To be normal, what is that?

A long night
Filled with horrific dreams
Terror knows no bounds
A long night
Filled with pain
The awful pain
Of horrific night terrors
A long night
Where sleep doesn’t come
And being awake
Fearful, crying
Feels horrendous
A long night
Long, long night
Where all I want
Is some normality?
But…
Normality?
Whats that?
I guess I wont ever know

working on us week 13, sleep issues!

tonight for beckys working on us prompt, I am going to write a narrative, not exactly following the rules, but oh well. It is what it is, I just felt like writing down my thoughts on sleep and the issues surrounding it.
I dont sleep well at all. I suffer from dreadful insomnia. I also suffer from racing thoughts and super bad anxiety at night. I get intrusive flashbacks, nightmares, and really worrying thoughts, my mind goes 100 miles a minute at night. As soon as it gets dark, it starts. If I get 2 or 3 hours of sleep at night, its a lot. I do get a good night every now and then, but I have to be extremely exhausted for that to happen. Usually after 3 or 4 days of little to no sleep, I will crash hard, and it catches up with me.
I’ve tried a lot of things to help me sleep. Usually when I am unable to sleep I will write, I listen to music or watch tv or I read. I also sometimes take a hot shower, showering helps me calm down, and whenI write or journal it is theraputic.
I do take medication also to help me sleep. It mostly doesnt work though. I take fenergan and prazosin although the prazosin is going to be a no go soon and so I will move on to another med instead.
My symptoms always seem worse at night. I wish this wasnt the case. I know sleep is important so I do try to get it when I can.

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#whatif prompt 20.10.18

Today’s #whatif prompt:

floating fantasy

Feel free to respond in your favorite way whether it be a poem, short story, photo, video . . however you best relate to the prompt. Simply post your ideas, create a ping-back and use the hashtag #whatif.

******
A floating fantasy
For me
Is to be
Free
Free from nightmares
Night terrors
And free from the claws
Of pain, pain
That tends to drive me insane
Free from it all
For just one night
I would love it
And I would be
Full of happiness
Floating on air
But that my friends
That is just a floating fantasy
For me
Since it just is not
The way it is
On most nights
On most nights
Nightmares call
Night terrors send me
Reeling in fear
For what feels like
Forever

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Question of the day

Do you dream? If you do do you remember your dreams? Are they vivid?

My dreams are mostly vivid. sometimes I have night terrors and nightmares. I always almost always remember my dreams.
I hate that. I’d rather not remember them.
How about you?

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