30 days of writing challenge day 18

day 18: Post 30 facts about yourself

1 I have one sister and no brothers.
2 I have been blind since birth.
3 I was born 13 weeks premature.
4 I am a type 2 diabetic.
5 I have had 3 guide dogs in my life.
6 I have one niece and one nephew.
7 I’ve studied social work, childcare and IT.
8 I live in cork, in ireland.
9 I have brown hair now but when I was a kid it was black.
10 My eyes are different colors.
11 I was in stage school for years when I was young.
12 I did two diplomas at once a few years ago.
13 I used to be a youth club leader.
14 I’ve visited england, france, spain and the USA.
15 I’ve been to disneyworld in florida twice.
16 I’ve been to mall of america.
17 I love starbux. Ginger bread lattes and vanilla lattes and caramel mackiatos are my favourite.
18 I am allergic to cats.
19 I have had my ovaries and gall bladder removed.
20 I have been able to touch type since age 9.
21 I was diagnosed with depression at age 17.
22 I had anorexia in my teens but it was changed to bulimia later on.
23 I can speak french.
24 I love collecting things especially ty beanie babies, stickers, and mugs.
25 I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember.
26 I am deathly afraid of bees wasps and all bugs actually.
27 I love anything chocolate.
28 I’m very sensitive and have been told I am overly so.
29 I’m afraid of the dark, even though I cant see.
30 I have a huge collection of stuffed animals. My favourite is a winnie the pooh and a rabbit named nibbles.

Weekend, thoughts and urges

I got home Sunday evening from Dublin. I was sad the weekend was over but it was good to be home too. Nitro jumped all over me when he saw me. It is safe to say, I think he was glad to see me. I felt good having had the break away. I felt refreshed and recharged. Late Sunday evening Jasmine, who is an insider who is preoccupied with death and suicide was close to the front and started feeling apathetic and depressed and was thinking again about death and dying. She didnt plan anything but the thoughts were there and they started filtering through to me and making me feel bad. I told her to try to think about the nice things we’d done over the weekend, that she’d been part of. She did try but it wasnt working for her and she could not shake the preoccupation and the thoughts of ending it. Eventually she emailed our therapist and told her how she felt. I didnt sleep very much last night due to all this going on. Then in the middle of the night I started to feel kinda sick. My stomach started acting up. At first I thought it was a reaction to Jasmines feelings but soon it was clear that it wasnt. I’m not sure what caused it whether it was something we ate or the amount of alcohol we drank but we felt sick for hours. I didnt go in to college yesterday. I mostly slept all day. I feel much better now and will go in to college this morning. I need to finish up my team work portfolio. I have a little bit to do on it and it is due on Thursday and I dont want it hanging over my head so will do it today.

A to Z

A- Age:body age 35, insiders of all ages in here
B- Biggest fear: Ending up dead due to comitting suicide

C- Current time: 6:31 AM
D- Drink you last had: Coffee
E- Every day starts with: checking my phone
F- Favorite song: Hello by Adelle
G- Ghosts, are they real: Yes
H- Hometown: Cork, Ireland
I- In love with: My family most of the time, I love my psychiatrist and therapist and friends in a non sexual way
J- Jealous of: People who have their sight
K- Kids: none
L- Last time you cried: Its been about a week
M- Middle name: Majella
N- Number of siblings: 1 younger sister
O- One wish: To be happy
P- Person you last called: My partner
Q- Question you’re always asked: whats it like to be blind?
R- Reason to smile: my dog Nitro
S- Song last sang: taylor swifts new song cant remember the name of it now lol
T- Time you woke up: 5 AM
U- Underwear Color: Nude
V- Vacation destination: I’d love to go to australia
W- Worst habit: Overanalysing
X- X-Rays you’ve had: chest
Y- Your favorite food: any pasta dish, pizza, chilli cheese burgers, taco fries
Z- Zodiac sign: Aries

I dont like Mondays

Even though I have a later start. I still hate Mondays. I dont start college until 10:30 so I should like them. But no. I ended up not doing much yesterday. Which sorta annoyed me because I feel I should be taking all the opportunites I have to enjoy my weekends. But remember I said on Saturday night I was feeling triggered and it was a weird night and I didnt sleep? Well I made up for that yesterday afternoon. I slept most of the afternoon. But well I suppose I needed the rest. I had dinner at my parents then headed home to my own house and just slept. Mom was going to my aunts last night for drinks, and I was meant to be going but I decided I wouldnt bother. I didnt go last weekend either. I’m trying to get back to healthy eating again and so I didnt want to drink alcohol. I had a pretty unhealthy breakfast this morning though. Two sausage rolls which have puffed pastry on the outside of them. And a bottle of orange soda. So yeah, not very healthy. I havent seen my nutritionist in a few weeks and I really got off track in that time. I go back to her this Friday so I am trying to get back on track a little before then. I was worried about my exam that I did on Friday. I am hoping I did well on it but part of me thinks I might have made some mistakes and lost a lot of marks. I hope thats not the case though. i wont get the results for about two weeks. I’ll get the results of the exam and of my assignment at the same time. I am hoping I get a distinction on the module. Everyone was pretty quiet the last few days. The alters insiders I mean. I think everyone was feeling the effects of the tiredness and just wanted to chill out. The triggers around last week and the police report that Dr Barry did up seem to be less. I’m glad about that. It certainly makes life a lot easier to cope with.

30 days of writing challenge day 13

Day 13: What are you excited about

I am going away for a weekend on November 20th. Will be going to dublin for two nights, staying in a hotel, going xmas shopping, having a great time I hope. I’ll be going with my mom, sister, and some of my sisters partners family. We’re celebrating his moms birthday. Its a girly weekend as its only all girls going. I’m really excited and looking forward to the weekend. I’ll even take the Friday off of college so it will be a 3 day weekend.

Its been another crazy sorta morning

I sware, if I get stuck in traffic one more morning I’ll scream. I left my house at 7:45 this morning, and I only got to college at 8:40 AM. The traffic was crazy. I dont even know what made it so crazy, it just was. I think partly it was because it was bin day, that always slows things down. But it drives me nuts to be stuck in the car, and Nitro doesnt like it either. He’s so big, and the car is small, and he cant get into a comfortable spot to rest. I have a lot to do in college today. I have a mock exam, the real one is on Friday. I think it is good that we get a practice run, it really helps as the real thing is pretty similar to the mock one. This exam will be a 2 hour one, I think there is a lot in it. It is in word processing, and once its done I’ll be finished that module. The next module I am doing is excel. I’m pretty nervous about that, because I literally know nothing about excel, so if things go wrong, as they probably will, with my screen reader and stuff, I wont be able to help because I dont know what I am doing. I hope I will get a good grade though in the word processing exam. We need to know things like how to create a table, a template, insert graphics, how to do mail merge and print labels, etc for this upcoming exam. We also need to know all the other stuff that we learned, about formatting documents, reviewing them etc. Its a combination of all that we’ve done since we started the module. I must say though I got a good nights sleep last night. So I feel really refreshed. A good nights sleep always helps me concentrate better on what I am doing.

Doggy adventures

well, it is me, nitro. my mommy isnt very pleased with me. know why? because i was naughty! heres what i did today.
first during college, i decided that while my mommy was working, i’d get up and take off. i thought that’d be a fun game to play. all of a sudden mommy reached down and tried to feel for me under the table, but i wasnt there. i was at the other end of the room with my lead in my mouth trying to get the lecturer to take me for a walk! what fun that would have been! but mom spoiled it on me by grabbing me and hauling me back and making me go back under the table.
then while we were waiting to see the psychiatrist dr Barry, i decided to get all restless so mommy had to take me out to pee. after i went pee she told me to find the door, but would i? oh no. i decided there was more grass that i wanted to sniff first. so i ran over to it and she lost her way and we couldnt get back inside! needless to say she wasnt pleased with me! she ended up ringing the receptionist and dr barry looked out and saw us and came to get us. when dr barry called me i ran right over to her! all pleased with myself. but that was short lived. mommy told me to hurry up and go inside and stop acting like a little puppy! but i am still a puppy even though i’m 5!
so what do you all think of my adventures? woof woof!
Nitro