In The volunteering I do, there is a lot of outreach work associated with it. So my regular followers know that I work for an organisation locally called friendly call, we have a client base, who are vulnerable, elderly, isolated and living alone, ill, mentally ill, etc. As part of our work, we do things sometimes for the clients, it isnt just daily phone calls we provide for them. We have also been known to cut their lawns, bring them shopping, do home visits, in fact today my supervisor brought a client to macdonalds for lunch. My supervisor is awesome. She goes way above and beyond what she is supposed to do, what her job description says. She really is a great community development worker which is what her title is. If we werent doing those things, our clients would have very little support, so its good we’re able to provide them with the extra support. It feels so good to be able to help someone out. I really do feel great every time I finish a shift at my volunteer job.


I met with my new job coach today

so this afternoon, i went and met my new job coach, whose name is chris. and what a lovely guy he is! he’s so nice, and so easy to talk to!

we are starting off with an initial get to know each other period, so today we just filled out paperwork, and chatted about me, and about the type of work I’d like to do, about my background etc.

I told him about my mental illnesses, and we talked about disclosure to an employer, he said I probably should disclose that I am suffering with a mental illness to them, but that I didnt have to disclose the exact illnesses, he said 1 in 3 people who are in a job now has a mental illness of some kind! Mindblowing!

Anyway, he said they work with some employers, like, they have a list of employers that they work with, and something might come out of that, because sometimes the employers ask if there is anyone on the job coaching agencys books who can fill a role they are hiring for.

But he encouraged me to look for jobs, and he said I can email him or phone him if I need anything, so if I find a job I feel is suitable, I can email him on the details and he’ll look at it for me. He gave me a few websites to go looking up jobs, so I’ll be doing that soon!

We talked about pay, and he told me minimum wage here is 10.10 an hour, so thats the least I can earn, but I could earn more. But I gotta be careful about my benefits, not work too many hours. But I’m going to try for part time at first, about 25 hours per week.

It was a very encouraging meeting, he seems like a very competent guy, like someone who can really help me to succeed and get a job! At least I hope so! He said he’s going to email me on some stuff over the next while, and he’ll also tidy up my CV!

So I left feeling very hopeful!

Second check in call from the weekend team, and the rest of my day!

So this morning I got another call from a nurse on the weekend team. This nurse is one of the community psychiatric nurses so I knew her. Her name is Gillian and she is very very nice. She was very understanind about how bad things are for me at the moment. We talked through my symptoms, and she talked me through some coping strategies, and she told me that if I needed them throughout the day that I shouldnt hesitate to phone them, that they’d be there until 5 PmM, and after that, she advised me to go to the psych hospital to be seen, but I told her I was seeing Dr. Barry tomorrow and that I can wait until then. I knew I’d be ok until I saw her. So we hung up on the understanding that if I needed them again I’d phone. I had dinner at mom and dads, then I left and went home. Mom came with me for a little while, and once she left, I took some fenergan and lay down and slept for a few hours. It was bliss. The fenergan really knocks me out, but I think thats what I needed. I needed to get some good, uninterrupted sleep. And that is what I got. I didnt care that it was in the day, it doesnt matter to me if I am up tonight. Actually I kinda like being up at night. Nights are when we’re triggered, and I feel safer being up and awake sometimes, I dont know why but I do. I’m glad I had some uninterrupted sleep, it reset my brain again and now I am feeling ok, although the bad anxiety is still there, along with the dissociation and time loss and switchiness. But I’m happy to report that I’ve taken our meds now all of them for one whole week, and I am super proud, I havent missed a single dose. Yay. Thats good going as before I was missing 2 or 3 nights each week and I’d sometimes miss doses in the morning also. I’m determined to keep remembering them as I feel they are helping and I need them and need to be taking them properly. I’ve made some tea and my plan now is to watch a little TV and then finish up my book tonight also. I see Dr. Barry in the morning. I’m looking forward to seeing her. Then in the afternoon I meet with my new job coach. I’m pretty nervous about it as I will have to go into my history a lot and I will have to disclose my mental illnesses to him so that he’s able to best help me and support me in going back to work. I dont mind having to do it but I am just a little nervous about it. I hope the anxiety doesnt ramp up a lot during the night tonight, but we’ll see, my guess is it will as it always does or seems to do.

Meeting with a job coach

I have a meeting with a job coach on MOnday at 3 PM.

I’m hoping he will be able to help me to get a job

I was on a waiting list to see him for a while, for about 3 months actually. And finally yesterday he called me to arrange an appointment.

I’m sure its going to take a while to find something thats suitable. Now my next decision will be will I go to work part time, or full time. I havent decided that yet. If I did find something suitable I’d go full time, but then I am thinking maybe part time is the better option because maybe thats all I can handle.

I’ll know more next week when I meet chris. He seemed nice on the phone. I had initially asked for a female but they must have forgotten that I asked for a female and they placed me with chris.

Its ok though. I’m willing to give him a chance.

I have emailed my CV into him. Its not up to date, but it will give him a chance to see the kinds of things I am interested in.

Busy day at the office

i had a great shift today on friendly call. i dorked for 3 hours. made a load of calls. there was one client who told me over and over how thankful she was for our call. she said its the only call she gets in the day, and how she doesnt see anyone else, how we’re the only contact she has with someone each day. so sad. but boy am i glad we are able to phone her. she’s such a special lady. so chatty and so so appreciative of our calls. i love my job so, so much. its incredible to be able to be doing something I love. I enjoy going in to the office. And not just because of the clients. I also enjoy meeting the rest of the volunteers. We have great banter in the office. Plus we also are able to talk about the clients and stuff which is nice. There is a coffee morning next week for the volunteers, but I have college on that morning so I wont be able to make it. I’m kinda bummed about that. I really wanted to go to starbux. Oh well maybe next time. My supervisor said she’d put another coffee morning on in march. I just got home about 20 minutes ago. I’m tired but I have to go out again in an hour, I am going to slimming world tonight. Until then though I am just relaxing and enjoying a few minutes of free time.

Appointment with my resource worker at NCBI tomorrow

I have an apt with Catrina my resource worker at the national council for the blind in the morning. Its about employment, but I am not sure what we’ll actually be doing. I went to her a few weeks ago to do some work on job skills, and we did a personality test also. She didn’t tell me what this session is going to be about. all she said is, it will take an hour and a half. So I am wondering now what it will be all about.  I am a little anxious about it if I am honest.  I am still just getting to know her and its hard to open up to her.  I don’t know her well enough to be totally honest with her, although I do try to be as open as I can be with her. And I did tell her about my mental health difficulties.  I just hope that the apt goes well and is beneficial to me.  I guess we’ll see in the morning. I hope I can sleep tonight, but right now I am thinking I really don’t know if I will or not. I am hoping I do though.

No work today

I didn’t go in to work today. I decided I needed to take a day off. I just couldn’t deal with anyone or anything, I didn’t have it in me to face listening to other people problems, so I called in and I took a day off. And I feel all the better for it!

My supervisor was very understanding. She asked me if I would be able to come in next week, I said I would. She’s off next week, so she said she’d send me my lists today so that I’d know who to call when I go in on Tuesday.

So I’ve been pretty much relaxing all afternoon. I’m at my mom and dads house for the weekend. My mom went to the beach with my sister, but I didn’t go with them. Mom and me are going to go out tomorrow, we’ll go visit my grammas grave, and then go for a long walk around a local lake.

I’m glad I took the day off. Sometimes you just gotta be good to yourself. You have to put yourself first. If I am not ok, what use will I be to anyone else?