These are courtesy of bluebird of bitterness! Funny stuff here guys! Its not Monday but well I thought you could all use a laugh!
Hope this gets to the list.
Dogs and Computers – Same or Different
Method used to end undesirable behavior
Dogs: hit with rolled up newspaper
Computers: hit control-alt-delete
After destruction of personal property
Dogs: dog not found
Computers: file not found
Dogs: roll over
Computers: play dead
Fun way to mess with their heads
Dogs: peanut butter on roof of mouth
Computers: peanut butter in CD-ROM drive
Consequence of virus
Dogs: replace valuable carpeting
Computers: replace valuable data
Waste disposal tool
Sensitive internal procedures
Dogs: must be undertaken by fully qualified professional
Computers: may be undertaken by that guy at work who fixed one kind of
Method of marking territory
Dogs: lifting leg
Computers: “Designed for Windows”
Dogs: lick and drag
Inexplicable physical feature
Computers: scroll lock key
Dogs: 12 years
Computers: 12 months
If youre going to tell people the truth, be funny or theyll kill you.
The towns people decided that they wanted an embargo on the word fuck! Frank thought this was outrageous!
Who does that! He exclaimed!
I love that word! I need to be able to use it!
Its part of my everyday vocab!
His wife just laughed at him, and playfully punched the air!
Find a new word, frank!
Its not as easy as that, he sighed.
That word has gotten me out of a lot of sticky situations!
When I tell people who I dont like, go fuck yourself, they know I mean business!
When I say, fuck you, they know I am serious!
Oh frank, his wife cried!
Why cant you just be a little nicer to people! It really takes more strength to be nice than to be mean!
Frank was having none of it! I’m not a pushover, he shouted!
His wife just said, whatever! I have things to do! If your going to be grumpy you can be grumpy on your own! Dont try to make me agree with you!
And with that, she stormed off, leaving frank to stew!
Just wanted to wish you all a very happy Monday! Here is some giggles to brighten it up for you! 😀
via Monday Funnies…
Work hard, don’t quit, be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful, also to never whine ever, never complain, and, always, for crying out loud, keep a sense of humor.