Guest post From Alex, personal narrative, triggers talks of childhood abuse and neglect!

Alex, evolution of self, has very kindly offered to guest post on my blog! He has written a personal narrative about his childhood experiences growing up with abusive parents! Here is his story!

Alex you’ve been very courageous in telling it!

I am so glad you survived and are a fighter!

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I would like to start by introducing myself

Hi I am Alex

Many have grown up with mesmerizing moments from their childhood had two loving parents”

I was not one of those: starting from the aged of 9 until I was 16, I was subjected to horrific physical brutality from my biological mother whom we will refer to “it”

its level of hatred was cast onto me because of how much I reminded it of my Father. When my Father was home I never had a need to fear or think I was walking on shattered glass.

I also understood what he was doing was rid of the world of Nemesis so when he would leave on an assignment I been asked why I didn’t tell my Father? and I was told by “it” if I did she would inform his C.O that he was doing things to me” and in the Armed Forces that is a Death sentence. I would be left in clutches of Mommy dearest and its twisted sadistic desires and pleasures. Many times it would be an unbearable and fucking nightmare a lot where I endured was in what I called the “Basement of Secrets” I would be forcefully confined to a chair and whipped for hours with black licorice. There were times I wouldn’t be allowed to go to school because I would be healing from the beatings and welts. At a very young age, I learned and embrace the darkness as my numbing solace and was welcomed with open arms.

I had a mate of mine who’s alcoholic Father was abusing him physically I gave him pat on the back and he yelled ouch. had a massive bruise on his lower back…so I thought if they believe him why not me?

So I reached out with desperation to be resurrected from that living hell and was laughed and mocked at because what I was telling them was so surreal.

Many mornings I would wake up having knives throwing at my feet or cans frozen juice whipped at me to see my reflexes.

That night I strongly believe and cringed in paralyzing fear that I would not see the Sunrise again. After being crushed and losing all hope that others would help me. I knew if I was going to survive this fucking living Hell it would be because of (ME)

Ironic thing and fucked up one is the person who was sexually abusing me saw me more as a human being …I guess I choose the lesser of two evils.

So THEM that tried to break me, ripped me into never was ‘thought they could extinguish my Life

Though fucking wrong yes you laid waste and wreak havoc all over my body and mind with scars even though I still breathe I have been shattered into pieces.

I was always taught by my Father that no matter what keep going but last December before Christmas I was not myself I would put on a smile and act like I was fine but far far from it.

Never in million yrs did I think what was going on with me would this. I also didn’t know there was a more voracious and vicious bastard to PTSD but I do know now” I live with it every day as a constant reminder by Roller Coaster I ride.

Thank you for listening to My Story if you know anyone that is struggling never let them think they are lashing out in silent terror.

Book review: Innocent by cathy Glass

I just finished the latest Cathy Glass book a few days ago. It was a great read like all of her books are. I do have to say though that I knew what the problem with the mother was right from the get go. It wasnt hard to spot what was going on. Maybe it would be to someone who didnt know a lot about mental illness or psychology, but I knew right away what the issue was with her.
The book centres around two siblings, molly age 3, and kit aged 18 months. they were taken into care due to Kits non accidental injuries. He had a broken arm and bruising to his face.
While in care, the kids are sick a lot. They keep having symptoms like vomiting, rashes, breathing difficulties etc. Normally it happens after contact with their parents. It turns out the mother is making them ill. She has munchausens bi proxy.
It is only after Cathys own daughter Lucy becomes ill that Cathy figures out that the food from contact is contaminated, but she doesnt guess its the mother doing it, she thinks the food is being stored incorrectly at home.
When she finds out the real cause of the childrens mysterious illnesses, she is shocked. I wont spoil the ending, but I will say, I did not like how the book ended. Its true to life though, and I guess the ending was how things happened, and cathy is reporting it exactly how things unfolded.
Overall I enjoyed the book. And I think anyone who reads it will too. I read it in a matter of days. Its a real page turner.
It also highlights the mental illness munchausin bi proxy. That illness isnt very well known. I thought it was good that it gets some attention as this sort of thing does happen far too often and its hard to pinpoint or diagnose.
I rate the book five stars! Its available on amazon, and in paperback from all good book stores, and on kindle and on audible as an audio book also.

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Book review: Please dont take my sisters, by Maggie Hartley

I finished this book a few days ago. It was a great read, but a very very sad read.

I think this was one of the saddest foster care memoirs I’ve ever read.

The book is about 3 siblings, amelee, lexi and Leo. They come into care on an emergency placement. Lexi is 3, Amelee is 5 and Leo is 13.

The little girls do well in foster care, but Leo has tons of issues. He’s been looking after his sisters at home, caring for them, while his mother is drinking a lot, and pretty much out of it the whole time.

Due to this, he has a lot of anxiety, he has OCD tendencies, and an eating disorder. It comes to light too later in the story that he self harms.

I wont ruin the book, but the ending of it isnt really a happy one. You wont be able to stop reading though once you start, you’ll just want to find out what happens to these 3 children.

Basically the story is whether the 2 little girls should be adopted, without their big brother, or whether the children should all stay together. As I said, I wont spoil the ending for you…do read it to find out, you wont be disappointed.

The book is available on kindle, in paperback, and in audio from audible.

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