I will not try to predict the future!

Well today Nova has given us the word vatic, google told me it meant describing or predicting what will happen in the future.
I do this a lot! I am forever trying to see into the future!
I know I shouldnt, I know I should live in the now. And actually, today in therapy we talked a little bit about that. We were discussing going for the smear test, and Eileen said to me, its a very present day thing, its happening now, and even though there are insiders in your system who are remembering things from the past, abuse from their past, that we need to live for now, be in the now, and having that test today was very much in the here and now!
It was my 39 year old self doing that!
I didnt try to predict what was going to happen after the test, eileen said we needed to break it down, into two parts. having the test today, and the results of it which I will get in a few months. No one knows what those results will tell me, there really is no point in trying to be vatic, I should just wait and see what happens!
I can do it! I am not going to think about it now! I will just go on with my life, and not try to foresee the future ahead of me!


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The bombylious bumble bee

Just a few minutes ago
In my room
Loud, and very scary
the bombylious noise
of a bumble bee
it freaks me out
I scream
so my dad
Has to come in
and kill it
then and only then
I calm down again

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Well I am stumped!

Well, Novas random word for today is, uleal!
I have no clue what it means!
I tried googling it, and got no definitions!
Anyone have a clue what this word means?
I am stumped!
It is a word I’ve never heard before!
So can some kind person help me out with it?
I even asked seari but she couldnt understand me!
She thought I said Leo!
So I’m all ears! if anyone knows let me know!


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Novas random word of the day, overt!

Is it good to be overt about things? Do you feel you should be?
I do. I feel being overt is the way to go!
If you want something, ask for it. If you need to express an opinion, do it.
Be overt about it! Dont beat about the bush!
People like people who say what they mean and means what they say!
At least I do!
I know most people like others to be straightforward, and open and honest too!
So if ya got something to say, say it!
Its the only way!
Who agrees with me?


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Novas random word of the day: transmitted

ice cold
numb to the bone
feelings transmitted
i feel so alone
shaking, quaking
long sharp breath
fear grips me
oh, shit
i cant see
now what do I do?
feeling, stuck
Just like glue?
Where to go from here?
Oh, who cares!
Its all the same
Isolated, feeling ashamed
Dont know why
All I want to do is cry!


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Picking lavender

Novas random word of the day is, sprig.


I just went outside in the garden, and I picked a few sprigs of lavender from my lavender plant.I am planning on using it tonight, planning on putting it on my pillow, before bed, and hoping that it will lull me into slumber.  We can hope, right? somethings gotta work, why cant it be lavender?  So that is one self care thing I did for myself today. My next thing on the list of self care things to do is brush my teeth, I know its a normal thing, but when your feeling low like I am, it becomes a struggle. So I am going to go in the bathroom, brush, then come back in the bedroom, put on some perfume,and hopefully the wasps will stay away from me. Lol.


Then, I am planning on going to see my friend, hang out, and maybe get tired out by doing that. so that hopefully tonight I can sleep better.


#NDRW- #70

What is lacquer?

So Novas word of the day for the 11th august was the word lacquer.

The british and irish use this word to mean something you put in your hair, like, we’d say, I sprayed my hair with lacquer.

Lacquer is hairspray, do you US or other European or Canadian folk use hairspray to keep your hair in place?

I use it a lot because I have a lot of little itty bitty bits of hair that are fly away and fly everywhere.

So we call that lacquer. Hair lacquer.

Strange word, isn’t it? I am only now realising how strange that is.

Hair Lacquer makes your hair all hard, so its hard to get it out once its in. You have to wash it out. Its disgusting really as your hair turns crispy lol.

Plus it also smells bad. And it is a chemical and well, those aren’t that good for you, are they?

Still even knowing that, I use it anyway. I guess I am a gluten for punishment.

So have you ever heard of hair lacquer?

#NDRW- #69