exit complete

so my exit from the ILS course is now complete. my course tutor and me have been emailing back and forth for the past two days.
she said there were two forms i needed to sign. she offered to fill them in for me and when i collect the remainder of my belongings tomorrow night on my way to slimming world i can sign them.
one is to transfer my disability payment back to my a=bank account, the other is the exit form to let the people who run the course know I am leaving.
she said she’s put the reason down as health reasons but she said she wouldnt give any other details which I am grateful about.
I told her I may come back again at some point in the future, who knows, i might.
she said she’d miss me!
that was nice of her to say so.
so another chapter in my life is complete. and i still feel good about it.

I made a big decision

so i’ve been thinking a lot. thinking about my life. and about the ILS course. And about the basement club. since starting the ILS course I havent been in to the basement club. And I miss them all. And i miss the support of the people and staff in there. And since we are kinda struggling a lot, well Liz has been lately, and so have some others in our system, I think we need to get back into going to the basement club. We need to watch our mental health. Be careful that we dont end up back in the hospital due to not minding ourselves. So…I thought about it and I’ve decided to finish up doingthe independent living skills course. I’ve been there since last October. So almost 7 months. And I did get a lot out of th course. So although I’ve decided to finish early, I’m still glad I did it. It helped me and I learned many new skills. But now its time to finish up. It is time to put my mental health first. And time to go back to shine, and the basement club full time. All this came about this weekend. A friend of mine and another member of the basement clug emailed me on friday. And she said two of the long time staff were leaving the basement club. I was shocked. Then we had an email conversation back and forth. And i realised how much I am out of th e loop. And I realised how much I miss them all in there. So this is the best decision for me right now I think. Now that I’ve made it I feel happier, and more content. I feel I’ve done the right thing. I feel good about the decision I made. Liz is also happy that we’ll be going back to the basement club. She’s happy that she’ll be among people who get it and understand. While we were doing the ILS course we hid a lot. We couldnt really show it if we struggled with MH issues. We had to hide it and fake a smile. And it effected us. So this is definitely the right decision for us. I’ll keep on doing my volunteer work. I’m not giving that up. All I’ll be giving up is living at abode during the week, and going full time to the ILS course. Instead now I’ll drop in to the basement club a few days a week. And I’ll participate in the activities going on in there. Now that I’ve come to that decision, I’m happy. I’ll be able to sleep well tonight knowing i’ve made the right decision for my mental health.

Career preparation

one of my modules on the ILS course is career preparation. this morning I worked on that module. Its quite detailed. There are a lot of different exercises to fill out for it. I made a personal profile. That was not too hard. I had to talk about my strengths, talents, goals and achievements, qualifications, education, etc. I had to pick out careers that I thought suited my personality and profile. Then I had to answer questions on planning a career. I had to explain terms like career, work, casual work, and so on. I spent about an hour and a half working on th e folder. I got a lot of work done. It was great. If I keep working at the pace I am working at now, I will have the module ready to be handed in for the summer and I should have my certificate for it by mid august. My tutor said hopefully the module will help me figure out where I want to go when I am finished the ILS course, I kinda want to work parttime, but we’ll see. It really depends on if I can find a suitable job, if not then I might do a CE scheme, community employment scheme. That is where you work 20 hours a week somewhere, but you only get payed for the work you do by the government, so it is kinda slave labour because your doing the same work that a full time employee would do but your getting a government payment for it. We’ll see. First I need to do this module, and then research jobs and schemes and stuff.

good morning

morning everyone
well i didnt have a very good night. we finally went to bed around 2 AM. we did manage to fall asleep but then nitro woke us up. he was panting a lot so i figured he wanted to go out.
i’d let him out at 9:30 Pm and usually thats enough, he usually doesnt need to go during the night.
so i let him out, and then came back to bed. i got hungry then so i ate some fruit. that satisfied me and i was eventually able to go back to sleep.
i woke around 7:30. did not want to get up. really struggled to pull myself out of bed. i did eventually get up though.
just had breakfast now and am just waiting to go into class. we are doing our health and safety module this morning. then after small break they are going shopping for all the ingredients we will need for our skills demo and for practicing it.
i wont go shopping with them. i never do.
in the afternoon i am volunteering.
its really pouring down rain outside. one day of nice weather and we’re back to rain again ug.
carol anne

New nurse on duty tonight

so there is a new nurse on duty here tonight. she just started. for anyone who doesnt know i’m in a residential setting, monday to friday, while I complete the independent living skills course. I stay here during the week, and go home on weekends.
anyway. this nurse just started tonight. she’s very patronising. i must say im not sure i like her.
i dunno its her manner? she acts like we’re all children, or something!
and shes very condescending. i do not like that one bit.
not sure we’re gonna take to her. hoping she is just not used to how things here are run and in a day or two she’ll get better, well I sincerely hope she will otherwise i’m screwed.

Pushing myself to walk

I feel so good! I really pushed myself this morning. We went to the park next to where I do the ILS course, and I did four laps. Normally I do 3. I’ve never done more than that. I used to be only able to do two before I would get out of breath. Now I am up to four! I cant believe it! I feel so proud of myself. I am making progress! It took me 20 minutes to do four laps. Then I came inside and ate a big bowl of soup, it was carrot, cellery, onion and chick pea soup that we made this morning. It was delicious! The only thing is, my tutor fell in the park, nitro knocked her over! He was off the lead and he came running at both of us and crashed into her and knocked her over! silly doggie! He had a ball though running around. He was in his element and had so much fun! He needs that. He needs to burn off his energy. I love giving him space to free run at least once a week if I can. He enjoys it as well. Now my tutor just told me she had to write up an incident report. Always a drama around here. There are so many rules if you so much as get a tip. But because her knees are sore she said she’d better do it just in case she had to go to her gp at the weekend. so yeah. But its been a good morning. Going home in an hour. Cant wait, bring on the weekend!
carol anne

fast movers!

so today i got a lovely compliment, from one of my instructors at the ils course.
she said, your a fast worker, and a fast mover!
me and another guy on the course were doing a team work exercise together.
its really my exercise but i needed someone to work on it with me, so steven thats the guys name said he’d work on it with me.
last week we started it. and we got so much done!
we finished almost half the exercise!
today we finished another part of it. and our tutor said next week we’ll probably complete it!
its for my work experience module. which is almost complete now yay 😀
what we had to do was research two occupations.
so i chose social work. and steven chose cheffing.
it was fun to research them. then we had to build an information folder about our research.
i did enjoy working with steven. he’s a quiet guy. very unassuming. very helpful and thoughtful.
so yay another job done almost. 😀
so excited to almost have this one under my belt.