone.

I was watching discovery ID, I watched a show called the 80’s the deadliest decade, and it was really good. I like documentaries about true crime.

So 1 AM when I went to sleep, and then I woke again at 6:30 because nitro was up walking around wanting to go out.

My dad let him out, I went back to sleep and didn’t wake again until 9 AM.

I just had breakfast, a nice healthy one at that. I had wheetabix with blueberries on top…yummy.

Off to check email now then read for a while.

Have a great day everyone!
carol anne


is i’m lonely. i’m blue. I feel like I could implode. I feel alone. on my own with the memories. and it hurts. it really bloody hurts.
Its a fact that i’m worthless. a fact that i’m a disaster.
a fact that i’m a mess. worthless, and a mess. doesn’t make for very good combo.
not even six AM. and I lie here pondering everything. my childhood, my teen years. my adulthood. pondering the why’s of it all, why was I abused? why do I have did? why do I have a mental illness?
I sit here in fear pondering it all. As I start to fall?
the fact is I’m scared. I’m so aware. Aware and scared.


My mind is
This morning. I had weird dreams. I woke up feeling like crap.
My thoughts are racing. That is one thing I hate is racing thoughts.
Emotionally I’m not doing that great either. I think despite everything that I thought my therapy is going to be canceled tomorrow. Its looking more and more likely.
Eileen lives in the country and the snow is still pretty bad and roads are still pretty impassible in the country.
I’ll text her later today but I am preparing myself for no therapy.
So yeah my mind is a mess I am feeling the effects of it.
Plus I still feel crappy and I just didn’t sleep too good either so that doesn’t help matters.
The system is just a bit of a mess this morning. Hoping as the day progresses that things will get easier.

Daily prompt:suspicious

i am afraid
afraid to let anyone in
afraid of closeness
afraid of people
afraid to trust
if i must trust
it takes me forever
i am suspicious of everyone
and with good reason
i’ve had my fare share of hurt and pain
in my past
and it lingers
old habits die hard
wounds run deep
and i keep
it hidden well
because if i tell
i’m suspicious and afraid
that some day
someone will hurt me again
and this time
there will be no coming back from that place of hurt

What image does having dissociative identity disorder or did conjure up for you?

so…today the daily prompt word is conjure.

so I want to ask you guys…

When you think of a person who has dissociative identity disorder, what does it conjure up in your mind?

What are your first thoughts?

carol anne