A morning walk with mom

So I am at my parents house since yesterday. I stayed there last night after the awards ceremony. I was very tired after the ceremony and came back to mom and dads and slept for the entire evening. I must have needed the rest. I felt exhausted and I hadnt slept too good the night before sooo…..

But this morning I feel great! I got up and mom needed to go to the post office and credit union so I asked her if she felt like having a little company and if she did that I’d walk there with her. I said I needed the exercise and could do with a walk.

So we set off and had a really enjoyable walk together. The sun was shining. It was a lovely fresh morning. Bright and just a lovely day to walk. I thoroughly enjoyed the walk.

I came back, ate some lunch and am now just chilling out. Mood wise I feel fantastic. I am happy and content. I think all the walking must have did me good.

I’ll be heading home later this afternoon to my own house. My pa amanda is coming in the morning, I need to go home as she’ll be coming out to my own house. Tomorrow morning I have a busy morning as I need to go to my gp to get bloods done, go to the gym, do some house work etc. So a busy day ahead for me tomorrow as well. I am also going volunteering tomorrow afternoon too. Oh well I like busy so am glad I have things to do.

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attention! VJ’s weekly challenge!

So I have decided to participate in VJ’s weekly challenge this week!

VJs suggestions to Participate:

  • Create a post on your blog.
  • Tag it VJWC.
  • Link back to this page or leave a link to your post in the comments.
  • Read and comment on other posts.
  • Look forward to your responses.

My attention span is not great, tonight. I am trying to pay attention to my body, my mood, my anxiety levels, I am trying but failing miserably.

Its late. I should be in bed. Its now gone midnight. I cant seem to settle down. I am trying to listen to my body, pay attention to it, see what it is it needs.

So far nothing is coming to mind. Nothing is jumping out at me. There is no clarity. There is just, nothing.

I feel its important to try to figure this out, so I will keep being attentive, I will keep on trying, I will try and hope for the best with it. And I will hope for some good sleep tonight too!

https://onewomansquest.org/2018/10/01/v-j-s-weekly-challenge-17-attention/

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VJ’s weekly prompt: Baseline

VJ has a weekly prompt and this weeks was baseline. So I thought I’d participate in it.

 

*****

Lately my mood has been pretty baseline. I feel good some, bad some, but its all ok in the end I guess. I am motoring along which is good. I guess it is good to be at a baseline, not to low, but not super manic or high either.

 

 

I can handle things when they are predictable and steady.

A baseline means just that. Well for me, it does. A steady mood, just plugging along, just doing what I need to do to survive. I can handle that.

 

Mood is a funny thing. It can fluctuate in an instant. So I’ll take slow and steady and run with that.

 

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #17: Baseline

 

My morning

I’ve had a very productive morning. I did go back to sleep this mornning, I stayed up for an hour or there abouts, then I went back to bed at 8 AM, and I stayed there until 10 AM.
Mom came in to ask me if I wanted porridge for breakfast, so I said I did, I got up then, as I had to wash my hair, and go to the store.
I went to the store with mom, I bought my fruit for the week, and some milk and teabags. I didnt buy loads, but I did buy me some nice fresh strawberries, and a pineapple, bananas, pears and apples.
So I am all set now for the coming week, yay.
Im just chilling out now until dinner time, we’re having roast chicken for dinner today, I havent had chicken in forever on a sunday, we’ll have nice roasties with that, that dad had made. I have to avoid gravy though as the way he makes his is very fattening.
After dinner I will be going home to my own house, mom said she’d go with me, to help me put stuff away. Mood wise I am doing good. I feel good today which is nice.

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Meds

I have been so bad. I forgot to take my meds for a few days.

I just went out and took them. I hope I wont have any symptoms from the not taking them. I hope they’ll help.

My mood has dipped. I dont feel too good right now. I feel kinda shitty.

The pharmacy forgot to put my prazosin in my weekly script so I am without that now. It means very little sleep for me and probably nightmares too.

I hate nightmares, I get so afraid to go to sleep if I think I will get them.

My mind is on overload. I dont feel I can settle down yet. I have tried but wasnt abel to.

Oh well I think I’ll just go through email or read. That should make me slow down a little bit.

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Morning thoughts

I’ve been awake all night. But I am not tired. In fact I feel energised. Probably because I got so much sleep over the past day and a half. I slept well on wed night, and then slept most of thursday too. So yeah. It feels good to feel so refreshed.
I feel ready to face the day. I am going volunteering later this afternoon. I am looking forward to it.
Time to go have breakfast now.
carol anne

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todays Dr. Barry apt

so i saw dr. barry this morning. it went well. we talked about meds. she decided to increase my epilem, which is mainly for my seizures but I also use it for my mood. she said she would write an explicit letter to my gp, because since she is not my primary prescriber of that med she wasnt really comfortable reintroducing it. she did, but she doesnt feel to comfortable doing it. i told her my gp hadnt even rang me, he’d just given me the prescription that dr. barry wrote out. so she’s going to explicitly ask him to review me. she put me up to 800 mg a day of epilem. i was taking 400 at night. she also reintroduced my metformin for my diabetes. and the prazosin also at 3 mg at night. she said she’d leave the rest for now. and i’ll be going back to see her in two weeks for my usual apt. she said there was some new paperwork and guidelines now about the epilem. apparently it causes some foetal syndrome and it is not meant to be prescribed for women of child bearing age. i dont really have to worry about it since my ovaries are gone, and I have no chance of becoming pregnant. but she had to tell me anyway, she said that they dont use it for bipolar hardly now, and she only had one patient whose on it for their mood. since mine is primarily prescribed for epilepsy and only used for mood as a secondary med it doesnt really matter, but she still had to tell me. we talked a little around my surgery to remove my ovaries, she wasnt aware I had had both ovaries removed. she apologised about bringing that up since she knows its a topic i dont like talking about since it involves my not being able to have kids. we talked a little about sleep, I told her my sleep is not great lately, that i am getting around 3 to 4 hours a night if I am lucky. she said hopefully the prazosin will help that. we talked about therapy and i told her eileen is pulling back on working on trauma stuff for right now, that we’re going to work on managing overwhelm and managing feelings. we talked about the social worker mary, mary had spoken to dr. barry at their team meeting, she’d told her we’d met and what she’d been helping me with. so then we talked a little bit about the funding I applied for and that was an interesting conversation. i told her I’d asked mary to help me apply for more PA hours. it was a good apt. I forgot that I was due my depo injection today so didnt bring it with me. so now next tuesday I have to go to the clinic so the nurse who gives the depos can give me my shot.
carol anne

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