buzz off!

omg. my worst fear just came true. a huge wasp just came in the bedroom window. omg he was buzzing so loud! and so big!
i rushed out to tell my dad. both my dad and my mom came in here and got him out for me.
they know how terrified i am of them.
im not the better of it now lol. this is why i hate summer! lol not really but i am really and i mean really terrified of wasps and bees. i’ve never been stung and i dont want to be if i can help it.

Daily prompt…bubble

Sorry to burst your little bubble, dad, but just because I am looking forward to my holiday does not mean I am not sad, feeling insecure, frustrated, upset about other stuff, just because I seem ok on the surface, I am still very much struggling with my mental illnesses.

I wish you could understand that. I wish you could be more supportive.

I’m your daughter after all, your supposed to know me well. But well, I guess you only see what you want to see. I guess you are or were hoping for a miracle cure. Sorry dad, no such luck.

Friendly fill ins

I decided to take part in friendly fill ins this wee,.

1 I am the…scapegoat in my family. As you may know my dad is an alcoholic, but mostly over the years, I have always been blamed for what goes wrong in our family. Everything that happens to go wrong seems to be blamed on me. Also the fact I have a mental illness doesnt help matters, just another thing to criticise me about, and place blame on me for.

2 I have…1 sister, no brothers. My sisters name is Laura. She’s 28. I am glad I have a sister, I think I would have liked more siblings though.

3 I am looking forward to…my holiday in Kerry in a few weeks time. I am excited to go away for a week. I think we’ll have a lot of fun. I’m going with my mom, and sister and my sisters 2 kids.

4 The first sign of spring this year was….daffodils growing in the garden! Very sweet and nice!

Happy mothers day, mom

to my mom,
Happy mothers day!
I want to say thank you for all that you do for me! I am so grateful for you each and every day.
Thanks for all of the advice you give me, the pep talks, thanks for always knowing what to do when I dont.
I love you so much and I am so happy that you are my mom. You are one in a million.
I know we havent always had the best relationship, but I am glad we do now.
I hope you had a great night out with your two sisters last night. And that you enjoyed the money I gave you and splurged it on a few baileys hahaha.
Thank you for always listening to me, dealing with my many moods, dealing with my many crises, and just being an all around great mom.
Love you,
all of us

Get to know us. our early life

a little about my early life…
i was born 13 weeks premature, my mom was only 17 she she had me.
i was in an incubator for 3 months, and had very limited contact with my parents, i weighed 2 pound 8 ounces at birth.
we lived with my dads parents and siblings for the first 2.5 years of my life. they are all alcoholics, and a lot of abuse took place when we were living there.
there was fighting, violence, emotional abuse. it was not a good atmosphere to live in.
our mom always says she was terrified living there, she had no alcoholism in her family, so wasnt used to that kinda atmosphere.
at age 2 we got our own place, and we moved with our parents to our own house. life got a little easier then. for a while at least.

Harmless things that people heard as kids that effect their mental health today

‘Harmless’ Things People Heard as Kids That Affect Their Mental Health | The Mighty

Book review-too young to be a mum, by maggie hartley

Too Young to Be a Mum

Can Jess learn to be a good mummy when she is only a child herself?


When 16-year-old Jess arrives on foster carer Maggie Hartley’s doorstep with her newborn son, Jimmy, she has nowhere else to go. Arriving straight from the hospital, having just given birth, Jess is like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Scared, alone, and practically a child herself, she is overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for a newborn without the support of a loving family or her beloved boyfriend.

With social services threatening to take baby Jimmy into care, Jess knows that Maggie is her only chance of keeping her son. Maggie can see that Jess loves her boyfriend and wants to be a good mother to her son. Can Maggie help Jess learn to become a mum? Will the family ever be allowed to live together?

My thoughts…

I really enjoyed this book. I thought the reader of the audio book did a really great job and I liked her style and how she read. The book is fast paced and kept me interested. I love all foster care memoirs, and this one doesnt disappoint. I would highly recommend it.

Audible book link


My blog link

I blog about living with blindness and mental illnesses, dissociative identity disorder, and complex ptsd.
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