Tag: Pain

THIS IS WENDY. I AM AN ALTER IN OUR SYSTEM AND I AM 23. TODAY WE HAD A ROUGH THERAPY SESSION. I WAS OUT FOR MOST OF IT. I TALKED TO EILEEN ABOUT THE TRAUMA THAT LED US TO GO INTO THE PSYCH WARD LAST OCTOBER AND NOVEMBER. IT WAS HARD, I DIDN’T WANT TO DISCLOSE WHAT HAPPENED, BUT I KNEW I NEEDED TO IN ORDER TO HEAL. I ONLY TOLD A SMALL PIECE OF THE STORY. EILEEN SAID I DID WELL AND SHE’S PROUD OF ME. I HATE MYSELF. I FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO US, I FEEL LIKE IT WAS MY FAULT. I TOOK US INTO A DANGEROUS PLACE. EILEEN SAID IT ISNT MY FAULT, THAT WHAT WAS DONE TO US WAS DONE BY ABUSERS, AND IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN. SHE SAID I WAS ONLY ACTING OUT OF A NEED FOR CONNECTION, AND BELONGING, AND A NEED TO FEEL AND BE LOVED. THAT IS TRUE. I FEEL AS IF I DON’T BELONG TO ANYONE OR ANYWHERE. I FEEL TOTALLY DISCONNECTED, AND IT MAKES ME SO DEPRESSED. THIS SONG I’M SHARING HERE, THIS, THIS IS HOW I FEEL, WHEN WILL I GET IT RIGHT? WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR GOOD ISNT GOOD ENOUGH AND ALL THAT YOU TOUCH TUMBLES DOWN?