Poetry

when your engulfed in a memory
and you simply cant see
that its now not then
and you are safe
no one will hurt you again
when the pain overflows
and it has nowhere to go
your tears fall like rain
and you think you’ll go insane
then you reach out your hand
pat your dog
that right there is love
love and security
and so you can see
that it is 2017
you are safe
in another time and in another place

flashback trauma

flashbacks are kicking our collective ass. horrific memories are running rampant. taunting us. making us crazy. sending us spiraling. triggering us into a place of emotional instability.

Right now, I feel awful. I want an end to this pain. An end is all I want.

But it never ends. The pain threatens to take me down. If only the memories would stop?

my dog and me

awakened from a bad dream
I rush to the bathroom
i stand alone
shivering
shivering and shaking
crumple to the floor
scream please, no more
memories threaten to swamp me
i cower
feeling so many emotions
so much shame
so much pain
so much, way too much
turn on the shower
allow the water to run over my body
cool refreshing water
as it runs over me i sob
my head begins to throb
I take big gulping sobs
its so healing
this memory cant hurt me
i say over and over
I am safe, I am safe
Nitro walks in
Sticks his wet nose against me
turning off the shower
fall to the floor
pull him close
so many doggy kisses
so much love
its that love I have to keep close now
remembering he is here for me
no matter what
I am safe
He is here
I am safe
We are safe
We are safe and free

Virus-free. www.avast.com

Poetry

when your feelings are ablurr
all blurry
mixed with one another
and you mind twirls
swirls whirls
and your life is turned upside down
you feel so unsure
so insecure
so unsafe
all over the place
your life is spinning out of control
are you whole?
it doesnt seem like it
not one little bit
and you flit in and out
switching between parts
parts, that floaty feeling that dissociation brings
is it healing?
when your floating on the ceiling?

Virus-free. www.avast.com

Poetry

an innocent kiss
thats all it is
between a father and his daughter
why then do I think of my abuser?
its insane
i feel so ashamed
for equating the two
and my mind wants to say
this abuse from the abuser
didnt ever happen to you
stop making up lies
false tales
such lies
but you remember!
you can never forget
and all of these memories were all sparked
by just one innocent kiss

Virus-free. www.avast.com

todays writing prompt, favourite memory?

its hard to just pick one. i have a lot of favourites.

however one that automatically comes to mind is the memory of being in disneyworld in florida with my partner Jess and we were walking along the foothpath at the caribbean beach resort where we were staying. we stopped and climbed into a hammock, we were swinging to and fro, giggling and chatting about how the resort was so beautiful. All of a sudden a group of ducks, baby ducks, began walking along, we got up to take photos, started walking towards them, and then, all of a sudden they started following us! It was sooo swee.