Letter to my 7 year old self

An older prompt from a few weeks ago, but I am going to do this one!

Todays #whatif prompt:

Would you write me a letter?

Feel free to respond in your favorite way whether it be a poem, short story, photo, video . . however you best relate to the prompt. Simply post your ideas, create a ping-back and use the hashtag #whatif.

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To little 7 year old me,

Im sorry you have to be hurt. I know your scared. I know people are constantly hurting you. Stay strong. Things will get better. You just have to hope, keep on hoping. Never ever give up hope that things will change. Because, they will.
I want you to know, I love you. You are brave and strong. You have to be, I know that. But you are a fighter. You never gave up hope that things would change.
I love your determination. I love your tonasity. I love your strength. I love your courage. You are a brave little girl.
Always remember there are people who care. They are there, even when it seems there’s no one there. They are there, and they will come help you out when times get rough.
There are very kind people. Like that student social worker. Like that staff member who treated you with respect and like you were a somebody. They are there.
Remember I am here too. I will always protect you. I will always love you. Remember to reach out if you need to. Dont go it alone. Reach out and get the help you deserve and remember, your a very special and courageous person.
Love,
Your grown up self

Virus-free. www.avg.com

A thank you to Eileen…

Eileen

Thank you for always being there for me. For helping me to find the words when I cant.

For sitting with me, validating me, for understanding where I am coming from.

Thanks for your love, support and most of all your kindness and understanding about why I do what I do. It means so much to me.

You’ve shown me over and over that your gonna be there for me, no questions asked. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have you in my life.

Thank you for making me feel safe, and understood, and for giving me a safe space to explore and discover things about myself that are hard to talk about.

I am so grateful to have that. You make me feel so good about myself, that I actually want to do the work, therapy isnt so bad, after all!

Thanks again, I love you and I hope to continue to explore my past with you, and my present, to figure out some more things about myself.

Wendy, age 23

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Memories of my gramma

So today while cleaning out a drawer I found a folder. In it I found letters that my gramma wrote to me when I was 9 years old. So they are 30 years old. I found 3 letters. I got mom to read them to me. It was bittersweet. I was moved to tears by what she said in them. She said she wished she could come to my school to visit me, but that she felt too unwell to make the long journey there. But she hoped some day she’d be able to come. She never did. She suffered from severe and prolonged depression all of her life. She would spend weeks and months in bed. I always remember that about her I remember going to visit her at weekends and sitting with her and we’d watch old movies and chat. I miss her so much. She died when I was 14, she died from breast cancer that spread all over her body. Finding those letters today brought back a lot to me. In them she was telling me about family, and in each of them she said she enclosed 2 pounds, that was a lot of money back in 1989, I remember having money to go to the store and buy candy, and all of my friends in school were jealous of me. I do remember her also writing to me when I was in school and staff reading out the letters to me. I’m so glad I kept them. Having them is so important to me. It helps me feel connected and close to my gramma, who I loved dearly.

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G2k

 

 

 

revenge of eve G2K

Eve over at revenge of eve has a new series, in which I am participating this week…its called g2k, and its a lot of fun!

 

The questions for this week are:

 

• Who has always stood by your side? That would be my mom. She has always been one of my biggest supporters.  She has helped me fight all the way through my childhood for absolutely everything.
• What year were you born? I was born in 1980. I actually like that I am an 80’s kid.
• Where were you born? I was born in Cork, in Ireland.
• When is your birthday? 19th April.
• How many siblings do you have? I have 1 sister, Laura, she’s 29, I don’t have any brothers.
• Why is mental health important? It is important because we need to break down stigma, and destroy myths.
Journal prompt: Write a thank you letter to the person who has stood by your side.
Dear mom,
Thanks for always being there for me. Thanks for helping me through everything. I don’t know where I’d be without you. In fact I don’t know what I’d do without you. I cant imagine life without you in it. I am so glad you are my mom. I couldn’t ask for a better mom. Your love has always been unwavering.  I am so grateful that you are my mom.  Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.  Thank you for all of the good times.  We have had a lot of them.  I know we haven’t always had the best mother daughter relationship, but now that we do, I am so thankful. I am delighted our relationship turned around.  Thank you for always doing your best for me. I know life wasn’t easy for you. You were young when you had me at only 17, I know you knew nothing about blindness or even disability.  Having a child so young and then that child having a disability must’ve been so hard for you.  But you didn’t falter. You went on. You are so strong.  Thank you for passing your strength on to me. I love you, mom.
your loving daughter,
Carol anne

 

the Blogging chums award

The lovely Emilia over at
http://myinnermishmash.wordpress.com/
nominated me for this award.
Below you’ll find the rules.

1. Be sure to use the award image!
2. List the rules & about paragraph!
3. Thank whoever nominated you!
4. Write a letter to someone who means a lot to you to spread some positivity around the Internet anyone will do!
5. Nominate 5-10 more people for the award and go let them know about it in their comments!

First, I must break rule number one. I dont have an image, I cant find it anywhere. Does it matter?

And now, for th e paragraph about this award.

The Blogging Chums Award is given to particularly brilliant bloggers who are really providing something special to the community, either through their writing or the way they engage with other people: theyre just brilliant!

And now for my letter? I am going to write it to Nitro, my guide dog.

Dear sweet nitro

Did you know how much you mean to me? Well if you didnt, I’m going to tell you here.

You are the most loyal, loving, dog. I love you for it. You are such a sweetheart. Such a cuddle bug.

Every day I thank my lucky stars that your in my life.

My life wouldnt be the same without you. I cant believe your 7 now. How time flies.

Five years I’ve had you. Five years ago you bounced into my life. How happy I was then.

I feel like the luckiest dog mama. To have such an incredible dog like you are.

Thank you for bringing so much happiness and joy to my life.

love

carol anne

I am also breaking the nomination rule, so just to say, if you’d like to participate, go for it! I nominate all of you!

#SoCs for May 5th 2018

The prompt for stream of consciousness this week is letter. For this prompt I am going to write a letter to one of my abusers. Tell them how much I hate them. I think this will help me venting and writing always does. So here goes.

 

Dear Oliver

 

did you think about me when you were abusing me? no, I doubt it. I doubt you thought about anyone except yourself. that’s because your a selfish human being. you robbed me of so many things, my innocence, my childhood, my freedom. you took and took and you didn’t care. you are despicable. and I hate you for it.

I wonder if you are dead? probably not. its always the good people who die young and the bad evil monsters who live on forever.

my life meant absolutely nothing to you. all you wanted to do was to play your sick twisted games. and inflict pain and hurt on me.

well I am here to tell you oliver, I survived, I thrived, and you did not win. you will never win. I will always win.

your heart is filled with evil. hate. you are sick and twisted and evil.

you were supposed to be a care taker. take care of us. help us if we needed help. not abuse at every chance you got. not cause damage to innocent children.

you will never learn though. because abusers don’t learn. abusers cant be cured.

you will always be a sick twisted evil man. and I will always hate you for what you did.

 

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS May 5/18