I’m gonna Be brave, taking a big leap today

so i’ve made a decision. Today I am going to join two new groups.
The first group is a singing group. it is run by an organisation called the next step. this organisation runs creative workshops for people with mental illness. they run a lot of different workshops, in art, singing, knitting and crochet, yoga, woodwork, dance, etc. a friend of mine goes to their singing workshop that runs each tuesday afternoon, and so today i thought i’d go along too with her. i love to sing, and maybe it will be fun.
the second group i am going to join is a peer support group. its called the friends group and is run by the organisation shine, that runs the basement club I go to. the friends group is run every tuesday evening from 5:15 until 7:15 pm. today I am taking the leap and joining it. i’ve wanted to join for months now. i’m finally ready today to take that first step and join.
I feel apprehensive, vulnerable, a little scared, but ready. Ready to face the challenges head on. Ready to step out of my comfort zone and hopefully make some new friends and connections.

Life is…

The adventure of life is to learn. The purpose of life is to grow. The nature of life is to change. The challenge of life is to overcome. The essence of life is to care. The opportunity of life is to serve. The secret of life is to dare. The spice of life is to befriend. The beauty of life is to give.
William Arthur Ward


god its friday already. where did the week go?
i have so much to do today. i will be seeing karen o my nutritionist at 9 AM. she is going to weigh me. i weighed myself when i joined slimming world on monday but i dont know, i dont really trust my weighing scales all that much. every time i’ve weighed myself recently on it it says i am up but i dont know how that can be because i have really cut back on what i am eating. i did slip up once this week and ate some chocolate but that was only once and it wasnt that much chocolate. i hope when i see karen that i’ll have lost some weight. i got weighed at the doctors on monday and was 104 kgs then. i’ll be depressed if i havent lost any.
after i see karen i am going to go to the basement club. there is this meeting on there today something about evaluating the centre and making some changes to how things work. they’ve asked as many members as is possible to go along. thats not happening until 1 PM but i’ll spend the morning there and just hang out with the members and chat.
My OT mark got back to me yesterday and wants to meet me next wendesday at 8:15 AM to talk about going back to school. he knows how i feel, that part of me doesnt want to go back at all but part of me does. he has said we can discuss it and trash some ideas out and see what becomes of it. its good we’ll meet on wednesday because that is when i see dr barry and I have to get my xeplion injection then too. actually thats another thing i need to do today is pick up my meds. i’d forgotten about that.
my pa is coming today at 3 for four hours. i need to go grocery shopping with her. i have lots of groceries to buy because since I’ve started on the slimming world diet I need to buy ingredients to make certain dishes, like chilli, cottage pie, spaghetti bolognese etc. i’m going to be really organised and make things in advance. i have a lot of spices to buy also but I am going to buy them in aldi because they are half the price in there. as well as grocery shopping I need to clean my house, do my ironing, collect meds, go to the bank link to get money out, so I have a lot to do. I also need to fit in having something to eat too somewhere in that time frame.
I am thinking about staying in my parents house tonight. I am going to a womens wellbeing work shop on saturday that the basement club are running for a couple hours. its my pas birthday on saturday as well. i got invited to her party but i dont know if i’ll go, probably i wont. its hard to go to a party when you dont know anyone there and it will probably be all of her family members. i have a present for her though and a card which i will give her today. the present is perfume, sunkissed glow by J lo.

Slimming world

so i did it. i joined slimming world. its kinda like weight watchers. i joined for 3 months. mainnly to get the recipes, which arent available if you arent a member. but there are also other features that i can use, like a food diary, and other weight loss tools. i’ve already downloaded some of the recipes and am going to try them over the coming days. i downloaded the recipes for cottage pie, beef lasagne, chicken tikka massala, spaghetti bolognese, and chilli con carne. yes i love spicy foods. slimming world is different to weight watchers in that certain foods like fruit, vegetables and potatos rice and pasta and eggs are all classed as are free foods, while others are classed as sins. you can have up to 15 sins a day. there are also healthy A and healthy B which are dairy products, mostly. i’m determined to do this. now i’m off to find a nice chicken curry to cook too lol. I’m highly motivated!

What I am grateful for today…thankful Tuesday

My warm cosy house
My beautiful guide dog Nitro
My mentor c
Good friends
Activities I can go to every day
The support of my psychiatrist and therapist
My family
Music, reading, and other distraction techniques
That I have enough to eat
My health
My life