15 things people said that were code for I’m struggling? The mighty

A great article. Read on this is a good one!

https://themighty.com/2017/11/phrases-code-for-struggling-today-mental-health/?utm_source=newsletter_mental_health&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=newsletter_mental_health_2018-11-13

Monday giving thanks!

Thankful to be alive!
Thankful for kind work colleagues
Thankful for my dog
Thankful for good food
A nice warm house!
A hot shower
Clean clothes!
Music and books
Technology!
My friends!
My family!
Having hope!
Stability!
Perspective!
Dr. barry!
My therapist eileen!
My health!

So much to be thankful for…

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Busy afternoon

Its been a busy shift this afternoon on friendly call. I was the only volunteer heretoday trish is here, and one other volunteer came in for an hour. But other than that I was on my own! I had tons of calls! Lots to do! I am exhausted now. I am still in the office. I wont be finished up until around 5 PM. I cant wait to go home and get some food! I am starving. I have a lovely chicken curry for dinner today. I will enjoy it as I am really hungry. All of my clients were in good spirits today. It was really nice to see that. I was delighted that they were all doing so well. It made my day. I might have to come in again tomorrow. I don’t normally do Wednesdays but they are short staffed at the moment, so I said I’d help out if I was needed. I’m waiting for Brenda to email me back. I offered to come in if she needs an extra bit of help. Im free tomorrow afternoon anyway so it really doesn’t make a whole lot of difference to me if I have to come in. We’ll see though what Brenda says when she emails me. I’m tanked up on coffee now lol. I’ve had 3 cups this afternoon. I’m just happy the shift went off ok. I feel accomplished and very productive.

This is abuse

to shed a tear seems a crime
it happened before, not at this time
horrid, horrible, tragic
the abuse
never such a thing as calling a truce
i would beg, i would plead,
i would suffer, i would bleed
and at it’s end i’d be left alone
to make another
like a clone
Someone to carry on for me
to take the place where I couldn’t be

Old poetry

gripped by fear
she falls apart
tries to self soothe
nothing works
the flashbacks overcome her
vomiting for a whole hour
till her stomach is empty of everything
screaming silently
as a nurse holds her shaking body
is this how it is going to be forever?

Short staffed

I just had a call from my supervisor at friendly call. She aksed me to go in early today. She is out sick and she said they are very short staffed. She’s been out sick for a few days now. She is doing some of the calls from her house, that’s how short staffed they are. She told me she’d send me on a list of my calls soon. I told her that it wasn’t a problem, I can go in an hour earlier. Im not doing anything else so that will be fine. She asked me if I could get a taxi in, as trish cant leave the office to come get me. Not a problem. I already booked it. Now I just need to get myself ready to go. While I was on the phone with her I also made a point of telling her about the other volunteer who was there with me last Friday. She’s constantly letting all of the work to me and others, last week it was just me and her, and trish, but trish’s job isn’t to make calls although she will give a hand if needs be. Anyway last Friday the other girl, the one who doesn’t do her work, she was listening to music on her phone, instead of making calls. So I told Brenda about it. Brenda said she knows she’s doing it and she is going to see what she can do about talking to this girl, she’s done the job for over 5 years, so its possible she’s burnt out. But if she is, she needs to take a step back, not come in and say she’s going to do the work and then leave it all to the rest of us. I am looking forward to going in today. I only got a few hours of sleep but it will be ok. I enjoy my volunteer work. I always look forward to it. It gives me purpose. I love all of the clients. Some of them have a tough life. Some of them have no contact with anyone except us on a daily basis. So I feel its important that they get that call, someone to check in and see they are ok. Safe and ok. I am glad I am that person. Brenda said my list should be with me before the end of the morning. Now am off to get dressed and shower. I’ve already eaten breakfast and let nitro out. So he’s sorted. Now to just get myself ready…

I’m sleepless tonight

Thats me tonight. Not sleeping. Not a wink of sleep.
I tried everything. In the end I turned on the radio. Got up. Went online and read email and blogs. No point is staying in bed with my mind on overdrive.
Its just gone 3 AM now. I doubt I will get any sleep.
I made myself a cup of tea. I plan on reading for the rest of the night.
If I can and am able to I will sleep for 2 or 3 hours in the morning. Once its light outside.
Sucks to try to sleep but be unable to.