Another morning

So I got 2 hours of sleep. Thats it. Surprisingly though I am feeling fine. I dont feel too tired.

I got up at 7:45 when Nitro came in and stood by my bed and started panting and whimpering. He wanted out. So I got up, fed him and let him out. And now he’s happy again.

I plan on having a leisurely morning. I am going volunteering this afternoon. So the morning will be spent lazing about. Any tiredness I feel will hopefully disappear as the morning goes on.

Mood wise we’re doing ok. Nothing major there to report. Things seem to be good. Boy am I ever glad of that.

Making good use of my time when I am not asleep

well sleep wouldn’t come. so what did I go and do? I started messing around with a new gadget I got today. a techy gadget its called a plex talk its a player for playing audio files and recording audio files. its one especially for the blind. I downloaded the manual and started reading through it when I couldn’t sleep. and what do you know, I figured out how to work it! so now i’m good to go! I can work it and it works fine and I like it from the little bit I played with it. and I made good use of my time too! so yay! so happy! 😀

now im just reading blogs and listening to the radio. no sign of my friend sleep yet. doubt it is coming any time soon. I feel kinda agitated. edgy. activated. so I cant settle down. I might go read now. I didn’t do it earlier.

carol anne

scary wind

is me mia
im skard of tha wind
it blowin hard
and makin a woosh noise
I no lik it
no feelin safe
I not goin bed
I wrot Eileen
I telled her I no go bed
she mit rite back soon I hop so
carol anne puted the radio on
cuz tha wind so loud
is rain ote side to
it a bad nite and I no like that
is anyone else skard of wind
and loud storms
mia

Weight worries!

So today I am worrying. I feel like the weight I’ve lost is good, but I have a ton more to lose!

I feel like I’ll never get there! Its taking forever and I’ve been kinda stuck at 2 stone 3.5 pounds for weeks now!

I just want to shift the weight! I want to start losing properly again! Like, losing 1 or 2 pounds each week like I had been doing.

I’m a bit paranoid that I will never make it! I feel stuck.

I hope its just a blip, though. I think it is. All my weight is in my stomach, and today I worried about having saggy skin when I am done losing it. I hope I don’t!

I would be so upset if my body looked all saggy! That is just something I am not hoping will happen!

I worry a lot about it. I worry about a lot when it comes to weight. Its a real struggle for me. Weight and weight loss and related issues have always been a huge battle for me.

I guess I should be looking and noticing all of the progress I’ve made in the last couple of months. I know I have made huge strides, and lost over 10 percent of my body weight, but I dunno, I just, I feel like I have a long way to go yet.

The battle hasn’t been entirely won yet, but I am slowly getting there. Its just taking longer than expected.

Anxious

Woke up anxious. Ug. This sucks.

Woke at 6, couldn’t settle down again so got up.

Still feel really on edge and anxious. And god I hate anxiety.

I think I need to make tea. Mom and dad are still in bed but should be awake soon.

Im really not feeling good this morning.

Happy Saturday!

Happy Saturday everyone! How are you all doing!

Me I am fine. Feeling much better than I did last night. Which is nice!

I slept well which I am grateful for. Nitro slept well too! I think all that walking yesterday exhausted him! I did have to get up with him during the night though. He needed to go out. He came over and was peering into my face. So I got up and let him out and then we both fell back into a deep sleep.

I had weird dreams again though. I woke with a start a few times during the night. Luckily though I was able to go back to sleep again.

I am heading out this afternoon. I am going to my friend Normas house for a few hours. We’ll just hang out with each other and chat. I like doing that. Its nice to just hang out. I haven’t seen her in over 2 weeks now so it will be nice to catch up with her.

My mom and sister are going out too. They are bringing the kids to a local park. The weather is cooperating today, its dry, although tomorrow its meant to rain a lot here. And next week we are meant to get the tail end of hurricane Florence.

I am going to stay at mom and dads until Monday. I will go to therapy on Monday morning and in the afternoon my sister will drop me home.

Well that’s all for now. I have no more to say for now. Catch you all later.

carol anne