These are courtesy of bluebird of bitterness! Funny stuff here guys! Its not Monday but well I thought you could all use a laugh!
It doesn’t take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter.
Dogs cannot lie.
Dogs never resist nap time.
You don’t need to get extra phone lines for a dog.
Dogs don’t pester you about getting a kid.
Dogs don’t care if the peas have been touched by the mashed potatoes.
Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks old.
Your dog is not embarrassed if you sing in public.
Average cost of sending a dog to school: $42
Average cost of sending a kid: $103,000
Hope this gets to the list.
Dogs and Computers – Same or Different
Method used to end undesirable behavior
Dogs: hit with rolled up newspaper
Computers: hit control-alt-delete
After destruction of personal property
Dogs: dog not found
Computers: file not found
Dogs: roll over
Computers: play dead
Fun way to mess with their heads
Dogs: peanut butter on roof of mouth
Computers: peanut butter in CD-ROM drive
Consequence of virus
Dogs: replace valuable carpeting
Computers: replace valuable data
Waste disposal tool
Sensitive internal procedures
Dogs: must be undertaken by fully qualified professional
Computers: may be undertaken by that guy at work who fixed one kind of
Method of marking territory
Dogs: lifting leg
Computers: “Designed for Windows”
Dogs: lick and drag
Inexplicable physical feature
Computers: scroll lock key
Dogs: 12 years
Computers: 12 months
ITS LIZ! I THOUGHT I’D DO THE WORD OF THE DAY CHALLENGE, THE WORD FOR THE DAY WAS GIGGLE! SO HERE YOU GO, A FEW OF MY SARCASTIC PHRASES, HAVE A GOOD GIGGLE AT THESE!
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”
– Steven Wright
“It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”
“If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”
“I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”
“I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”
“Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”
“Find your patience before I lose mine.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
“My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”
“Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.”
“Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal.”
“I’ve got a good heart but this mouth…”
“Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again.”
“I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.”
“Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you.”
Heres my laugh for the day! I love Ellen de generes, her show is hilarious, she always makes me laugh! Here are some of her favourite Lol moments.
Just wanted to wish you all a very happy Monday! Here is some giggles to brighten it up for you! 😀
via Monday Funnies…
Ross brown is a local cork comedian. He’s very very funny. The Jeremy kyle show is a UK day time chat show. Its trashy. Here is ross, prank calling them. Listen to this and have a good laugh!