Fibbing Friday, March 15th

FIBBING FRIDAY MARCH 15

What would a Friday be without the chance to fib? So, put on your thinking caps and prepare your biggest whopper.

Here are this week’s questions:
1.What did the fox say? ” Who knows, I cant make it out, hehhehe!
2.What really ran Grandma over? Her range rover, she’s too old to be driving!!
3.Those aren’t elves in Santa’s workshop…what are they? Fairies! How else does he make hundreds of toys so quickly?
4.What were the milkman’s confessions? I deliver more than just milk 🙂
5.The Mad Hatter wasn’t really a hatter, what was his occupation? Psychiatrist!
6.What is your favorite sandwich? Ham and pineapple, lol, oh that’s a pizza! Haha!
7.What do you like to curl up with on cold winter nights? Some things should be kept private. 😲
8.Davy Jones doesn’t have a locker…what does he have? ahem, I cannt say, its too rude!
9.Blackbeard was a not a pirate…what was he? A zookeeper!
10.What are the real directions to Neverland? I’ll never tell.
11.Why do people in old tv shows and movies spend so much time sitting on their front porch? They’re so bored, and they cant figure out what else to do!
12.What really happened to the three little pigs? one went to market, one stayed home, and the other went wee wee wee all the way home!
13.What really is Trump’s Space Force? The space between his ears.
14.Who brings the Easter eggs? Oh now, that would be my Nitro furbaby! He loves chocolate!
15.What is down the rabbit hole? Bunny Poop!

If you’d like to fib, head on over to “The Haunted Wordsmith” –

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/03/15/fibbing-friday-march-15/

Lame duck day…

Did you know?
That today is Lame Duck Day? This unofficial holiday honors those who are on their way out of their elected office. The term originated in a field far from politics, however. The first usage has been traced to the London Stock Exchange in the 18th century, referring to “someone who couldn’t pay his or her debts and then waddled off like a duck.” Regardless of how you use it, honor any lame ducks you may know! 😉

Joke. Butch the rooster

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young
pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any
rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a
lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her
roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance
which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out
an efficiency report just by listening to the bells. Sarah’s favorite
rooster, old Butch, was a fine specimen but, this morning, she noticed old
Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the
other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets
hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To Sarah’s amazement, old
Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a
pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one. Sarah was so proud of old
Butch, she entered him in a show and he became an overnight sensation among
the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No
Bell Piece Prize”, they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician
could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on the planet by
being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them
when they weren’t paying attention? Vote carefully in the next election:
You can’t always hear the bells.

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You know you are in deep trouble when…

You know you are in DEEP TROUBLE when…..

* The stewardess on your American Airlines flight tells you NOT to fasten your seatbelt.

* Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked BVI.

* You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your late car payment.

* Your suggestion box starts ticking.

* You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.

* You see the cruise captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket.

* They pay your wages out of petty cash.

* You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you’ve ever had.

* Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the vacation budget.

* The simple instructions enclosed aren’t.

* A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.

* You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife.

* You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together.

* Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.

* The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

* The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.