Shopping disaster

OMG. I just went grocery shopping with Kristen. We were going up and down the aisles, getting what I needed. The next thing I knew, a whole tray of croissants went on the floor. My purse had knocked them. The people who were working there were really annoyed. It was a fucking accident! They kept giving us dirty looks and talking amongst themselves I’m sure about what happened and what I did. Kristen was going to report them to management. But I told her not to. I feel really bad now. I really didnt mean to knock them I was just distracted and didnt take care when I passed them. God, sometimes I’m so clumsy.

Anxious tonight

my anxiety is very high tonight. i find myself overthinking about everything. its making me feel crazy. i cant sleep probably because i slept too much today already. i really need to just get up and go to bed at normal hours like most people do. i know if this keeps up my mood will plummet. am really hoping that will not happen. dont want to spend the rest of this weekend sad and depressed.

had my pa today no contact from the respite centre the waiting is hard

so kristen came this morning. she was early by about 20 minutes. she said the traffic was light. which is strange as on the radio i heard there had been a big accident on a road near where she lives. so i was sure she’d be late and then she wasnt. i had some breakfast when she got here. just fruit and toast. i had already made myself some coffee and was still drinking it when she arrived. i was supposed to go to the grocery store to get a few things. i asked her to get some paper so i could make a list. then when she did and i started naming stuff out to her i could only come up with two things i wanted. so i figured i’m not going to go to the store just for two things, so kristen said she would drive up the street to a little store thats nearby and buy what i needed. first though before she did that she did the housework. she did laundry and mopped the floors, vacumed and made the bed. oh and did dishes. she’s a fast worker! everything was done with about 30 minutes left of her two hours. she went and got my stuff and then i told her to go early if she wanted to. i had already rang my taxi to pick me up to go to the basement club and was just waiting for it to arrive. she reminded me to call the vet because last week when i finished i forgot to book nitro in for this coming thursday, like i forgot to tell the girl on reception that the vet told me to come back next week. so yeah. did that and everythings ok for thursday, i’ll take him right after i see karen. i got kristen to make me a lunch to take to the basement club. i took a ham sandwich and a low cal hot cup packet of soup. i’m usually not that organised and then i either end up eating unhealthy food or not eating any lunch at all. not today though. i was good and did manage to eat. i’m still waiting to hear from the respite place about possible dates and about me coming to tour the place. i was told last week that someone would be in contact with me about setting up things but so far nobody has. so i rang again yesterday to try to speak to someone. i did not get to talk to anyone though. they just told me that i would have to wait until i was contacted. they didnt give me a time limit on when that would be though. its pretty frustrating. i’m anxious to know what the place is like, what respite will be like etc. will i like the place? what are the staff like? what are the other people who go there like, what types of disabilities do they have? will i have much in common with any of them? lots of questions and no answers. it makes for a lot of nervousness and anxious thoughts. hoping to hear something soon.