I also saw mark my OT this morning. that went well.
We dont meet often nowadays. It was 3 months since our last apt.
He said he’s really proud of me. He said we dont need to meet as much now, since I am mostly doing stuff on my own initiative. He said I am making his role redundant.
He was joking of course. But it was nice to get the praise.
We talked about me finishing up the ILS course, and about my plans for summer.
I said I’d like to be less busy over the summer months. I want to take some time to just recharge my batteries.
He said he thought this was a really good idea.
I told him I was going to continue volunteering and going to the basement club. He encouraged me to do that.
In the end we decided to meet in a months time to discuss future plans and set some goals.
I told him I was thinking about doing a CE scheme, community employment scheme. But that I’d just gotten my disability payment sorted out and I wasnt sure because it was so much hassle if you decide to come off disability that doing the CE scheme almost didnt seem worth it.
but I said I’d decide nearer the end of summer what I was going to do.
If I dont do it, I will up my volunteer hours, and to be honest, I’m leaning more towards doing that.
It was a great catch up appointment though. Nice to catch up after a few months of not meeting
its morning already? I cant believe it!
I didnt want to get up! I was having a nice dream! And then my alarm woke me!
Ug! I got up at 6:45, stupid o’clock! I’m leaving in 20 minutes to go to the hospital for my two apts.
First I will see Mark my OT. Then dr. barry. I hope it wont be too busy up there. Well I’ll be first there, so I shouldnt have too much of a wait!
Ok better run and take my morning meds now. Will write about both apts when I get home!
Mark our OT called me today.
I had emailed him last week asking if we could schedule an apt for the week of easter, for a long overdue catch up.
when I didnt hear back from him I thought he might not be working that week, but then he phoned me today.
he knows I see dr. barry every two weeks now, when I see her I will usually see him on the same day because it just works out easiest to do it that way.
So he told me today to give him a ring the week leading up to easter, and we can arrange to have an appointment over the break.
I was thinking today about how lucky I am with the team I have.
Not only do I have dr. barry and eileen, I also have Mark, a social worker if I need her, granted I havent met the new social worker on the team yet, but I know she’s there should I need to talk to her.
Mark has given me his email address and mobile phone number, he has said I can always call him if ever I need anything.
I know I can always email Eileen, or text her in between sessions.
So I am well held and contained. For that I feel so appreciative. I know not everyone has such a good team and such good supports around them.
I havent seen Mark since before christmas, so it will be good to touch base with him again. I know the last time we met we were going to talk about sensory stuff to help with grounding, like weighted blankets, and other sensory items I could use.
I was meant to see my OT mark this morning. However I rang and canceled it yesterday afternoon. I felt like crap and also I had to wait in for the post because I was to receive a cheque which I needed to change to get dog food.
So Mark said he’d phone me this morning to have a catch up. And so that’s what we did. He called about 9 AM. And we chatted for 20 minutes. I gave him a run down of my first week of doing the independent living skills course. He asked me if I had any concerns, I didn’t. Everything is going well. I am happy with how things are going. I love the course, I’m enjoying it.
He said it was amazing that I had nothing negative to say. I thought so too lol. We talked about anxiety and my anxiety around having my own space and having to be social when I didn’t want to be and stuff. I said I was doing well with that, that I was making an effort to socialise outside of the course, in the evenings, but that if I need space I sorta use Nitro as an excuse, saying I need to take him outside for a couple of minutes just so that I can get a little space from my surrounds, a little fresh air.
Mark thought that was a super idea. He congratulated me on using my coping skills wisely.
I told him that they are looking for an OT to do a risk assessment to see whether I am safe to have a kettle in my room, safe using boiling water etc. They have to do this, its to cover their own assess just in case I was a liability. Mark said if they need someone to do it he’d do it for them. He told me to wait and see what they’ll come up with and if they’ll have an OT on hand, and if not, then I can call him and he’ll assess me.
As things stand he left it that I’d call him in a couple of week to check in, we didn’t make a new appointment to meet face to face, since I don’t have any time off now until xmas.
I’m glad we caught up though. I always like to check in with him if I can. He’s been a great source of support to me over the past couple of years.
just saw my OT mark. he had a student with him today. a final year fourth year college student who was studying to be an OT. he had asked me if it was ok if the student came in, i said yes. after all he has to learn!
we talked about me starting the independent living skills course. mark did not know i was starting it, i had not gotten the place when i last saw him. he was thrilled for me. said it was a great opportunity. which it is thats true.
we talked and i told him i’d been writing lists. lists of my triggers, lists of my coping skills, lists of distraction techniques. lists of who to go to when I am in crisis. so many lists.
i’ve also been looking at grounding techniques. the staff in abode arent trained in dealing with mental illness. they know a little bit about it but most of them dont have a background in psych stuff. they know i have did and ptsd. i havent hidden it from them. but i want to find ways to manage during the week, because then i have a higher success rate of finishing the course out.
dr. barry told me this morning that it wont be a problem, because I am managing my mental health every day, with not a lot of support.
its just staying in the residential setting from monday to friday will be a whole new experience for me. one i am not used to. mark told me to bring lots of comfort objects. so i will. i’m going to bring my blanket and some stuffed animals. the littles need their stuffies.
he asked me what helps when i am triggered, i told him mostly sensory stuff, tactile things help. patting nitro, smelling the rose scent, wrapping up in my blanket, drinking something etc. things i can touch, feel, smell, taste, etc.
we are going to meet again in two weeks, i’ll have started the course by then and will have a week done. so we’ll meet after the first week for a kind of debrief.
I saw mark yesterday morning. He is my OT. It was a good apt. We filled out the application form for the course in substance use and misuse that I want to apply for. we just filled out a draft one and he’ll redo it and send it out to me in the post next week. i was surprised when filling it out as how much courses and things i had already done. i really do have a lot of experience. i didnt think i had that much at all. after seeing mark we saw dr. barry. i did not come out during our session, taylor had most of it along with liz. i was nearby though I know what went on during it. after we finished our apt with dr. barry our sister picked us up. she was dropping my dad off to see his brother and so she dropped mom and me off to my house. the kids werent with her. they stayed at their other grammas house. i was so tired when i got home. all i wanted to do was sleep. i ate lunch and then i cleaned up the kitchen and bedroom. then i couldnt stay awake any longer. i told my mom i was going to lay down and go to sleep for a while. i did not even hear her leaving my house thats how dead to the world i was. when i woke up it was close to the time my home help was coming. the home help is really nice. i think i told you i have a relief one this week a relief from the relief because the regular relief girl is on holidays. i got a text from the regular home help yesterday to say that she might be back to work the second week in september. she’s been out about six months. anyway when the home help came we made dinner, and then after dinner i went on the treadmill. i’m getting really fast on the treadmill now. if i do a pretty fast speed of over 4 i can do 1 mile in about 11 minutes. and it doesnt even leave me breathless. i can feel my fitness levels coming up. didnt do much else for the rest of the evening. watched a couple of shows on tv. my pa kristen will be here this morning. i usually see my nutritionist on thursday morning but she is off this week so it will be next tuesday before i see her. so probably we will just clean the house. I may take nitro out for a walk if the weather stays nice. i dont have to go anywhere else. if i take him out for a walk we can go for coffee as well. to get to the store where the coffee shop is it takes about 25 minutes and then another 25 minutes to get home again. that will be my exercise for the day then. anyway thats about it from here. thanks for reading.