I practice grounding
I should be good at it now
I’ve had a lot of reason
to practice it this evening
I stamp my feet
put on music
take a shower
all things
to help me cope
with the immense feelings
i am experiencing
In the hope that
one or all
of these distraction techniques
will allow me
to be able
to breathe
and calm down

giving up on sleep

Well after the rain woke me I am now wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I have been reading blogs, and I tried to fall asleep again, but nope, not happening, so, I give up. I got up, made a coffee, and put on the radio.
Its only 4:30 in the morning so still early here.
I’ve been up since about 2:30.
Its gonna be a long day I think. My PA comes at 9, she is starting a new shift with me this morning, from 9 until 11, then I have therapy at 11:30.
By the time I get done with my therapy session it’ll be 1 Pm, so time for lunch, and then I work on friendly call in the afternoon.
So I have a very busy day ahead, but thats good, cuz I like busy.
I feel a little bit blah this morning, my mood is a bit low.
Hoping the cup of coffee perks me up a little!

Woke up in a bit of a func!

I am in a bit of a bla mood today! I woke at 6, made a cup of tea, decided to just lay in bed and put the radio on, it was way too early to get up!
I managed to fall back to sleep until about 8:30. Then I called my mom. Thats what I do every morning, it would feel so weird if I didnt talk to her first thing!
I decided then to stay in bed for a while longer, and now I am regretting it!
I feel so lethargic! I knew I should’ve just gotten up! I eventually did, at 10:30, made more tea, and now I’m just on the computer reading blogs.
I figure its going to be a very slow day!
I am waiting for my sister to come over! She’ll either be over in between jobs, or else she’ll come right after she gets done with work.
She’s gonna clean the dog poop in the yard, what a nice job, not! Lol!
I have to work, but I so dont want to!
I am just not feeling it today!
Ga I hate days like this!


Feeling so anxious this morning!

My anxiety this morning is so awful! Its a myth that good sleep gets rid of anxiety. I mean that is if I got good sleep, I didnt. I literally got about 2 hours of sleep. I am not feeling so good since I woke up at around 6 AM.

I feel so sluggish. And so, so anxious. I am jittery, agitated, overwhelmed. Alls I gotta say is I am thankful for therapy in an hour!

Now i just have to get there in one piece!

Its horrible out there this morning, really wet and windy. I am sitting here, mug of coffee in hand, contemplating the day ahead. My brain cant seem to focus. Thats why I am drinking coffee, to try to get my mind focusing.

This anxiety is a killer. I just chewed down my morning meds. I dont take an anxiety med in the morning. I do take prozac though. I am hoping that will do something for my mood, I feel kinda low this morning and I am really hoping the low wont last the entire day.

outa wack!

I’m really out of sorts!

I went to my parents, was going there tomorrow anyway, so said I’d go today instead.

I feel so irritable! Liz is close by!

I can tell because I am moody and grumpy and I know she felt that was since she woke up this morning!

I am also anxious, again! Ug sigh!

I made some tea! Tea makes everything better, as Emily always says.

I hope she’s right! I am just so over the anxiety and feeling so anxious.

Its incredibly frustrating!

If anyone has a few suggestions for me on how to feel less anxious, I’d love to hear them!

My moods dipping and I want to bring it up again!

No work today, and heard from Eileen

So I didnt go in to work today. I woke up feeling terrible. I decided the best thing I could do was stay home. No point in me going in there and trying to listen to others when I am not doing well myself.
I still feel very anxious. I woke up a few times during the night with crippling anxiety. I even got up once and went out to the kitchen to get a glass of water and something to eat.
I really do think the best thing is for me to just stay out of work today. I do my job much better when I am in a good mood, and feeling positive and ok in myself.
Eileen texted me last night. She said she was finished her training and she was looking forward to seeing us on monday. I texted her back, wishing her a nice weekend and I said I couldnt wait until monday to see her.
It was nice to be able to go to sleep knowing she’d texted us. Felt great just hearing from her.

feeling low

I’m struggling. I started to get triggered about half an hour ago. I feel really low right now. My emotions are all over the place. I just feel really really bad.
thank god i dont have to go anywhere tomorrow. i can just chill at home. i am so glad. my pa nuala is back tomorrow, after six weeks off work with a broken ankle. i was going to take nitro out walking but i dont think I’ll do that, I think I’ll have her do housework for me since I didnt get it done today.
right now i feel like jumping out of my skin. everything around me is feeling horrible. i am an anxious mess. words are failing me too so i am sorry if this post sounds a little jumbled.
at least i have nitro. he’s calm. he calms me down. he’s always so laid back and i love that about him. he can calm me down on my worst days and my worst nights. i will cuddle him and instantly i feel better.
i hope this emotional pain i am feeling doesnt last all night. i didnt sleep good last night and i was hoping for a better night tonight but it isnt looking too good for me. oh well. if i dont slleep i will write, i will watch tv, and i will read. i should try to finish off my maggie hartley book, since the new cathy glass one comes out on the fifth and i cant wait to read that.
if anyones around I could use an ear. I’d appreciate some supportive words and some friends right now to help me to get through this tough night.
thanks guys love you all xoxo