i am afraid
afraid to let anyone in
afraid of closeness
afraid of people
afraid to trust
if i must trust
it takes me forever
i am suspicious of everyone
and with good reason
i’ve had my fare share of hurt and pain
in my past
and it lingers
old habits die hard
wounds run deep
and i keep
it hidden well
because if i tell
i’m suspicious and afraid
that some day
someone will hurt me again
and this time
there will be no coming back from that place of hurt
FEELING ALL EMOTIONAL. WANTING TO GIVE UP. WANTING TO JUST SLEEP BUT CANT. SO TIRED, SO DAMN TIRED. FEEL SO LOST AND ALONE. SWIMMING AND STRUGGLING TO TREAD WATER…
Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
hi its allie. I’m doing the song of the day today.
I love Kelly Clarkson. this song is one I love.
I play it over and over. the lyrics express how I feel a lot of the time.
the song reminds me how Eileen and dr. barry stay even though i try to push them away so much.
I love the song. I hope you guys like it too.
allie, age 9
im erika and im 7
i like care bears
and i am darinas best frend
we hang out with each other inside all the time
she protects me
cuz im always sad and so anxious
i feelin sad now too
sad and scared
dont kno why tho
my tumy hurts tho
i feelin lik i wana fro up
“i dont know why your being assessed”
“there is nothing wrong with you”
“your wasting peoples time and money”
“you are not sikck”
“you must love going to doctors”
all spoken by our dad. words hurt. my heart is empty and heavy. the grief is weighing heavily on my heart tonight.
i wanted mom to go to our assessment on friday. i wanted it so bad. i wanted her to go to support us.
but she said no. a firm no.
“why would i go”
“your being assessed, not me”
“I have no business being there”
“its pointless me going”
nothing about i know its hard so I’ll go to support you. it fucking hurts.
Am I real?
Right now it doesnt feel like it at all!
Wondering, because things seem really off!
I need a friend so if anyones around, write to me? thanks guys!