Kindle fire, apple watch and selling stuff

I bought myself a kindle fire 7 inch tablet. It came this morning. I got it on I got a really good deal, it was on offer for 40 pounds. I couldnt pass it up when it was that cheap. I’m really excited to set it up and start using it. The good thing is its an all in one tablet, as well as being a kindle and being able to let me read kindle books. And there is a screen reader on it that makes it accessible. I think its called screen view or something like that. It also has the new alexa ap on it, which is kind of like seari on the I phone. I am charging it right now, and then I will get my sister to help me set it up later today. I’m sure I’ll have a lot to learn about using it. I have the kindle ap on my phone, but this will be much better I think. So yeah I’m pretty happy.

Another thing I’m happy about is the fact that I got myself an apple watch. I’m on this email list where people sell stuff that they dont want. So this guy on there was selling an apple watch. Again I got a bargain. Its a first generation watch, so not the latest one, but thats ok. I dont mind that its not the latest model. I just payed for it this morning too so I am hoping he might ship it today and it will get here next week. I am having it sent to my parents house and I’m on respite next week but I can get it when I return. I’ve always wanted an apple watch. Especially since there are a lot of fitness things you can do with it. And you can even take phone calls on it. And do I messaging. I think it will be so cool. You can also check email on it, and download aps to it, and face time with your friends on it.

I’m selling a few things myself. I have a mini disk player that I never use so I sold it again on the email list I am on for selling second hand things. I also sold some audio books that I am done reading. I sold the twilight series books and I also sold two other books called a fractured mind, about a man with did, and unbearable lightness, by portia de rossi, who is ellen de generes’s wife. Its about her struggle with an eating disorder. I need to go to my house today and pack everything up so I can ship them to the sellers on Tuesday morning after the bank holiday because they already sent me the payments for the stuff.

40 Get to know me questions

1. Whats your philosophy in life?

You only live once

2. Whats the one thing you would like to change about yourself?

My weight

3. Are you religious or spiritual?

Its complex

4. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

I am definitely an extrovert but depending on who is out different insiders present in different ways

5. Which parent are you closer to and why? My mom not sure why we just have a good relationship but we’ve been building it and working hard at it for the lastt 18 months.

6. What was the best phase in your life?

Probably the year I turned 21, I was oblivious to a lot back then, how things change.

7. What was the worst phase in your life? 2006, i had so many suicide attempts that year.

8. Is what youre doing now what you always wanted to do growing up? No. The thing with dissociative identity disorder is we want to do everything but there are too many insiders who have too many differing views and personalities..

9. What makes you feel accomplished? Checking things off my to do list

10. Whats your favorite book/movie of all time and why did it speak to you so much?

fave books are all of the cathy glass books, her stories about fostering resonate with me because I can relate to the kids in them, I can relate to things that happened to them in their pasts. Fave movie is the color purple because it is so powerful and has such a powerful message.

11. What is a relationship deal breaker for you?

If they are violent, I’m out

12. Are you more into looks or brains?


13. Would you ever take back someone who cheated?

No way

14. How do you feel about sharing your password with your partner?

I have done it. She knows it.

15. When do you think a person is ready for marriage?

Not sure, I’ve never been married, and marriage for me is not on the cards.

16. What kind of parent do you think you will be?

I’m afraid parenthood isnt on the cards for me either, I’ve had my ovaries removed, but if I had had the chance, I think I’d have been a great parent, but then, dont most people think so?

17. What would you do if your parents didnt like your partner?

I’ve been through this and I told them they had to suck it up.

18. Who is that one person you can talk to about just anything?

My partner, she knows everything about me practically

19. Do you usually stay friends with your exes?


20. Have you ever lost someone close to you? Yes and not just by death sometimes we do by distance

21. If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?

Someone to cheer me up

22. Whats an ideal weekend for you?

Night out with family.

23. What do you think of best friends of the opposite sex?

I dont think its doable

24. Do you judge a book by its cover?

I’d like to think not

25. Are you confrontational?

No not at all, but ask liz that, she’ll have a different story.

26. When was the last time you broke someones heart?

I have never done that thankfully

27. Would you relocate for love?


28. Did you ever write a journal?

Yes, I’ve had many

29. What are you most thankful for?

family, my guide dog, friends, my partner, my did system of alters

30. Do you believe in second chances?

Yes, most definitely

31. Whats the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?

My mental illness

32. What is your idea of a perfect vacation?

Laying in a hammock at disneyworld in florida

33. What did your past relationship teach you?

My current partner has been my only partner

34. What are your thoughts on online dating ?

well since me and my partner met online I’d say go for it.

35. Whats on your bucket list this year?

dont know nothing really i try to just get through each day and dont think big.

36. When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?

going on the tower of terror in disneyworld

37. What is the craziest thing youve ever done and would you do it again?

I cant think of anything lol i mustnt be to crazy

38. If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would you wish for?

for my partner to get out of psych residential, to move in with her, and to live happily ever after

39. Whats your biggest regret in life?

Not having kids

40. What do you think about when youre by yourself?

all sorts of crazy things

Weight, weight loss!

Yes, I’m still trying desperately to lose weight.

I feel as if I am miserably failing at it though. I havent seen my nutritionist Karen in a couple of weeks, due to being in hospital.

Before I went into hospital, I weighed 100.7 KG. Yesterday I had the nurse weigh me and I was 99.2 kg. So I must be doing something right.

I have been trying to eat less junk food and eat more healthily. But in the hospital I havent been good about eating much of anything that constitutes healthy food.

I am hopeful that I can keep going though and that the numbers on the scales will keep going down.

Baby steps, right?

being on the ward: rambles and thoughts

my mom visited me last night. i was glad to see her. she brought me some nice treats. an easter egg, some crisps, cookies, other chocolate, and some drinks. all yummy things which i am in need of since my diet in here consists of cerial, toast, yoghurts, and tea and coffee. and possibly ham sandwiches if they are there at supper time. its a nightmare and the food in here is so disgusting. half the time when you get your meal its almost cold. i’m like nooooo i’m not eating that!
mom stayed for about an hour. she gave me the card from my sister for my birthday. i opened it and my sister had given me 50 euros. i need to text her this morning to say thanks for that, it was kind of her to think of me and give me that much money. now i have enough money between what my mom gave me and what my sister gave me to get an external hard drive for all of my music. yay so happy about that.
after mom left i felt much brighter. and then dr. barry came in and that even lifted my mood more. so it turned into a good night. things on the ward were quiet. no major incidents. i did not take my meds until 11:30. before that I had some tea and I ate some of the biscuits mom had given me. tea is usually served at around 10 PM. one of the nurses usually brings it to my bedside instead of making me go out to where they serve it. so anyway i told rebecca who was my nurse that I’d wait until 11:30 to take my night meds. The later I take them the better, and the more I will sleep. And I did sleep.
I took a while to fall asleep but once I did I slept for around 4 hours without waking which is good for me. I woke at 4 AM and went out to the nurses station. One of the nurses, my favourite nurse, Marie, talked to me for a while and then brought me back to bed. I managed to fall back to sleep for another 2 hours. At 6 AM I got up and went back out to the nurses station. Maureen was writing her reports and said she’d bring me a cup of tea just as soon as she finished. So then I went back into my bedspace and got online. And I stayed online until breakfast time. Maureen did bring the tea and it was lovely.
I ate breakfast this morning. I usually eat breakfast most days, because it is the only meal I really enjoy. This morning I had cerial and toast with marmalade on it. Its saturday so going to be quiet today on the ward. There wont be much going on. No groups unless the student nurses try to do some but there are no OT’S and no nurse therapists on duty today and normally at the weekend its just quiet.
I need to text Eileen to let her know I am in the hospital. I will do that this morning. I’ve kinda been avoiding it. Not sure why. Maybe because I feel she’ll be disappointed with me for going back into the hospital and being unable to cope with the triggers around the ritual dates and my birthday. I know thats highly unlikely but part of me worries that she will.

I wont see mom again until Monday or Tuesday. She doesnt drive and she hasnt got a lot of money to get taxi’s. I understand and am ok with just calling her instead of physically seeing her.
Not sure what I am going to do for the day. Probably a lot of being online catching up on blogs, doing email, maybe watch some tv shows since I have my external hard drives with me.
Hopefully I’ll have a good day. So far I am feeling good so thats positive.

Med mix up

so this morning I noticed there were only 4 tablets in the little cup that I get my meds in.

I took them but was like what is going on here! So I said to the nurse amanda, what meds did you give me?

She said she gave me glucophage, lyrica, and keppra, so I was like what about my prozac? I am on 60 mg of prozac!

She said the doctor never wrote you up for it! You didnt get it yesterday either! That says a lot about why I was so down and sleeping a lot yesterday. I didnt have the antidepressant in my system.

She said she’d sort it out before 10 AM this morning. Its weird how you can miss a med for only 2 days and really feel the effects of it. I had a pretty bad effect to missing the prozac. Hopefully she’ll sort it out for me and I can get my dose for this morning.