besides my appointments today i had a pretty busy day. when i finished with dr. barry i rang mom and she said she was already at my house. my sister had dropped her there on her way to work. she got called into work to do relief and so she had to drop my mom off early. so i got the taxi home and then i sat chatting to mom for a while. she made me lunch. despite not losing any weight this week i still ate healthily. i had a turkey sandwich for lunch. mom ironed some of my clothes for going on vacation this weekend. she also put on some laundry for me. and did dishes. i wanted to recycle some clothes and donate them to charity. i had a couple of shirts that no longer fit me so i asked mom if she’d take them to the charity shop and she said she would. mom stayed at my house for 3 hours. when she left i was tired so i ended up laying down for a little while. i didnt sleep though. i just read my book. my home help came at 4. she helped me cook dinner. i had sweet potato fries and chicken wings for dinner. the wings were really spicy. i enjoyed them. when my home help left i layed on the couch watching tv. i put the kids horse blanket over me. its so fluffy and soft that i actually dozed off while i was under it. i slept for an hour or so. i woke up feeling refreshed. i’ve been online and watching tv for the rest of the evening. i watched long lost families, and law and order SVU, and I’m about to start watching I survived. I’ve already taken my night meds. I’m debating whether I should pick up the emergency prescription dr. barry gave me or whether i should just not take it. i dont have to take it. i could always take a couple of haldol with me on vacation this weekend in case of emergency. i should sleep ok on vacation though. i cant imagine i’ll have trouble sleeping. i’ll have my mom and sister in the apartment with me so i wont be alone. plus i’ll probably drink some alcohol so that will put me to sleep as well. my pa kristen will be here tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM. we have to clean the house. i dont have anything else that i really need to do. i’m going to ask her to drop me to mom and dads when we are finished. i’ll be there then until monday. well i wont be there i’ll be on vacation. i cant wait for vacation. i hope the weather is going to hold out for us. it said rain but hopefully they got it wrong. hopefully it will stay dry and we can go to the beach.
ok so my mom is really awesome, even though she said I was a whiner a little bit ago. she just did something lovely for me. i told her my back really hurts, and after giving me a painkiller she asked me if I’d like a hot water bottle to put on my back to ease the pain and so i said yes to that and she went and made me one. then she brought me extra pillows so now i am sitting up on the bed with two pillows at my back and a hot water bottle too. the heat is really helping my muscles to relax and i am hoping they will be less tensed up with the hot water bottle surrounding that area. mom said that if its not gone by monday that i should take the vivamo i have at home, they were from the last visit to my gp, he gave me vivamo to take the inflamation down and i have about 5 left so can take those. i am going away next weekend to killarney in co. kerry and i dont want this to be an issue during my trip or it will be spoiled. so i will do all i can to get rid of this pain before then.
my back is really sore and painful today. i think i’ve pulled it. probably from all the exercising i’ve been doing. when i bend forward it hurts. when i am sitting if i sit a certain way or try to straighten out my legs too far it hurts. getting out of bed hurts too. its a sort of shooting pain. not pleasant. i’ve taken a strong pain killer for the pain. hopefully that will work. i hope it doesnt make me go to sleep. i was going to drink a cup of coffee to make sure i didnt fall asleep but mom said that it probably wouldnt be a good idea to drink coffee and take painkillers as well. so i’m having tea instead. the pain has been there for 3 days, but i ignored it until today. its my lower back thats effected. i’m hoping its just a muscular thing and it will come right on its own given a day or two resting. i am not good with pain, i dont tolerate it well. i’d never be a good chronic pain patient. i’m just a very bad patient. my mom says i am a moan and a whiner. i’m like thanks very much i love you too. lol. i’m just gonna try to ignore it and do other stuff for the evening and hope it settles down soon.
saturdays been so good! I had a chilled out sort of day. I relaxed, I binge watched tv, I read, I slept. Well I didnt sleep much last night so I napped a little this afternoon. I hung out with mom for a while, we chatted about this and that while she painted the wall in the bedroom. I stayed in my pjs all day today. And I am not one bit sorry! Its been a really good day all around. Tonight my two aunts came over to mom and dads house. mom and both of my aunts were drinking, I wasnt. My diet is too important to me to drink and ruin my progress. But we chatted and listened to music. My aunts are moms sisters. I love hanging out with them. My sister did not come over today with the kids like she normally would on a saturday. She went to her partners family instead. They wont be over tomorrow either. Its so weird not to have the kids here. The house is so quiet without them. I just remembered I gotta take my night meds. I almost forgot about them. Better go do that now guys. Catch you all later.
good morning good morning hey ho to everyone. i didnt sleep. i tossed i turned but i didnt sleep. it was crazy. i was thinking too much. racing thoughts are not fun. my mind was whirling and swirling with thoughts. in the end i got up made coffee and listened to my book. i just gave up on getting sleep. i hope i can stay awake for therapy and then at the basement club afterwords. i am facilitating the members meeting today. that is an important job. i hope i do well at it. i’ve doen it before so i know what i have to do. it will be hard to concentrate since i didnt sleep. i plan on staying in the basement club until about 4 PM. i’ll prob crash tomorrow night. crash real hard. who knows maybe i will maybe i wont. i have my sleep med which is halcion and then i have fenergon too which also is for sleep. i also have haldol. hoping one of them works when i take them. its the knowing which one i should take. which is the best option.
this morning I woke up feeling incredibly thirsty. I mean I was gasping.
I drank 2 cups of tea, and some water. Then we went grocery shopping, and I bought a pepsi and drank that. I know I should have stuck with water but I felt I needed the sugar rush.
When I got home I drank more tea. I wanted to test my sugars but my metre is broken. I felt dizzy and disorientated.
I had taken my morning meds, so I just had to ride it out. I feel like it was not controlled well today. well at least not this morning.
Yesterday we also saw dr. barry. Our apt went well. Dr. Barry was sick with a cold, she’s always getting sick with coughs or colds. She said she blames her kids for that lol. Anyway, we talked about respite and I filled her in on how my week went there. I told her about the independent living skills course and that I’d applied to do it. I told her my mom wasnt too enthusiastic about it but that she hadnt given a reason. After talking about that we talked a little about therapy this week. And about Eileen’s upcoming holiday. Dr. Barry said we could get extra support from her while eileen was away. I was so thankful of that. Then I told her I had something to tell her. I keep getting dizzy every time I go from sitting to standing, or when I get out of bed, or bed over and stand back up. I get light headed and feel like I’m about to fall over. I havent actually fallen over but I’ve come very close. And with me living alone I’m very worried about it. Dr. Barry said its called posteral hypertention. She said its probably my lyrica thats causing my blood pressure to drop. She said she’d reduce my morning dose from 150 mg to 75 mg to see if that makes a difference. She also wants to refer me for a 24 hour blood pressure monitor. She’s going to talk to my gp about it. I love that dr. Barry is a general doctor too, because it means I can talk to her about medical stuff thats going on with me. It was a good appointment though and I go back next wednesday to see her again.